Nursery

I’ve been so against sending my toddler to nursery, I’ve said from day one he’s not going to nursery. But now I’m in two minds. I feel it might benefit him a lot and also be nice to make friends and just have fun throughout the day. But in the back of my mind I just have sooo much anxiety. I read so many stories of incidents happening in nurseries and I just think I’m trusting complete strangers with my child, who is my whole entire life!! I haven’t even left him with family yet for longer than an hour😭 and even that’s been my dad or my mom, no one else. And then my partner makes me feel bad as he wants our toddler to go nursery and he thinks me not letting him is quite spiteful. I just would never forgive myself if anything bad happened to him whilst in the care of someone else. I do really want to go back to work soon though, I do have an 8 month old too so I was going to wait until he’s 1 when I look at returning to working, and by then my toddler will be 3. So do I wait til he’s 3 and re think the situation then or shal I try find a nursery earlier on for him, for the new year maybe? Opinions please?

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I completely understand your anxieties its completely normal as a mum. If you find an amazing nursery that you have had recommendation’s then i would deff recommend it. It really will benefit your little one in so many ways. Also i would look at it in the long run, unless you plan on homeschooling then it really is best to allow your little one to integrate in to the ‘big’ world as soon as possible. I had a friend who didnt send her son into nursery and he started school as late as was allowed and he had a lot of separation anxiety and lacked the social skills to make friends and bond relationships at such an important time.

My daughters nursery is absolutely amazing she has been going since 9 months old, started at 1 day and then when she turned 2 she does an extra day. She runs in after kissing me goodbye sits at the breakfast table and doesnt even look back! Get updates throughout the day pf what they have eaten nappy changes nap times and the occasional photo!

When i pick her up she runs out with the biggest smile (clothes in a absolute mess) but thats a sign of a good day haha. Tells me what her and her best friend done which is usually hold hands and cuddle and kiss and jumping 🥹

You will see such a big difference, and it will give you a bit of me time xxx

My little boy has been at nursery since he turned 2 in May (was at childminder before that).
He loves it - at drop off he is still quiet and a bit sad but they’ve sad he cheers up instantly once we’re out of sight. And you can’t get him out of the place at pickup. At home he talks about his little friends and his key worker.

We’re really lucky that our nursery has a lot of outdoor space and animals, so he gets to do lots more there than he would being at home.

Most nurseries do taster days, so you can have a good look round and meet the staff before which helps massively. Also if a nursery has a waiting list thats normally a good sign! And you will notice a massive improvement in your little boys speech they will pick so much up from the staff and the other children. Its blown my mind how quickly my little ones speech has come on! I would recommend you do your homework and go and visit some nurseries and see what you think! You may be really suprised! Good luck! Xx

Both my girls started nursery from the age of 2, go and view them and get a feel of the staff working there. I absolutely adore my nursery, they are the nicest staff ever and both my girls run in so happy to go and play and make mess etc, they come out so happy too. I think it’s beneficial for children to be around others from a young age so I’d never want to prevent my children from missing out on all that early learning.
My eldest is in reception now and my youngest is in nursery, she’s learning her phonics now and we’re loving her early learning journey x

We are also in the same predicament, childcare has always been with me, my husband or family. Im now on maternity leave a second time now so have him full time alone with my new baby.

Im actually taking a view that we will never get time time back with them, we can mould them and shape them how we want to. We do get out though everyday and are around other children often, hes actually a really confident boy and learning nicely to make friends. Were going to start some more structured classes early next year (football/gymnastics) so he has more exposure to listening and learning in a group environment. Then our intention is to start pre-school next year part time so he has some more exposure before big school!

I’d put him in a lovely nursery now and enjoy a little 1 on 1 time with your youngest for these last few months before you return to work.

My 3 year old loves nursery. This week they visited a living nativity at a nearby church meeting animals then a fire engine visited to teach them about emergency vehicles. She has so many friends and party invites, she gets “homework” to get her ready for school, she has so many more experiences offered there than I can offer at home with another baby here.

Let him get settled in before you return, give him some time without his parents and siblings to grow into himself, give your baby some quality time and also give yourself a minute to breathe and do YOU things xxx

It will do him the world of good and will make the transition easier when he eventually goes to school. Our son has been going for over a year and he loves it, though he does get shy occasionally it gave him the confidence he needed

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I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

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My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.