Was I an a-hole?

Back story - I’m pregnant with second and they have talipes of the left foot apparently, and with that comes risk of other chromosomal issues, but my screening tests etc were low

I’m really quite stressed about it and would like a NIPT blood test to check. My husband said no because he says I spend too much money and as principle, no.

I’m really pissed at this as it’s a significant thing and not something to just use as a lesson for me ? I’m annoyed he’s just not on the same page as me and just wants to constantly teach me lessons or something. Not now, please.

It escalated into an argument and I ended up saying it’s very imbalanced at the moment, he gives me ‘constructive’ criticism ALOT more than doing anything you’d expect in a loving relationship. He flips it and says you’re the one who doesn’t stay up when our son is sleeping blah blah. And I don’t, I’m pregnant and I’ve struggled the whole pregnancy. So it’s my fault. But I then say ‘but who would want to spend time with someone who constantly criticises them?’ And he got so upset and angry at me he walked off saying it was a horrible thing to say.

Was I a complete asshole? I didn’t mean to upset him and I will apologise, was it really out of line

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Sounds really odd he is using finances as an excuse not to get the test when it should really be about the health of your baby? Is he not bothered about finding out? If he isn’t bothered and will love and support your baby without a doubt in his mind then you need to both be on that page because it’s a hugely important decision to make when you boil it down, no one likes it, no one ever wants to be in that place, but ultimately it’s something that’s pretty huge.

It seems like the arguement was creating thereafter with bickering though which is sooooo easy when you’re tired and have small children, I don’t think it would have gotten that out of hand if you weren’t both shattered and both need a bit of a break really but ultimately it’s started with a monumental thing that needs to be resolved… the rest should just be an apology and put down to exhaustion xx

Icky that he is ignoring you and your child’s health to teach you a lesson. I don’t think what you said was that bad tbqh the sentiment Is valid it could probably just have been said better

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He isn't considering the baby's health nor yours. I personally would just hey it (and yes that will open something else. But here is not a time for finances and when brought up just say how anout we start working on our finaces together. What are our goals and what we value). I would get it and get on a payment plan for it if that is needed.

A medical test isn’t being frivolous with money - you’re not going and blowing a few hundred at lululemon. That’s absolutely unhinged that he picked an argument over that…

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments