Does your husband/partner throw things when angry?

If he doesn't have a plan or take any actionable steps towards working on it, I would start making plans to be prepared to leave

If he does, he needs anger management classes and you need to leave

Absolutely not. And if my husband ever did do this, then I would be out of the house that day (or more likely I would make him leave and stay somewhere else) and we would not be under the same roof until he had a plan in place and stuck to it (therapy and 1st session gone to) with the expectation that if he did not keep up with the therapy until the issue was completely resolved he would be leaving again. My own safety and my kids safety comes before anything else.

i have seen this behavior in my abusive father. throwing things when angry can be a good way to get rid of that energy, but it needs to be done in a controlled manner, like both of you decide that these specific objects (maybe dog toys or something) can be thrown at this specific wall and you both have to be on the same page that that’s what’s going on. so maybe like, when he’s getting angry he can say “i need to throw something” and you can give him something that won’t break, and he can throw it at something that won’t break, he can scream and whatever he needs to do to get that energy out. that’s fine and healthy. but just throwing things recklessly could very likely turn into throwing things near/at you/your kids and be physically abusive.
also he should absolutely be in therapy. if he refuses to go to therapy i would leave with the kids until he starts therapy.

Is it normal no..have I seen this yes it was a very common thing I witnessed my dad and uncles do when frustrated. If they were working on something that was giving them a hard time a tool would go flying along with choice words. My husband has also said his dad would do it too. But it shouldn't be normalized

My husband would never but I do 😬 I have never and would never do it in front of my kids and I'm working on it in general. I'm obviously biased but I don't think it's the end of the world and at least in my case doesn't feel like it's tied to violence towards people at all, it's just a release. But it's immature and something that needs to be worked on.

that is no excuse, that “men through things when they are mad” no one should through things period. It’s not even good for your kids to see as an example… he needs some help

Personally I have thrown things in extreme anger rather than attack someone as has my husband. 90% of the time we never get to that crazy heated point. Neither of us however have put our hands on each other, plus we figure its healthier than yelling (in getting out the negative buildup of energy so we dont feel pent up and can talk easier) we never throw things towards each other or anything that can break. But I might be a pinecone here 😅

You are very lucky you have seen different behaviour from your male role models to allow you to recognise your husbands behaviour as a red flag. It is not ok. From the time you are uncomfortable it is not ok for him to continue and not be prepared to learn better coping mechanisms. His behaviour is also what your kids will see if it continues and they may not be as lucky as you to have the right role models to realise it’s not okay. You could ask your dad or brothers how they cope when angry but do not tolerate this. We all have emotions but how we handle them matters.

Throwing things out of anger is a sign of underdeveloped emotional intelligence and regulation. No it is not "normal" for an adult man to throw things like that, nor should it ever be considered as much. I also don't agree that it is healthy or normal to have heated fights and arguments in a relationship to begin with. Disagreements, sure. With healthy communication. You can even be mad at each other. But it should never reach the point of yelling, screaming, being hurtful, extreme anger, or violent outbursts. That's so awful and toxic, and I truly think we've been be scammed by society into accepting it as a normal part of relationships. It is not. Period.

My man has rarely ever gotten angry at me or the kids let alone throw things. One day if he’s really angry he wouldn’t know where he’s throwing it and it’ll accidentally get you, then what? There’s no excuse. Other men have hobbies where they can release their negative energy and pent up frustrations in life. Golfing, for example. Whacking the golf club is therapy for a lot of men. Same as fishing- throwing out fishing lines far takes energy and is a stress reliever. Some men hunt. Shoot birds. Shoot arrows. Indoor shooting ranges. Motorbike riding. (The adrenaline) Dirtbike riding. Bowling even. Rock climbing. Can you think of a hobby that he might wanna do, that can help him release pent up stress?? Darts even. Maybe suggest something he can do once a week as physical therapy (but don’t tell him that, just suggest it see what he says) I think we all need a hobby that’s also an outlet that we enjoy and can be a form of disguised therapy. Maybe get him a dart board for Xmas.

So he accepts that it is a problem but he isn’t trying to fix the problem? Is he just gonna keep throwing things then? It sounds like he doesn’t care about the consequences of his actions.

Maybe when you can tell he is getting angry. You can pause the conversation and just say I can see we are both upset I am going to leave/go to room/ ect and we can discuss this later. Sets a boundary that if he is raising his voice or any angry behavior you can exit conversation before it escalates. If this isn’t his typical behavior maybe he is stressed out and unable to have a difficult conversation. Not saying that the conversation shouldn’t be said but maybe just taking a break will let him gather his thoughts. Or sometimes even writing each other old fashion notes if verbal discussions get too heated.

My EXs yes nd it’s a big red flag my current husband nope he never even yelled at me

I don’t think this should be normalized. It’s reckless and he could damage the house or hurt someone unintentionally.

If he’s expressing awareness that his anger is becoming a problem then the next time is probably to seek help for it whether that be professional or some other outlet.

👋
no sir!

it always escalates my ex did this then hit me

My husband has before (never at me or our child) (mostly his phone) but he’s been in therapy recently and been doing a lot better. I struggle sometimes too when I get so angry I can’t control myself so I understand how hard it can be to not throw or slam the door or something like that. I wouldn’t say it’s something to leave over unless it’s escalating but there should be some sort of game plan for him to learn how to control his anger better and safer

I think his avoiding to get help on this. He needs to come to terms this is not healthy he needs to find other ways to release anger. My husband usually goes to another room to release his anger or to get peace. His never chucked things but I know some guys do when they reach breaking point. The good thing is he has never been violent towards you or the kids. I also had a friend whose husband used to do this until later I hear he got physical with her but every guy is different.

My partner did at the start of our relationship but he has come a long way since then in a lot of aspects! He hasn’t done in around a year and half or so and do only throw items 3 times? The most recent was when he sliced his foot open on a treadmill he threw my broom and cracked it. They are able to stop these behaviours and will be willing to work on them and if not then I’d leave. It’s so unattractive and childish for a grown man to shout and throw items it makes me cringe now