I have decided to leave my husband, as I fell out of love for many things we have lived throughout our marriage.

This year he was trying to improve, be better for us, however I kept thinking about all those years that I have endured his bad temper, his toughness, his bad attitude while driving, making me feel so unsafe, and many other things that I always kept quiet and wanting for him to improve , yea, he is trying very hard, however I feel I am done, I don’t care anymore,
But I can’t stop feeling guilty for wanting to separate, he has told me that I am selfish, and he does not deserve all this.

Yes I feel terrible guilty and sad because I once loved him.

We still living together, and making even worse for me,

This house he bought before meeting me so I believe I should leave? - all my kids stuff are here… I don’t think he will
Leave and make my life easy.

However since I am the one who I will have them most of them time, is he the one to leave?

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Since he bought it before you, I’m assuming only his name is on the mortgage? If that it the case, I don’t think you would have any legal right to it and if you went to court they would make you leave.

Unless you signed a prenup, that house belongs to you both.

I pretty much helped to kind of renovate this house, with our money combined. Not sure if that counts something, however I kind of feel leaving since he kind of says, it is not fair he has to leave when I am to divorce and this is his house for a very long time. I guess it is what it is. Thank you ladies

I hope you're able to get something back financially for the money you spent helping him renovate the house, since it probably helped raise the house's value. But it's hard for any of us to say because these things vary so much from state to state.

If you're going to leave your husband just because you fell out of love, then you should leave and find your own space.

I'm assuming he will still have some custody of the children so their stuff can remain there.

the way he treated me throughout our marriage, not listening to me when I said stop screaming or making me feel inferior and more other things caused me to feel this way.

I guess I am protecting myself and my health to decide this, and it actually took me 2 years to come to this decision.

Thank you

I pray you're able to find healing and peace. Good luck ❤️

For the sake of peace it's easier to walk away honestly. I know exactly how you feel and that guilt you feel is misplaced as I'm learning. Never feel guilty for choosing you, choosing your mental wellbeing or happiness by ridding yourself of toxic relationships. Guilt kept me 'stuck' and emotional blackmail pulled me back. Leaving with the clothes on my back and relinquishing it all means the only thing we have to discuss is contact with the children.
All attachments become an avenue of control.

thank you Anita, this is exactly what my therapist told me last night, we overthink our decisions, we feel guilty and sad because at the end we are experiencing a loss and all this it is new to me.

It's a loss of the old you.....like shedding to unveil the new skin, the true you and this place you are in will subside I promise you. You'll start finding joy in the simplest of things that toxic environment obscured. You are in your caterpillar phase....once you complete this leg of the journey you'll emerge with wings, exploring new heights! I'm 7months into my solo walk after an 11year relationship......I've found a happier space..... I'm still taking everything day by day as challenges keep on emerging. But I no longer feel pity for him or myself and my next step is to start planning for the future and begin the legalities(I'm only just strong enough to consider facing it).

The hardest part you have done, saying it aloud that you deserve better and it's over.

Get a lawyer consult scheduled asap but if he bought before even meeting you, it’s his house unless he added you as an owner on the deed.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

He has no respect for anything to do with me.

Husband and I decided to separate 3 days ago. I've been sleeping on the floor in the kids room, and we both have to stay in the same apartment for a while. He wont stop pushing little things and I am reaching my limit. Photos in comments