Does your man play video games when your kids are awake?

My husband went to pick up my kids from preschool while I stayed home with the baby to make dinner and he basically walked through the door stopped to try the chicken I made and hopped on the computer. Also note his desk is in the dining room since it's the biggest room in the house, and he's got his headphones on taking to his friends, weed pen, sake, and vape on the desk and my daughter went up to play with him and he told her he was in the middle of something. He's also her step dad. He doesn't usually do this but has been the past couple days. I told him to hop off and hangout with the kids and he said he literally just got on and will hang out with them later when they watch a movie in their room.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

Yes, he works a 10 hour day to provide financially so after work he deserves a little time to play and relax but he also makes time for our kids, helps with bedtime. So I don't mind he also doesn't mind stopping and helping me with things if I need him while he plays.

“do you let your man” is an interesting choice of words.

My husband doesn’t while our son is awake ever

Imo I would ask him to acknowledge, greet, and chat with the kids for a minute before he gets online. He should be able to unwind but nurturing the kids comes first

sometimes but if our daughter wants to sit with him while he plays he always lets her. he usually plays stuff like minecraft or mario so it’s nothing inappropriate for a toddler. he doesn’t talk to friends when she’s awake though

honestly my husband hasn’t turned his PlayStation on since I was pregnant. If he’s home 9/10 he’s playing with our son. The only time he isn’t really is if he’s taking a shower or outside doing a side job for extra money. He believes I should be able to have down time to myself since I’m alone with our son most of the day.

He had all day to do wtv he wanted and when they are home finally its a “later kids” um no im sorry but kids will remember when they get older who was there for the moments of playing w their toys n whatnot but the adult dismissing it will say a lot as they grow imo, im hoping its just a few off days personally and something else is going on

No but i kind of let him figure it out on his own. I told him i was uncomfortable with him playing games while the kids are awake because we dont screens during the day for our kids. My 3yo gets 20-30 minutes at night. Anyways I left him with the kids and after a few times of them going apeshit because he was trying to play while they were awake he stopped. He now plays once they're asleep which I could care less with how hard he works at his job and around the house.

Yeah we both do. But thats after dinner is made, baths and everyone is chill for the night

Like my son is now asleep. Im playing video games and my daughter just got her sleep medicine and shes watching blippi. Everyone is calm.

Yes. My daughter plays video games after dinner and asks my husband for help when she sees an enemy it’s so cute.
He doesn’t play on his own when the kids are awake because he wants to spend time with them or he knows I’m exhausted and wants to let me have a break

No only when they’re in bed

Playing a video game is totally different than having a weed pen, sake and a vape pen out. Those are extremely dangerous to do around a child and to leave out. My hubby is a gamer and I would not be happy if he played video games at dinner time instead of connecting with our children but I would MURDER him if he dared to smoke or leave smoking paraphanelia around our children

Yes and it drives me INSANE. He literally will sit in his “office” half the day and while I take care of the baby, do chores around the house and WFH full time. If I ask him to interact with the baby instead of constantly staring at a screen (video games, watching phone videos, tv) he’ll either say he doesn’t know what to do with her or he’ll play with her for 5 min then put her down and go on his phone. It’s like having a toddler

My hubby only really plays when our daughter is in bed. Odd occasions when she's awake if we have a day at home and are splitting the time so he's having a hour or two to do his thing whilst I'm with our daughter then we switch.

My husband doesn’t and will not but he’s not a big gamer anyway. Typically he helps me with anything when he gets home from work. He does like to decompress in a bath but also offers me time to myself. Sometimes at night, he’ll play once we get the toddler down and I’m still trying to put baby down (she’s breastfed so I typically do it) but he also offers help if the baby is fighting it and he won’t play if we want to spend time together

I’m not a fan of online live play video games where you can’t pause them. I don’t like the violence and noise in the games like Call of Duty. Why are we hunting humans? I grew up playing Mario collecting coins and hopping up and down into green pipes.
After many conversations my husband rarely plays, and when he does it’s only at night and if the house is already clean.
Children don’t understand that adults need a break after work, you suck it up and hang out with the kids for a bit, eat dinner and then have alone time.

Only if he’s playing Mario or astrobot with my daughter. All other gaming is done after she’s asleep. If a parent is home all day then they can play while kids are at school but take a break for when they get home until they’re asleep. I would talk to him and say let’s start a new bedtime routine for the kids and set some boundaries. The weed and vape pen need to be away until after bedtime imo.

I would bring it up that you notice it’s a pattern and he needs to work on it if he cares about his family

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.