Grandma inlaw smothering LO in kisses 😫

Your daughter and her sense of control of her own body is more important than what any other family says. I don't give a rats ass who you are, I am not going to force anything. Same with kisses. Sorry, we can pass things to them without knowing we have something and I'm not going to chance it!

“Well your granddaughter is my daughter first and I don’t feel comfortable with you disrespecting her boundaries.”

A conversation definitely needs to be had, but I think your husband should be the one to initiate it, since you are on the same page and it’s his family member.
My son will be taught to have the same boundaries as you are instilling in your daughter.
Kissing in the lips is a no no, the amount of infections airborne and otherwise going around currently, you have to protect her at all cost. A hurt feeling is a small price to pay.

Honestly I think it's really important that you confront it and your daughter will benefit from seeing that you do not allow anyone to chase them down and give them kisses and hugs when they've said no, and that mummy and daddy have her back in this.
I know it's hard to be assertive but you have to remember that someone is touching your child when they've said no - that's how serious it is. That means that to them, their no means nothing, and can lead to them feeling scared and unsafe with that family member.
Tbh id be clear that if the grandmother doesn't respect whether or not your child wants a hug and/or a kiss then she can't see her anymore and it's going to be a touchy convo and it's gonna be hard but make sure you have your partner's support. If anything make husband have the convo as it's his grandmother xx

My auntie did this to my daughter when she was 2. She asked her for a kiss and my daughter said no so she grabbed her and gave her a kiss. I hit the roof.
I was made to do this as well when I was a kid and I hated it.
Everyone knows not to do this now. I am very forceful with it

Yeahh I think this was the first thing I nipped in the bud hahaha I’d be like if he doesn’t want too he doesn’t have too and I also throw in sometimes he doesn’t want to kiss me and that’s fine! Because like you said I was made to kiss other people and hated it completely even as an adult now I am not a hugger hate it makes me feel quite ill tbh and I definitely do not categorically kiss anyone, so yeah! I always say they’re little people not objects! But yeah I always say it especially when they say you can’t get away from me 🤮

Personally, I'd be teaching my daughter to start screaming bloody murder every time Grandma started this crap. And me and Grandma would also be having a serious discussion about why she feels such a gigantic compulsion to put her lips all over an unwilling child. That's not something a healthy adult does.

You could say that they have been learning in nursery about boundaries and saying no to things they don’t like etc to bring the convo up and just say we’d appreciate it if you could support in her learning about this by not chasing her and kissing her etc. I’m sure it’s just a generational thing, which doesn’t make it okay or any better it’s just a lack of understanding by some of the older generation x

I'd make an exception with upsetting her and tell her that what she's doing is absolutely NOT okay. She may be her grand daughter, but that doesn't give her the right to force herself on her.
I would SNAP. As a matter of fact, I already have. My toddler is not affectionate and I've had to set boundaries and hurt some feelings. If she gets upset with you, it's only because she's embarrassed and being held accountable for her actions.

You and your husband are her only protection and advocates. Her wants and comfort are more important than anyone elses. If you don't speak up and protect her, then no one will! She needs and looks to you to protect her! Maybe if you think about it like that, then you will force yourself to be more assertive.

Thanks everyone! Can always count on the mums of Peanut when I need validation ❤️

I haven't had the conversation about it with my husband yet, but now I know I'm not being unreasonable or just unfair to grandma...I will do. I felt like if I said something it would just be taken that I'm being mean and trying to drive distance between them... I say that because Grandma doesn't have much of a bond with our daughter.. (which is why she does actively give her cuddles) I feel for grandma because she's lacking the closeness that she wants but if she interacted with her better they've have a better relationship and she wouldnt need to force herself upon my daughter in order to show her love and feel loved in return. I feel certain that he'll be on my side and I agree it should be him talking to her.

Thanks for your reassurance that I'm not just a crazy mum!