My boyfriend tries to keep me awake all night

I am someone who needs a lot of sleep. I got to bed around like 9-10pm and wake up between 6:30-7am.

My boyfriend has insomnia and all night long he tries to wake me up for sex. When he wakes me up, I’m annoyed and not in the mood at all. I try having sex before I go to bed, but he doesn’t want it then. He gets really frustrated and upset when I don’t want to wake up and jump straight into sex. Sometimes I do agree to do it, but I’m tired and not as into into, which also makes him mad and he tell me it’s not good enough and I’m not trying, which honestly takes me out of it even more.

Now my boyfriend thinks we’re not sexually compatible anymore, but we are. If he’d just let me wake up naturally, I’d be all for the morning sex. Instead I come in and out all night and spend the whole day exhausted.

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Sounds like if he would just accept your boundaries you guys would be ok if someone told me not to wake them up I wouldn’t

It actually sounds like he’s right on this and you aren’t sexually compatible. He wants someone who enjoys being woken up abruptly for it, you are not that person.

Honestly if you’ve already told him you need to wake up naturally and waking you up at different hours of the night only exhausts you then he’s being seriously inconsiderate of your feelings. It’s got nothing to do with being sexually incompatible, he’s just selfish. He wants it when he wants it, not when you do and that’s the difference. I think if anyone should be trying sexually right now, is him. He needs to try harder to meet both of your needs at a sensible time. Messing around with sleep isn’t on and I completely understand how you feel. I spoke with my partner as he always leaves sex to the very last thing of the day even when we have time to do it earlier. Leaving sex till 1am isn’t on at all and my partner has taken it on board, understood that I won’t be in the mood at that time and he now just acts otherwise we won’t have sex. That’s the outcome. There have also been times where I’ve woken naturally in the night and so has he and we’ve both had sex. But again that’s with

Us both waking naturally. Him being an insomniac can be changed. And I think if he felt better rested on those nights, he’d probably meet your needs at more appropriate times. But him staying up all hours, he can’t expect you to be on the same schedule. It’s not fair and it’s an unrealistic expectation. What isn’t unrealistic is him getting the help he needs

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