Toddler has a very negative attitude towards aunty

My sister absolutely adores my little one, now 2 years old daughter. Aunty lives almost 2 hours away from us so we don’t see her regularly but we try to keep in touch over the phone and have occasional visits. Aunty loves seeing my little one and has a very positive energy around her, talks to her lovingly and buys her gifts and tells her stories, tries in every way to connect with her.
But my daughter has a resistance towards her, she often says - no aunty! And hits her, or says go away! There are some positive moments, and often when aunty is not around my little one mentions her, but as soon as we are on video call or physically near each other she just rejects her, hits her and tells her to go away. Doesn’t want to cuddle. I can see my sister is hurt by it, but she tries not to show it. I just don’t understand it?! Any ideas how to make it better?

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My sister lives in a different country to us and my daughter has only seen her twice, once at 6 months and once at a year. She is now 2y7m and we go out in 3 weeks to see her, her family and kids and my mum and dad (all the same in terms of when we last saw them). So I get your situation and feel for you all as I would be the same. I have a nice and nephew abroad too and have been in your sisters shoes.

I would try to make the calls fun and silly. Nothing forced. If she doesnt want to talk then dont make her and tou and your sister talk, ask if she wants to talk, do silly faces and silly things with her etc. My daughter always asks for my sister or my dad in calls because they make silly faces or do silly things. She rarely asks to talk to my mum because we always talk to my mum but also because my mum doesnt react or do the silly stuff back really. Kids love that. The sillier the better. That might work. The more forced aomething feels the more they don't want to do something.

No ideas, just here to learn. My LO is 6 months and my SIL just came for a visit. Our baby cried every time auntie tried to hold her. Made her sad so I’d love to avoid that at her next visit when she turns one 🤞🏼She lives far away so more visits aren’t in the cards.

Just an idea, she might be thinking when mommy is with this person, mommy isn’t giving me attention or she doesn’t feel included and maybes that’s why in person and on the phone she tells her to go away?

If this maybe a reason for her to act out, talk to her like saying “mommy and aunty love you very much”, “when aunty is around, I am still here for you, we can still do fun things!”

Can do a three way hug as soon as your sister visits, that way your daughter can feel included and not left out.

Another thing you can do is when she hits your sister, physically show you’re consoling your sister and she might understand then that what’s she doing won’t get positive attention.

Maybe it's because she knows she doesn't get to see her as much as she likes & doesn't want to get too attached to her because she knows that your sister isn't going to be around for long when she does visit. Children prefer to see people in the flesh rather than on the phone, I find.

I live 5 hours away from my dad and sister but we try to see each other at least once a month (for weekend stays) and FaceTime a couple of times a week. When I FaceTime I’m in the same room as my toddler but not encouraging her to join in the phone call, so if she wants to see my sister she can, but if she wants some distance there’s nothing stopping her. She normally smiles and waves and then disappears off with her toys. When we’re in person I make sure my daughter gets to warm up to people if she’s not feeling it, but over time she’s seeking out my sister and playing with her.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

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