I had the most awful experience today with my child and his tantrums (sorry for the long post)

We went to a Christmas market and he saw the dodgems and went running up. He’s been on them loads of times at the fair but here they said he was too small which is fair enough. But he was just not having it, he started screaming and crying and no matter what I did he wouldn’t move away. I can’t pick him up when he’s like that because he just fights it. Whilst I was trying to comfort him and calm him a few people did have to go past us to get to the entrance and I apologised. Just as my son was finally starting to calm down the man behind the till came and shouted ‘can you get him out of here please’ to which I responded do you not think that’s what I’m trying to do, he’s calmed down now but you’ve obviously never had children if you don’t understand how hard it is and his response was ‘I have but I know how to be a good parent unlike you’. My son was now distraught again and crying because he thought he was in trouble and I was mortified. Then as we were walking away a security guard tapped me on the shoulder and started also having a go at me. This man had called security because a child was having a tantrum. The security guard told me to never come back to the market again. Because my child cried!! I feel so upset. I obviously am a terrible parent, my son just can not handle being told no but I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or how to make it better. The only thing I can do in these situations is let him cry it out but I was made to feel like shit and even kicked out of an event for doing that!

in our community

I can’t apologize

Anytime my husband is angry at me , he uses words like fool, stupid, I regret marrying u etc . Even when I’m wrong I can’t apologize cos I get hurt and he in turn gets mad that I don’t take accountability. For context 90% of our Arguments is about the house being tidy.

Am I in the wrong

Long story short my mother in law lives abroad and has no boundaries will call me 3/4/5 times a day for the past 3 years since my daughter is born. My husband works all day so she calls me. She calls me either really early in the morning , at my babies nap time or after nap time when I’m trying to prepare lunch etc. I’ve explained to her before she needs to stop calling at nap time because then I look like the bi**h for ignoring her calls. If I text her and say sorry my daughter is sleeping right now she will reply that’s ok I want to speak to you but I’m trying to have a 30 min break to myself to shower or eat or clean whatever … She still continues to call and if I don’t answer she will keep answering. Then I get anxiety to find time to call her even if I’m busy or out so that I don’t look bad ignoring her then she will sit on the phone hardly saying anything just repeating my daughters name calling her on the phone and dealing with her customers(she runs her own buisness) all weekend she will be on FaceTime to my husband like 5 times a day and on holiday etc. A couple days ago she called during nap time and I didn’t answer I’ve been really exhausted lately. She seems to think because I’m a stay at home mum that I just sit around relaxing all day. Anyways I went about my day and after nap time and getting my housework done I went for a coffee with my daughter and my husband met us after work. We are all happy enjoying our coffee date and his mom is already on the phone and turns around to me and goes “I’ve called you three times today why havnt you answered” I explained to her that I’ve been super tired . I felt like she done it to shine a light on me and put me on the spot and bait me out to my husband. After the call I said to my husband she has no right to question me and I don’t have to explain myself to her and who is she to question me. His answer is always “you know how she is” but I felt like she done it maliciously to cause trouble with my husband and I and I didn’t like it. Anyways he got really mad o said she has no right to question me and we have had these arguments before she has no understanding of personal space or normal boundaries. My husband got really mad I said “who is she to question me” and hasn’t spoke to me for 4 days. Which is really extreme we never ever go this long without squashing and argument the hour later. He said I should respect his mum and all this and that. I am really hurt how far he’s taking this and said that whenever he says anything about my family I try to understand his point of view and support him before always jumping in the defensive.

Am I being petty

I swear I've woken up on the wrong side of the bed which doesn't help this scenario.
But am I being petty for being severely pissed off at my partner.
He puts the bottles on the steriliser. Didn't fill up or put the kettle on. Didn't fill the power pots ready.
Asked him to shut the blinds in my eldest room as you could see right in. Come back from shop they were still open.
Hasn't loaded in dishwasher in over a week.

I literally been feeling like a single mother these days. Like I know he is working more than usual but cumon he was already half prepping the bottles.

Break time.

Being told I don’t need a break because he provides for me. All I asked is for some help. Something as simple as getting a two hour break. Not everyday but on days I’m really tired.

Outside of motherhood I’m a human and I find it insane that him taking breaks by going out and doing whatever he pleases it’s not a problem, me asking to get a few hours to myself is and that he is not obligated to take care of our child if he doesn’t feel like it.

I’ll let that sit here.

Is my boyfriend too traditional or selfish?

He says he gives 8 hours of his life to his job M-F and he’s tired of coming home to do things he doesn’t want to/be inconvenienced. He’s talking about watching our son while I go to the food pantry. I can’t take our son because it’s a lot for me as I’m 8 months pregnant. My son is 10 months pregnant.

He was raised in a traditional home where his mom would do everything for him and his dad would work. He never did the dishes, cooked, or did his own laundry. I know he expects the same from me. I am trying my best to give him that since I’m a SAHM but i’m not used to doing that. In my eyes we should be 50/50 or he could help out a little more.

We also have two pets that he barely takes care of. I’m stuck cleaning our cat’s litter box (even though i shouldn’t while pregnant) or else it won’t get done.

Weaning- start with sweet or savoury?

Just want different views! I understand the idea of starting with veg is because babies have a natural preference for sweet so it can be beneficial starting with veg as they don’t know any different. However, I can imagine that mums start their babies on something sweet like banana or sweet potato or even creamy like baby porridge as it’s things they will likely enjoy and therefore they would start on a positive note and associate food time with positive experience. So I can imagine starting with sweet can also be beneficial so that they actually learn to enjoy eating whereas starting with veg I feel they eat less and pull the funny faces. So I’m torn between the 2 and just wanted to know different mums views on this. Also, I’m planning to start on veg but then at what point do I introduce breakfast? I would like to offer porridge for example but only going to start with one meal a day so how am I supposed to offer veg and breakfast if that makes sense? Literally just starting as baby is 6 months and trying to think of a plan xx