Dreading to go to my husbands parents house bc his brother who is 11

Is a very bad behaved boy. I hate him being around my son it’s gives me stress and anxiety. Do you have a family member on your boyfriend or husbands side who gives you stress and anxiety and has to be around your son or daughter. How do you deal with it

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Yeah, I have. I basically stay with my kids 24/7 whenever they’re playing with their cousins. never in a million years would I let my kids play in a room or any space without me supervising. My husband agrees, so we make sure we see the cousins as little as possible (maybe once every three months).

Once, I heard this boy swear and make fun of his own mum, and I told him off straight away in front of my kids. I then physically took my children back to the car. I’m raising my kids to be respectful and well-mannered, but sadly the parents don’t seem to think there’s anything wrong with that behaviour.

Yes! My boyfriend’s 12 year old niece, her attitude and behaviour is disgusting. Shes a bully, she swears in every sentence and has no respect for anyone. The best part is her mom and Nan - as that’s who she lives with - allow it and just laugh it off. I’ve watched her grow up for ten years and she use to be such a sweet little girl, but I guess that’s what happens when you have role models like hers🙃 but yeah, I won’t leave my toddler in the same room as her alone, I don’t trust her one bit. She’s always trying to go out of sight with him which I find weird anyway. My ‘MIL’ always try’s to question us when we tell her to stay in sight with our son, trying to make excuses for her but I don’t listen and I don’t care, I know who I can and can’t trust, and my boyfriends family are people I definitely can’t trust. I don’t allow any of them to have my sons alone, I get shit talked for it but I trust my instincts😅

You and your hubby need to have clear boundaries with both kids about the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior, and what your expectations are. Its not unreasonable for his parents to actually PARENT their child so you don't have to remove yourselves. State at the beginning of the visit that if things with his brother get out of control, your family unit is leaving. You are NOT obligated to show up just because they're family. And absolutely get on the same page with hubby about this.

Yes my husbands step brothers daughter, he still lives at home with his spouse daughter and son. I avoid my mother in laws home at all cost because of this and when we ask for her to help with child care we ask for it to be in our home. She doesn’t get corrected ever , watches violent and scary shows on her tablet my kids aren’t allowed to do so. She has also gone to the extent of touching their but in front of her parents and nothing was said . I told her she needed to stop because she wouldn’t like it if they did it back and her parents would also be mad. I told her she had to learn to respect herself as a young girl so others could respect her. My mother in law wasn’t happy I said that and gets upset I won’t allow my daughter around her because of this. At the end I told her technically the little girl isn’t related to any of my kids so if she can’t accept my boundaries that’s okay she will also loose access to my children so she has calmed down on pressing me about the subject.

Yes! My husband’s grandmother. Shes very old school. Believes I should not only be working full time but cleaning and cooking by myself while my husband does nothing. She’s very blunt and isn’t afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings. I love her to death but she gives me so much anxiety.

Yea honestly it’s just stressful and I get bad anxiety going over. I know once we move out some things will get better. But it does suck like why couldn’t we just enjoy having our kids and going out living life and being happy and stress free. Just sucks that issues get tied to us.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

Calpol

My mum has just given my 4 year old calpol because he asked for it. He isn’t poorly (although was last week, been fine this week) he just likes the taste of it. My mum didn’t check, didn’t ask, just gave it to him and when I’ve questioned her she said “he asked for it”. Then quizzed 4 year old who said he asked for it because it tastes nice.

How would you react?