I don’t want my in-laws around my baby

Let me be clear, they will absolutely have access to my baby. There is not a good enough reason to keep my son away from his paternal side of the family. They’re not dangerous or abusive. I just don’t get along with them at all. They tried to convince my husband to leave me several times before we found out we were pregnant. (My husband is the only child that moved out of the house and I think they blamed me that he never came home). Since we’re pregnant now, they seem kind of defeated knowing that I’m truly a permanent member in their lives. Now I feel like the wrapping paper on a present they want. I simply just don’t want to share my son with them. This is an immature stance. I am going to get over it, I just don’t know how yet. I need to work on forgiveness, even when others don’t change. I am trying to remind myself that just because my in-laws are shitty in-laws, doesn’t mean they’re shitty grandparents/aunts/uncles.
Any advice?

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Just try if they're good to your son. However, if they keep disrespecting you your husband needs to be the one saying something to them. Some of my husband's family actually ended up being shitty relatives to my son and their behavior towards me didn't improve, it actually got worse, so we had to cut them off when my son was 6 weeks old. They never even ask about him and two of them see my husband all the time because they work together, so I have no regrets whatsoever.

Have you talked to your partner about this, and if so what are his thoughts? Has he talked with his parents about their disrespectful behavior towards you? It might help for him to explain that you two are a united front, a team, but that you aren't his keeper. He's an adult who makes his own decisions. I would want my partner to be advocating for me, and for our decisions together. I think it's fair to hold boundaries around how much time you and your child spend around his parents. I wouldn't want my child to see a family member repeatedly being disrespectful towards me without any sort of resolution or boundary.

My in laws don’t see my son. It’s their loss 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

yes, we have had extensive conversations about it. I’m thankful that he’s chosen to stand by me no matter what. I even had a discussion with him about my relationship with his family before we got married. A sort of, “you know you’re signing up for someone who doesn’t mesh with your family”, chat before signing the dotted line. He supports my boundaries. You do make an excellent point though. If I’m disrespected in front of my child that certainly won’t be acceptable.

Just to go against the grain. It could be tricky some people may or may not treat your child poorly because it came from you.

I have definitely thought about this. At the moment, I sense that they’re trying to ignore my part in his life completely. Like, I’m just acting as a vessel for their son’s child right now. However, once they see that he is half of me too I don’t know how they will react. If they treat him as less than because of his mama, then they don’t need to be around him at all

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Money in Marriage

Hi, has anyone got an advice? My husband and me are not best with money. Basically, all my husbands wage at the moment goes to bills, rent, his petrol and some loans we took out. He has some little leftover for groceries, subscriptions and stuff. All my wage is for the whole months groceries and any other spendings like new furniture, trips, clothes, etc.
I also started a new business so I get money from there (from clients) but it's not too predictable, for now it's going to groceries only.

Usually it goes that we live off my wage for half a month or a little more, I feel comfort and freedom and then my husband kind of reassures me that we can spend more because he will also have some money left and in the end I often find myself at the checkout with an empty bank account calling him to send me money or put money on the spending card and it's embarrassing and frustratibg. It happens because either A) he doesn't think about me needing money throughout the day even though the shopping is all on me. And B) sometimes things come up for example he didn't realise he didn't pay a subscription yet, or this past week his business sent invoices too late so he lacked cashflow in his business account and couldn't pay himself, so we are broke these days even though he has around £2000 profit right now that he is owed.

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Out of curiosity, have anyone ever left their partner for not helping around the house much ?My partner works overnights and I work the day shift. We have different days off. We have two kids together. Baby and toddler. On my days off I manage to get the house clean and clean the bathroom. It’s hard for me to clean the bedroom since he is sleeping there during the day on my days off. But he doesn’t clean the bedroom on his days off. He BARELY clean the house. And when I say clean I mean like wipe stuff down, tables, walls, kitchen cabinets, clean bathrooms. He version of cleaning is just sweep and mop and sometime washing dishes (which he never puts the dishes away). And sometime if he’s not too tired he would pick up the kids toys at night. He does wash clothes all the time but he HARLY FOLD THEM AND OUT THEM AWAY. So the clothes gets wrinkle and then I become pissed because now I have to get kids ready for school, pack their lunch, some time bathe them every morning and having to iron their clothes. He claims he too tired all the damn time. I don’t how long I can keep the relationship going. I don’t want to be intimate with him because I’m so tired. I do so much. And he does so little. I know working overnight is HARD! I did it myself with no kids. But I feel like I’m doing more….. his thing is he’s with the kids more because he has to pick them up from daycare at 6PM every day. But he puts them to bed at 7:30PM/8PM most days……anyways I’m becoming fed up and starting to resent my relationship…. I’ve tried talking to him but it turns into this fight ALL THE TIME. I’m not sure what I’m looking for out this post. I’m just venting and pretty annoyed this morning. Maybe my period is coming and everything is bothering me 😫

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So my parters family have been pretty awful since I gave birth, we had a decent relationship with his siblings but since we had our baby last year they have changed. Me and my parter have racked our brains trying to understand where this change has come from and the only person we can think this stems from is his mam. She is constantly on at us to take our little one out on her own but we do not trust her to have him. This is from experiences his siblings have told us about with their children. And to be honest she has been vile to me since me and my partner got together so why would we want her watching our little one 🤣. Despite all of this, I remain pleasant with her and the rest of the family. Although it can be awkward with her, I try so hard to put on a brave face so my little one can still have a relationship with his Grandma.

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My partner has said he is done, but we still have not actually been told about this holiday we found out by accident. Do we confront it before they go? Do we wait for them to tell us? I just feel like I have wasted so much time with them trying to fix our relationship and have a good relationship with his mam. To me it seems like there will never be a good relationship with them.