Disappointed

I'd be really grateful and happy if I had a birthday like yours, I've learned to never expect anytjing, I spoil myself on my birthday

I'll put out there what happened my birthday
Got one card from my parents
Got a pizza for tea
That's it

As you get older birthdays seem to become less important. I can’t remember the last time my birthday was actually celebrated! I usually go out for a coffee with my mum & the kids and that’s it. This year my mum was on holiday so I literally did nothing, stayed home and ordered myself a take away. It is disappointing but I buy my own presents, I’ll get my favourite food and watch a movie & basically look after myself in ways that I usually don’t.
You’re not wrong for feeling disappointed but at the same time if you’re not asking for things from your husband, or telling him what you’d like to do and vocalising your wants and needs then I guess you have to accept that he’s done what he thought was acceptable.
Maybe let him know you’re feeling a bit deflated and would have liked more effort from him

Tbh I don't care much for my birthday, so having lunch cooked for me and a cake made would make me day! It was my 40th birthday last week, my mum bought me a few lovely gifts and a cake, and my fiance is paying for a weekend away, so that's enough for me 🥰 x

wow, i get you.
For my birthday this year, everyone forgot.

I bought myself a cake that says
“I just wanna eat cake”

My dad was telling me off for wasting money buying cake just because i’m craving for one. 😂😂😂

People realised it was my birthday a few days after. 😬

I have learnt not to expect, yes, but I gotta admit, it still stings.

As someone who has a birthday around or on a major holiday I would be greatful for just a happy birthday. I spent most of my life with everyone even my parents forgetting it's my birthday. People went out of their way to send you cards, flowers and make you food. It may not be exactly how you hoped or as much effort as you had hoped for. Enjoy the small efforts while they are still there.

Me and hubby don't gift each other for birthdays or anniversary as we like to keep it pressure and expectation free. We gift each other things sponteniously throughout the year instead. We do tend to dine in (Cook something special) or dine out). I am free to do whatever I want on my birthday, if go for a spa treat/massage, get hair done etc. I usually do those days leading to my birthday and just want an easy day doing nothing and relaxing for my birthday. I don't really mind if people forget as long as me and hubby and kids spend quality time together, I'm happy with that.

I would definitely be disappointed. I'm very choked about all the person saying no one did anything for them for their birthday... Especially from your partner. He should know how you like to be celebrated and do something nice for you.
I'm sorry he didn't make you feel special as you and all the women above deserve.

I think you did pretty well there to be honest 😁

I’d be upset only about the husband thing. But in response to how you always buy gifts for others etc. I am not fond of the idea of expecting the exact same effort and gifts back from someone you did something for. Typically for me if I’m buying someone something it’s because I know they will enjoy it. If I get a card from them on my birthday I do not compare. The thought counts and people can show appreciation in a number of ways.

Happy birthday. This year I spent my birthday in the park with my 3 week old prem baby wrapped up warm as it was winter and my two kids playing in the swings.

Came home and watched movies with the kids. Got no cards and a bunch of flowers from my kids dad.

I spend every year with pretty much the same effort or lack of from everyone around me.

Life I guess.

But if you want more maybe communicate it. I guess x

I don’t really think adult birthdays matter much. I’d rather people not waste money on me on stuff that I have no room for. I’ve told my husband not to buy me anything anymore because I’d rather save the money to do something nice at another point. His birthday is in Jan so gets eclipsed by Christmas and no one can really afford to do anything and they have low social meters left. I don’t really do anything for him on his birthday because anything he wants, he buys himself.

But that’s us and our priorities. If you care about your birthday then tell people what it is that you expect/want to do.

That's way more than we do in my house for a birthday that isn't a child's birthday.... for us adult birthdays are mostly just another day 🤷‍♀️

I'm not expecting my birthday to be celebrated any more as my little girls birthday is the day before mine. So that will get the more focus and attention which of course I don't mind.

As an adult, I personally feel like birthdays are less important. None of my friends or siblings even text me on my birthday, so I think getting cards and flowers sounds lovely! The homemade meal and cake from your MIL were a nice gesture too. Perhaps she just forgot you don’t care much for cake.

My husband and I aren’t much into gifts. He gets me a card, chocolates, and flowers, and I usually buy myself a few new clothing items. We don’t really do gifts unless it’s something one of us asks for, since we don’t see the point of spending $$ on things the other doesn’t like or need 🤷‍♀️

I feel like the only person it’s reasonable to be disappointed in is your husband, and only if you’d specifically told him what you were expecting. If you didn’t communicate your expectations clearly, it’s unfair to hold that against him. Honestly it comes across as kind of entitled to expect gifts from everyone - many people aren’t in the financial position to afford gifts for all of their friends and extended relatives!

I think what your friend and mil did sounds nice. But your husbands sounds pretty low effort so can understand you feeling a little disappointed. Im not bothered about expensive gifts but some thought is nice and the iou sounds pretty last minute.
Just because you’re a mum/ adult it doesn’t mean you can’t be celebrated on your birthday. And I actually think it’s good for the kids to see that too!

That sounds like a lovely birthday tbh…

Tbh unless it's my mum nobody ever did something special for my birthday. I think you got a really nice birthday, I would be really grateful to have had similar.

If you want your husband to get you a bigger gift just tell him. My husband is the same, unless I tell him to buy me a gift he gets something small like chocolate, cake or flowers. I think most guys are like that when it comes to gifts

I completely disagree with people saying our birthdays become less important. That's bull. They just become less recognised, not less important.

You are important and deserve to be celebrated on your birthday.

A good partner spoils they significant other for their special day; flowers, a small gift and dinner out or a spa voucher and a cake. Or a spa day and brunch or gifts and family night or a day out with the kids and then cake or flowers and a mani-pedi or whatever a special day is to the birthday person.

A good partner shows that they care, that they thought about their significant other, that they know them and that they put in an effort to show them they are loved.

It's not damn hard, and I'd be devastated.

For example, for mothers day, 6 months ago, I got an "I'll pay for a spa day for you and we can go together and I'll use the voucher you got me".

It seemed really sweet, but I feel like he just couldn't be bothered to actually put in effort for me.

It sucks.

My birthday is just another day to me , wake up with the kids , clean and run around all day playing with them , cook dinner and then shower and go to bed nothing special. Birthday cards don't go up no cake ,no gifts just the way I like it 😊