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Stay At Home Mamas 🤍

Desperately need advice for my autistic son and discrimination from school

Okay I posted this on a autism group and got chewed out by know it all parents instead of support. Maybe I didn’t explain it correctly I was heated at the moment maybe I didn’t explain it correctly so imma try here and post it in order of events.

My son is 4 years old. He was receiving Early Intervention by our local regional center from one and a half to three he aged out at three during the final assessment they let me know he did not need an autism assessment in their eyes. They were gonna send me to my district for further evaluation for speech alone.

The school district did the speech evaluation due to a behavior. My son had during the evaluation. They recommended an autism evaluation. I said yes long story short they let me know level two wanted him to go full-time eight hours to special education at the time I didn’t want my son to go for eight hours to Preschool. I wanted him to grow at his own pace since we’ve been doing Early Intervention since he was one so I signed the IEP saying that we will not take it Right now. I took him to a private preschool. I had to pay out-of-pocket which was just daycare essentially

My son had a rough time in that daycare. He never aged out of his classroom because of potty issues he kept regressing. They kept him with the two-year-old class instead of his own because the teacher in the three year-old class did not want to change his diaper. Which is fine totally understandable. They let me know that I can request an IEP for the district that Preschool was in. Originally, I wanted to transfer my son to that district anyways where the Preschool was located. My mom lives in the area so I signed these documents. I want to say back in March the head of the Preschool hand delivered it to the district office.

I started the paperwork to transfer him from my home district to the district that I wanted where my mother lives where the Preschool was it took about a month longer than it needed to. I found out what school I was approved for after trying different schools that were full. This is for TK. I found out the school. He was going to a week before school started.

Back in late May, I took him to our local Children’s Hospital to get evaluated for speech. He also had a recommendation for evaluation for autism, but since the waiting time is about eight months, I decided just to do the speech right now that the waiting time was nothing was right away and then follow up with the autism assessment once it was our turn. They sent the evaluation results to both school districts since at the time I wasn’t sure what school district we were going to.

Both school districts received to evaluation both school districts were emailing each other back-and-forth. My home district has my sons original IEP plan. He had done at three and forwarded to the school district that I wanted him to go to.

Back in May as well I enrolled him in ABA therapy homebase took about three months to get him enrolled with Insurance approving hours all that waiting nonsense. His BT ended up quitting before even starting so we’ve been in the waiting for a new BT to get trained and sent to my son he hasn’t received any therapy yet, but he is enrolled in the program.

Before school started, I was able to get into contact with my son‘s teacher. I let her know he has some potty issues. We just had a baby so he had some regression on top of his speech delay and showing behaviors of hitting. Frustration, etc..

School starts has a bad day first day. He hit a teacher in a class classmate during recess. They took him to the office to let him calm down. They gave me a phone call. I asked what I can do. Do I need to pick them up? they said this is normal. Give it time to adjust . I received one other message from the teacher saying that he pinched an aid and caused the aid to bleed and bit another teacher both times is because he wanted to leave to go play in the playground and he wasn’t allowed to which of course is valid. I asked what I can do if there’s anyone we could talk to you like the school psychologist or the special education teacher, they let me know not to worry he’s gonna take time to adjust. They’re doing things for him to help him and I offered some help and sent in some items to his class to help regulate him.

The speech pathologist contacts me gives him paperwork for an IEP for speech and health. I signed the document Munday and she received it on Tuesday. Does IEP from my understanding would also cover any other issues. They might see if I understood how this IEP works. I was never against getting him help sending him to special education if he needs to I told them whatever would help my son is what I want to do. I did want to keep him in general at if possible if not, I’m OK with him having to move, I just wanted to give him a chance to see how he would do. It’s obvious that he’s having a difficult time which is fine. We can move him . No meeting was discussed. This was just a conversation I had outside of the classroom with this SP.

Friday comes along
I get a letter from the principal saying my son is no longer enrolled in their school due to not keeping positive behavior and my district transfer has been revoked. I asked why he said he has been showing aggression. I told him OK but he has special needs does that not count? He says I have no documentation of that And basically it felt like he said too bad so sad figure it out I was given no direction no reasoning no documentation of these incidents other than one phone call in a message.

I completely understand if the general education teachers cannot handle my son. I have apologized multiple times for his behavior and try my best to support them if they cannot handle my child is completely fine. I just don’t know why instead of kicking him out there wasn’t an emergency meeting and maybe sent to the special education class Also from my understanding that IEP for speech protect him from being essentially kicked out from school for showing aggression I have no hard feeling towards any teacher or any staff, but the principal did rub me the wrong way. He was very rude about it and showed no sympathy. It’s the second week of school. This is TK he’s four I understand that he shouldn’t be hitting, but he also doesn’t know that he can’t do that and can verbalize his needs on top of that. He never hits at home or pinches or bites so these behaviors are new to us as well. I am not defending my son’s actions. I am upset that the fact that no help was recommended and we were just kind of thrown aside.

Overall, we have that speech IEP I have that document in my possession signed by myself and the SP. Also, that other request for an IEP sent by the Preschool earlier this year I do not have a copy of that, but I will get it. I have a meeting with the superintendent to try to keep him in the district. I don’t know if I want to keep them in the same school , but I need him in the same district because his babysitter isn’t that district on top of that he gets ABA at that location in that town.

Any advice anybody can give me I am very confused. I am also so sorry for the long message.