Letting work know child is sick

It’s some what rude, but Ive been at my job nearly 3 years and kind of expect a similar response from them especially if they want to be funny!

I’ve learned with work, even if you have good relations with managers - just do everything how they expect, don’t try and be extra nice and give heads up etc.

Just brush it off and call in the morning as per the message x

Wouldn't think too much into it ... Yes they could have said thank you for letting us know but can you contact us in the morning but I'd just message/call in the morning like they've said.

Some people are just funny about being contacted outside of working hours - I guess because it usually serves the person contacting rather than the person receiving the message. Don’t otherthink it, it could have been a more empathetic message but I would just follow what the policy says and call in the morning

Really rude! I’m similar to you and it actually happened to me this week where my little one started being sick throughout the night on Monday so I already had an alarm set for the morning and was able to text them and let them know I wouldn’t be in Tuesday. I was back in Wednesday but Wednesday evening I started being sick myself so I text my manager around 7pm Wednesday night to let her know I wouldn’t be working Thursday. Although it wasn’t the weekend it was still the evening and out of work hours (we work in a school) this gave her time to work out cover for me the following day but also meant there was no need for me to set an alarm the following morning knowing I had no reason to wake. I spent most the night awake being sick and was already exhausted without having to wake up early just to text and say I wouldn’t be in work for the day.

Always work a job with the mindset that they don't give a f about your kids or the fact that you're a parent. You're an employee to them first. Also helps to stay neutral to remain professional.

I can see your point but as a manager myself, flip and reverse it. Would you want a message about work on a Sunday?
Brush it off, ring in the morning and I hope your little one recovers quickly! Plenty of rest yourself when you can

I used to be an assistant manager. Do not contact me regarding work not in my working hours, also a text doesn’t count for anything, if you only text then it’s an unauthorised absence. You might see it as rude but you have to look at it from others points of view, your child isn’t really any of their concern, it’s a job to them and they have a business to run.

It was a bit short and if the first incident as a manager I would definitely have been more supportive and polite. However I've been in a job with X amount of colleagues reporting to me and if you don't shut down messaging outside of the reporting process and work hours it can quickly become a huge problem. Like if I got that message as a manager and wasn't even in the following day, what is the expectation, that I call in for the colleague in the morning? Pass the text on to another manager? If they are in, as much as it's not your fault and absence happens it's also not the best feeling as a manager to get a text late on a Sunday when you can't do much and then know you're going to be short the next day. It's ultimately your responsibility to report absence following company procedure, could the message have been kinder? Yes. Was it unreasonable? No.

Only time that I’ve messaged my boss out of work hours is when my daughter ended up in hospital. Otherwise I always message her or my manager in the morning before 7:30am as that’s when we open x

I respectfully text/email my supervisor and team the moment I know I won’t be able to make it in. Most daycares won’t accept children until 24-48 hours after vomiting so the instant my child vomits or has watery stool I know we’re staying home (single mom so it’s obviously me staying home with her), and I send a respectful message (text/email or both) that I will be out due to my daughter’s illness & daycare policy. I have a ton of PTO and rarely ever take time off so when I do, everyone has been super supportive. I guess every workplace is different, and I have certainly had supervisors like the one you describe. Parenting is hard enough without that attitude.

Called in this morning to let them know and got another rude response from them and them telling me that I need to take my son to hospital because he's being sick. Also got told that they will see me tomorrow when my son is still being sick and his nursery policy is 48hours after the last bout of sickness/diarrhoea

Honestly I don't get it

I'm bit late here but to answer the original, yes they could of been more empathetic about it but the policy is there for a reason. As someone who had to deal with this from the other side, it was very frustrating not knowing who was off and why or how long expected etc because someone had text in their excuses and not phoned the work place and then the person they'd text hadn't been in work to log it. We had to put a stop to it and everyone got the same generic this is the policy text after that. It was the policy all along just people let it slip and it spiralled.

However their response to you this morning also seems rude. They don't get to tell you your son needs to go to hospital nor do they get to make you feel bad for needing to be a mother first. I've witnessed and know in some situations why this may happen but it is still wrong imo because of those time it happens to legit people and hurts.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time right now and hope your LO feels better soon

Honestly, I’d document and escalate to situation to HR if it were me. I assume you have the PTO/sick leave to cover the time off? That and you gave them advanced notice even if it was not well received. Your daycare’s policy is consistent with most daycares, so that is out of your control. What is in your control is how you respond to the inappropriate pressure to return to work when your child is ill. Be professional but enlist the support of HR. You have the right to take time off to care for your sick child and the right to do so without the negative attitude and pressure to return to work before your child is healthy. Having previously had a narcissistic and controlling supervisor vs. the incredibly supportive one we have now, I have zero tolerance for the manipulation and toxicity they bring to the work place. As I said before, parenting is hard enough without the added stress of a toxic supervisor. Keep us posted- I’m invested now 😉

Also, it would be totally reasonable to request your child be seen by a doctor after 3 days, but no parent can afford to take their child to doctor/hospital after <24 hrs of illness. And no ER/hospital wants you to waste their resources with a stomach bug, unless the child is severely dehydrated or running exceptionally high fever of course . Most just take time to run their course. Be receptive & willing to take your child in if there is no improvement after 48 hours. That is standard for most employers. Mine required a doctor’s note after 3 days, which is totally reasonable. Your supervisor is just trying to punish you for taking time off which is entirely in your right as a parent to take. I’d respectfully contact your HR & ask for clarification regarding the workplace policy for requesting PTO/sick leave for illness (you or child) lasting 24-72 hrs or more (when is doctor’s note required?) and let them know your being pressured to return to work before daycare will take child back.

Also worth noting we can't see where you're from so advice above is good but may vary based on location. For example in England you self certify for 7 days and time off should be classed as parental leave or time off for dependent and not count towards your sickness record if I remember my union stuff right (it's been a few years)

Thanks everyone for the advice. I suffer with anxiety as it is and it was very hard for me to go back to work and now this has made my anxiety go through the roof x

I'd be intrigued to know where you work, if it's a big company or small business for example because they're displaying quite a lack of basic management knowledge. I don't see a problem with the message last night but the demand to take your child to hospital is ridiculous. Parental leave is generally unpaid in the UK so it's not even costing them anything. Did you get a handbook when you started? I'd locate their policy in that so you know your rights and can quote to them their own policy if needed.

A school should definitely know better! I'd contact them by phone now and say that your son's nursery has said about the 48 hour rule so you definitely won't be in tomorrow and will call with an update on how he's doing to get an idea of when you're back. Then you don't have to worry about the text later, you've done what you need to do. Did you get a log in for a staff site? A lot of handbooks are digital now and can be found via logging in to a company webpage and searching policies.

I've been a manager and know it can be a pain when people go off sick or have a sick child BUT your responsibility as a manager is to trust your employees, understand that these things happen, and be understanding and supportive when they do. Places have poor attendance and employee retention when management acts like this so it's not even in the company's best interest! The tiniest bit of power can go to people's heads.

Ask them for the sickness policy or look around when you're next in. To me this doesn't fall under sickness, it's authorised absence/parental leave, it's usually unpaid and won't count towards sickness leave for yourself so if I were you I'd confirm what the absence has been recorded as so you know where you stand.

This is so curt and rude🫠

I can’t believe how many people are siding with the manager on this one! Now realise how lucky I am to have the manager that I do who goes out of her way to message me even out of her working hours to check in on myself and my little one when we were off unwell. I personally don’t think you done any harm . As someone who spent one night last week awake being sick myself and cleaning up my little ones sick too I really didn’t want to worry about setting an alarm early in the morning just to text my manager and let her know I wouldn’t be in. Hope your all feeling better x