falling out of love

is it normal to feel like you don’t want to be with your baby daddy/ boyfriend anymore after a baby? cause i can’t tell wether it’s my hormones or i genuinely don’t want to be with him anymore… it’s always one problem after the other especially when it comes to money it’s like he can’t deal with it properly like he’s got no control over his own money and stuff around the house just doesn’t get done unless i do it and his clothes are everywhere and his shoes and he got new clothes bought for him and they’re screwed up on the floor already with the tags on like are you joking… i also don’t know how to tell him to sort his personal hygiene out cause he just never showers anymore or brushes his teeth and my family and friends have noticed and mentioned it to me so it’s embarrassing for me too and it’s just a whole round major case of the ick now.

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Is this behavior new? Because some of it sounds like depression and if it’s not normal for him then it could have been triggered by baby’s arrival.
However if he’s always been like this then I don’t think it’s really much of a surprise that you’re feeling the way that you do :( it exhausts you more post baby because you have an actual child to look after without the man child expecting you to tidy up after him too xx

I won't lie I'd just come out and tell him. Be honest and say look you're lack of self care ability right now mixed with my exhaustion of having to care for this new child is too much for me right now and you need to be an adult and help or get help You're supposed to be my partner not another child for me to care for. So step up or step back and we can Co parent from 2 different places where your personal hygiene won't be my problem 😅 last bits a bit harsh but it could be the baby blues mixed with his drop in care and effort which is amplified to you because you're exhausted. You feel everything your baby does and want to have that partner in this. I'd snitch to his mum 😅 but that's just me. PPD is real and it's huge and feels like you're all alone. He needs to be your guiding light in these moments not the thing that sets you off and if it's not PPD then it's a direct effect of his lack of support. Either way man needs some books and some classes and a kick up the butt. X

I just told my partner I want him to move out for similar reason plus a few extra more serious, depression is definitely not a contributing factor here though because he was like this before baby arrived and I gave him plenty of opportunity to get his act together. You should rule out depression as the lack of hygiene is a red flag. But if this is how he always was and having a baby hasn't kicked him up the arse 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m having a similar issue for some reason around the time I got pregnant (and I didn’t even kno I was pregnant) I started no longer liking my boyfriend I felt like it was the hormones and it would change once I had the baby but it hasn’t I jus completely interest in him and I find him annoying 80% of the time and he’s so supportive and a really involved dad so I feel bit bad but for some reason he’s so irritating to me

i relate to that i can’t lie, this just doesn’t help adding to it x

Ik it sucks I wish I could say I could help but I try to focus on our relationship as friends and more often now it feels like before the baby and we laugh and talk and just have a good time and feel like best fiends again but there is that underlying annoyance that I can’t help but feel

My baby daddy was like this. I left so fast it’s not even funny.

Wouldn’t shower or brush his teeth, could go days without toilet paper, clothes reworn for weeks on end even with the washer and dryer right outside our bedroom door, refused to get anything or help with getting stuff for the baby including extra anatomy scans or gas to and from appointments but would spend $100s on comics the same day, never did dishes, “wouldn’t notice” food growing mold that he sat there weeks ago. The list goes on…

I snapped and had enough mid pregnancy and dipped tf out. I couldn’t handle it, and I wasn’t doing it with a new baby too. If you leave it’s valid, if you’ve not said something I vote say something first, but regardless it’s not okay. At all. I wish you the best deary.

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do