My 21 month old throwing extreme tantrums

Idk what to do, my baby is getting to where she is throwing herself on the floor rolling around screaming and crying inconsolably. She is constantly saying no and not wanting to go to certain people and not mind going to those certain people other times. She can be so sweet and happy and then turn so fast. I know it’s probably normal but idk what I can do to get through it more smoother and to help navigate my family in certain situations without just getting mad at some family members who just get mad or annoyed easily over it?? Also she’s done it out in public a couple times and I feel like a kidnapper with my child screaming and crying and kicking off of me and telling me “no no no”

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It’s still hard for them to talk so this is our toddlers best way to communicate their needs to us right now. I would say try to follow to your babies cues. You can probably sense when your baby is going to be their best self and times when they are not. Babies love routine because they know what to expect, like nap time, dinner time etc… so try to stay in a routine. When you’re out of your routine, just explain to family that you’re out of your routine right now which is why your baby is acting out. If your baby is having a tantrum, she/he is wanting something from you they are not receiving. Once toddlers get what they are looking for its very normal for the tantrum to turn into giggles and smiles. So just try to follow your babies cues to avoid the tantrums and keep a routine. You’re doing good Mama… and it’s all normal. We got this!!

It's so hard but so normal. At this age toddlers start to experience more complex feelings and wants but aren't able to communicate them much yet, and their brains literally aren't capable of processing their emotions yet either so their feelings are very overwhelming to them. They also start to understand the concept of rules and boundaries and start to test them, and want to be more independent and make their own decisions and a lot of the time they don't get to do that which can be frustrating for them. Combine all of that and you get the tantrums. Half the time the things like saying no and refusing to go to people are purely because they want to have some control over SOMETHING even if they don't actually care about what they're saying no to. It's just because they have an opportunity to say no, no matter what it's to. I find giving my toddler options when I can (little things like pick which shirt he wears or which snack he gets, etc) helps him be more agreeable with other things later in the day.

If your family gets annoyed by it I would talk to them. Explain she's entering this very normal phase for toddlers and some days she might be having a harder time, and maybe explain to them the approach you'd rather they take with reacting to it. Staying calm and gently talking to him always helps my toddler calm down sooner, if I get frustrated or annoyed he kinda feeds off that and it escalates. Which can be difficult sometimes but does get easier with practice. Take a deep breath and let her scream for a minute if you need to regulate yourself first, it won't hurt her.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.