calling her self mama

my mil calls herself mama for my step son witch is gonna be hard to get to stop cause im not actually his mom and his mom only wants him on holidays so she never says anything but anyways she’s starting to call herself mama to my daughter and she will call me by my name to her idk what to do it just so frustrating and i dont want to get to the point where i dont want my daughter seeing her like she will with my fil (long story) i know we are trying to move out soon and we are bringing my stepson with me witch is going to be a big change cause she insisted on him sleeping with her (tomorrow he will be starting to stay in our room) sorry im really bad at using punctuation my brain doesn’t understand it

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he always says he will but never does

Have you tried saying something to her yourself? Next time she does it just be persistent with calling yourself momma or mommy infront of them… how strange

Girl that is genuinely weird as hell & would make me VIOLENTLY uncomfortable. I would refer to her loudly & clearly in front of her as “mawmaw” “grandma” or whatever term yall want the kiddos to use when referring to her. & if I heard her saying it in front of me i would just politely say “hey please don’t call yourself that to him i really don’t want him getting confused.” It doesn’t need to be a whole conversation.

I would also get on my husbands behind RQ if i asked him to address it and he didn’t.

That's weird and I'd say something. My mil kept referring to my son as "my baby" as in hers and we got tired of telling her to knock it off so we started yelling at her over it. I'm not ok with being around them right now because of things that happened during my pregnancy and after he was born

You can do a couple things.

1. You can be passive in when you have your daughter call yourself mama to her and when you are around your MIL, give her a name lets say Nana. Oh here is NANA and just be EXTREMELY consistent with it everytime she is in the room with your daughter.

2. You can be frank with her. Tell her, I know due to the situation with step son you were able to refer yourself as mama to him, however with MY daughter I am not comfortable with this amd will need you to pick another name tobe refered as. I need my daughter calling me and understanding I am her mother and that you are her grandmother. You need to refer to me as mama with her and yourself as another name such as Nana or another name meaning grandmother. And if sje gives push back you need your Husband to step in and have your back. He needs to let his mom know she is being disrepectful to his wife and is not behavior you all will tolerate.

That’s tough! Have you considered correcting her by simply it by simply saying Memaw (Her Name). You can refer to yourself as mama and the MIL with a form of grandma and her name.

I would be very straight and clear here. "I am mom for **daughter's name** and you are grandma (or whatever name she has)". If she doesn't respect that, you say it again. If she keep doing it, I would go low contact.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

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