in

Australia

AIBU!? I’m really upset right now.

I am 6 months pregnant and expecting our 4th. I woke up this morning and suggested a date night with my husband because I know the one on one is good for us.

I took the kids out from 10am this morning and it was a bit of a chaotic day and we didn’t get home till about 5pm. The kids were wild at home but I knew if I hadn’t had a rest I’d have no energy for date night, which I wanted to get some energy back so we could have a great night.

I told my husband I was having a rest and he spent 45 mins in the toilet while the kids were literally WWE smackdown-ing each other and if they weren’t doing that they were raiding the cupboards. Now this is not the behaviour I condone so obviously I couldn’t have the restful sleep I wanted.

The kids are getting babysat tonight so my mother in law came over to pick them up and was surprised that we weren’t ready and my husband thinking I was asleep swore about me and told her that he didn’t know when the f*** we were leaving because I’m sleeping. She laughed instead of defended which I feel pissed me off more.

I’m really upset by this poor form because I never speak poorly about my husband and it’s also out of character for me to jump on here and say this but I just feel like I need to be heard right now because it’s really beating me up. I called him out after they left because what grown man runs to his mum and talks negatively about his wife who clearly needs a god damn break

I’m just really feeling alone right now and I have nobody to go to, because in my mind he is my protector and if he isn’t there to protect me I literally have nobody else. My family is dysfunctional so there’s no goodness out of going there.

A bit of background, he doesn’t start his day until after I’ve gotten up and gotten the kids ready for school and I rarely come straight back home in the mornings but sometimes I come back he is still snoozing. He has the luxury of waking up and getting ready as a person without the push and pull of children needing you all the time. Me on the other hand, I wake up to demand as soon as my eyes open so this puts me constantly into a state of survival all day because it’s usually an adrenal wake up. I go to bed usually after I put the kids to bed because I’ve just been running on empty most of the time. He goes out after work and comes home at late hours. Instead of coming straight home from work he stops at the gym first. I feel that he has it too good at the moment and I’m also resenting him for that. This is more than likely the root cause to this outburst but I really felt it brewing for a while.

So I called him out to his face because I don’t need to hide behind anyone I go straight to him and said what I needed to. His responses were “f**k off with your hormones”, “I don’t care”, “I didn’t say anything wrong”. I’ve been absolutely gas lit which is pissing me the hell off. I asked him to take accountability and he turned into a coward about it. I called him disgusting because literally eww right now I don’t even want him in the house I feel like asking him to leave the premises so I can be depressed at home by myself without hearing his loud breathing and so I can take advantage of the time alone while the kids aren’t around.