In this hypothetical situation: what would your partner have done?

Okay so your partner doesn’t eat much, he basically intermittent fasts all day until around dinner time. You are breastfeeding and need multiple meals a day. Today you were busy and only had a small breakfast around 10am. It’s 3pm, you announce you have low blood sugar shakes because you’re so hungry. You guys talk about grilling for dinner in 2-3 hours so you just have a small snack to hold you over. Around the time you would start grilling it’s decided y’all will wait until tomorrow. It’s now 8pm and no food has been made. You decide to pop some frozen chicken strips into the air fryer but before they’re finished you’ve got to start your baby’s night routine. Baby still needs to be rocked to sleep. Your partner takes the chicken out of the air fryer and eats his half in the living room while hollering “you gonna come eat?” While you’re actively rocking your baby to sleep. You don’t get to eat until 9:30pm. Wwyd?

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I tried! I had the lunch snack once I got home from being out all day expecting a big meal soon, then when that didn’t happen I started making the frozen food and couldn’t finish before baby needed to go to bed😅😅

I exclusively pumped and I ate a crap ton. My husband knew that I would be really rude if he made me wait for food.

Aw I’m sorry.
I know how frustrating this all can be.
I exclusively breastfed for 3 yrs.
I can see both sides to this but ultimately I’m going to land on your side with this one. Yes, you are responsible for your own body & to feed yourself. But this is under special circumstances.
He should’ve brought the food to you or popped his head in & let you know the chicken was ready & asked if y’all wanted to switch.
That’s what my hubby would’ve done.
He would’ve immediately taken baby from me and told me to go eat but if baby won’t go down with him I’m almost positive he would’ve laid there with me and fed me while I rocked baby. When you announced that you had the shakes he should’ve immediately asked what did you want to eat or said ok hold on let me make
you something.
This is something I had to quite literally teach my hubby. To basically be aware of me & attune to my needs. Having a baby is a learning curve in itself & learning to be of service to others is a huge learning curve.

For me its the yelling while you're actively trying to put baby to sleep, that would pmo so bad. I can understand the frustration too of saying y'all are gonna eat and then not making it and making something simple and then you have to eat cold food while he's eating it hot 🙃 that would be very irritating but I think id get over it by the next day ya know? Like it is what is, it was a badly planned night it happens🤷‍♀️

you’re right I suppose it was just a badly planned night. I suppose it upset me more than it should because this is just an ongoing pattern of inconsiderateness and selfish behaviors on his part, not a single event 🤔

If this isn't an isolated incident I can definitely understand why it would bother you so much. Have you tried doing like on your own nights? Like just plan for yourselves instead of going through making plans and canceling them. Also have you talked to him about the yelling while you're trying to put baby down? I mean honestly that part feels a bit like abuse to me. Maybe he's doing it and not thinking about the consequences you have to deal with? But if you've talked to him about it before that's messed up and inconsiderate at the very least

honestly we’re already separated and I just spend the weekends with him so he can get some time with our baby. Then stuff like this happens and I’m just reminded exactly why I left and am tired of coming back around. He says he’s “trying his hardest to fix things & win me back” yet…

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?

Toddlers

How often are your toddlers asking for food? My oldest who is 3 just finished a whole plate of food and not even 10 minutes later he’s requesting more food. I know he’s going through a growth spurt, but how do you respond to this.