falling out of love

is it normal to feel like you don’t want to be with your baby daddy/ boyfriend anymore after a baby? cause i can’t tell wether it’s my hormones or i genuinely don’t want to be with him anymore… it’s always one problem after the other especially when it comes to money it’s like he can’t deal with it properly like he’s got no control over his own money and stuff around the house just doesn’t get done unless i do it and his clothes are everywhere and his shoes and he got new clothes bought for him and they’re screwed up on the floor already with the tags on like are you joking… i also don’t know how to tell him to sort his personal hygiene out cause he just never showers anymore or brushes his teeth and my family and friends have noticed and mentioned it to me so it’s embarrassing for me too and it’s just a whole round major case of the ick now.
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Is this behavior new? Because some of it sounds like depression and if it’s not normal for him then it could have been triggered by baby’s arrival. However if he’s always been like this then I don’t think it’s really much of a surprise that you’re feeling the way that you do :( it exhausts you more post baby because you have an actual child to look after without the man child expecting you to tidy up after him too xx

I won't lie I'd just come out and tell him. Be honest and say look you're lack of self care ability right now mixed with my exhaustion of having to care for this new child is too much for me right now and you need to be an adult and help or get help You're supposed to be my partner not another child for me to care for. So step up or step back and we can Co parent from 2 different places where your personal hygiene won't be my problem 😅 last bits a bit harsh but it could be the baby blues mixed with his drop in care and effort which is amplified to you because you're exhausted. You feel everything your baby does and want to have that partner in this. I'd snitch to his mum 😅 but that's just me. PPD is real and it's huge and feels like you're all alone. He needs to be your guiding light in these moments not the thing that sets you off and if it's not PPD then it's a direct effect of his lack of support. Either way man needs some books and some classes and a kick up the butt. X

I just told my partner I want him to move out for similar reason plus a few extra more serious, depression is definitely not a contributing factor here though because he was like this before baby arrived and I gave him plenty of opportunity to get his act together. You should rule out depression as the lack of hygiene is a red flag. But if this is how he always was and having a baby hasn't kicked him up the arse 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m having a similar issue for some reason around the time I got pregnant (and I didn’t even kno I was pregnant) I started no longer liking my boyfriend I felt like it was the hormones and it would change once I had the baby but it hasn’t I jus completely interest in him and I find him annoying 80% of the time and he’s so supportive and a really involved dad so I feel bit bad but for some reason he’s so irritating to me

@Andrea i relate to that i can’t lie, this just doesn’t help adding to it x

Ik it sucks I wish I could say I could help but I try to focus on our relationship as friends and more often now it feels like before the baby and we laugh and talk and just have a good time and feel like best fiends again but there is that underlying annoyance that I can’t help but feel

My baby daddy was like this. I left so fast it’s not even funny. Wouldn’t shower or brush his teeth, could go days without toilet paper, clothes reworn for weeks on end even with the washer and dryer right outside our bedroom door, refused to get anything or help with getting stuff for the baby including extra anatomy scans or gas to and from appointments but would spend $100s on comics the same day, never did dishes, “wouldn’t notice” food growing mold that he sat there weeks ago. The list goes on… I snapped and had enough mid pregnancy and dipped tf out. I couldn’t handle it, and I wasn’t doing it with a new baby too. If you leave it’s valid, if you’ve not said something I vote say something first, but regardless it’s not okay. At all. I wish you the best deary.

In my experience no, my love for him only grew exponentially. But it sounds like your husband needs to pull up his britches and start being more active on his hygiene and household cleanliness. You'll have to just tell him bluntly.

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