Parental preference

Yes the taboo subject that us mums aren't really aloud to talk about, because it makes look a bit like we want to be the pereferance. My child who is nearly 3 has taken to her dad as parental preference and I know what people may say...but it's been really hard in multiple ways, shes completly refusing me, she refuses to come to the bath unless he sort of ushers her and she puts up eith me if he has to do something, bed time is all him she pushes me away, I tried to give her breakfast but she refused wanted her dad to do it, im starting to take it personally and it's so hard because I'm craving that connection, but im not forcing myself on her as she just cries and refuse my next option is treat it like it's not a big deal, im nervous about when he is not around because I feel like she generally doesn't want me around. Is there any other mums going through or been through this have any advise? And before I get negative comments, no I am not saying she can't be connected to her dad, I love that she loves her dad, I just can't help feeling like I've done something wrong.

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they go through stages. my 17 month old prefers me right now and my near 3 year old prefers his dad some days and me others

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You’re doing amazing and your kid loves you. My advice would be to connect through play. Play is how children connect and make sense in this world. The things you mentioned sound more like the usual routines feeding bathing and if she’s established preference already the first step is not to change routine but to connect. One on one playtime through pretend play, I got my daughter a toy doctor kit and she is my doctor while I pretend to be sick. She likes me to talk to her through her dolls and make conversations. Maybe get her favourite toy and ask her in a funny voice, do you want to play with me? My husband was not the preference for a while and she’d cry if I left her with him. He started playing more and more and now things are more balanced 🙏

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I completely understand. My 3 years old prefers dad and even says it out loud. I've tried spending more time with him, but apparently I'm not the fun parent 😅 I understand when you say you get nervous when dad is not around, but your connection with your kid will get stronger if you get some time just the two of you. That's what I'm trying. It's not easy, and hopefully just a phase. Hang in there! You're not alone ❤️

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I understand as my two year old has a strong preference for his dad and has been like this for quite a long time. When he goes through times like this when his preference is stronger I just try to play with him more.

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Sounds like your intuition is leading you the right way. You got this 🙏🩷

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Same boat here. My 3 year old daughter has preferred dad since she was 1. I wasn’t allowed to do bedtime for 2 years. It’s onto different at the moment as we all lay on our bed together for her to fall asleep but there was tears and lots of them if I tried to put her to bed prior to this. If she hurts herself and he’s home she goes to him and not me. I just hope one day she’ll switch or at least allow me to do more.

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Sahm .. the dad role .

Hi!! I’m 2 months pp. and I really would like your opinion on this situation if you have a moment.
So I have always had a job before the baby, and my bd .. not really. But 2 weeks before he was born he scored a really good job and I was able to be a sahm. Which is what I wanted , and I’m unsure if it’s still what I want or if the situation just isn’t right.
At first he was a great help in the hospital as I had an emergency c section. I was in the hospital for about a week and for most of that time I was in bed .
But after that.. I’m lucky if he will watch the baby while I shower .and I mean that seriously.
I am the only one who changes diapers, only one who bathes , feeds or watched him in general. And of course he may be tired after work but it’s like he completely avoids any responsibility. Like he will take a hour coming home and stop by his friends house otw . He will sit down stairs for hours knowing I won’t go down there bc I’m uncomfy . So I have the baby then.
We have been out maybe 2-3 times sense I had him & he refused to push the stroller c change or anything. In fact we got to the mall and said he needed to split up and I had the baby.
I feel he only wants the baby when it’s for … attention? Like to post the baby on social media or if his family is here he will take him .

I just feel like on days he doesn’t have work the next morning he should be helping , and if he is up early before work while I’m still sleeping he should get the baby instead of scrolling on reels for 3 hours .

Honestly he has really ruined my new born phase with my son. Within the first week of us being home I had to full on switch to survival mode I would call it. He would complain if dinner wasn’t done or if the room was a mess , he would complain if the diaper caddy had no diapers which really makes no sense bc he didn’t even changed the diapers . It was just everything.
I’m just wondering if there is anything I could say to get some type of help out of him.
I tried reaching out to his mother but honestly his hole family is oblivious to his behaviour.

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Guys I need help! This is going to be my daughter’s nursery and I want to make it cute. Help me find an aesthetic look or a good layout to place some furniture/cribs etc!!

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Should I respect his wishes??

I’ve been a SAHM for 4 years now and my husband does a great job providing for our family and we never need for anything. With that i still had to sacrifice some wants like shopping when I want getting my hair and nails done regularly so when I can I try to supplement for my wants and savings by selling my craft items at vendor markets and recently I’ve started donating plasma. Which has been consistent income for me. $125 twice a week. Well my husband has expressed that he doesn’t like me donating plasma. He feels like it’s not worth it to put my body through those conditions for $125. He even went out to sell one of his guns today and gave me all the money and told me “I shouldn’t have to donate plasma no more”. That was so sweet but I disagree. I planned on continuing to donate plasma to save for my kids birthdays thats coming up, a trip we have planned and our anniversary. I don’t know what to do. I finally found something that pays something consistently and my husband is against it. What should I do?

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Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

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