is anyone else dealing with a three-nager ? 🥴

my son has been in his toddler tantrums era since he’s been 18 months old, he turned 3 a week ago and it’s realllly turned up a notch 🫠
some days you can’t even reason with him, he’s just annoyed at everything 🙃

i brought it up to his childminder and she says he’s a saint whilst he’s with her / in her care (he goes three days a week), but when he comes home, i know tiredness plays a part in it, but he just seems angry & we can’t figure out why. she said it’s a sign that we’re bringing him up well as he feels comfortable to act out, but idk.
sometimes he’ll even tell us to go away when we try and sit him down to talk about his emotions etc…

i feel like i’m losing a battle with him, and i just want to help him but i don’t know how to 😔

is anyone else experiencing or have experienced this before? if so, i’d really appreciate any help or advice ☺️

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I feel like I could have written this myself. Our LB has always had a bit of a feisty personality but he’s 3 in Jan and the moods, tantrums, hitting, kicking etc have been awful! Whats helped a little is giving him 2 warnings when his behaviour is bad and then following through with whatever it might be eg taking away a toy. But I get you, it’s so hard! I’d love to hear how others have managed

I think a lot of us with 3 year olds are in the same boat, especially with boys. The child minder is right. Apparently they tend to leave all their worst behaviour for when they are at home with their parents. It means that their home & us are their safe space, so they feel comfortable to let all their emotions out with us. You are doing a good job mama. Keep going 💪

THIS

I have this with my 3 year old little girl

Only advice I really can give (forgive me if it doesn’t apply) is to pray over him while he is asleep, awake & away from you. Speak what you want to see & also mimic those behaviors. Our kids see everything. We constantly on our phones ? They will wanna be. We’re constantly yelling or mad ? Then they will be that as well.

Sometimes my son wants some space when he's having big feelings, about 5 feet. Sometimes he doesn't want us to look at him, but looking off to the side is ok. Sometimes he'll want us to read him a book while he calms down. Comfort him in the way he prefers until he's calm enough to talk through his feelings. Narrate conflicts, label feelings, say what you think he wants to happen or not happen. Ask if he can repeat it back to you. Being able to actually hear himself say what he means/wants and see you respond will help a lot. When he can say "That's bothering me," "I don't like that," and "I want..." out loud, he won't have to tell you with his behavior as often.

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding