Is it unreasonable to ask mom for money she’s recently come into?

I understand why you want it as it is the sensible thing to do, but it is *her* money.. I hope she does do the responsible thing.

Unreasonable, IMO.
Not unreasonable to think she’d like to help out family in need or think of her grandchildren’s futures, as that’s what you and many others would choose to do, but I think unreasonable to think you’re entitled to it, both now or as inheritance, regardless of your childhood, your current financial situation or anything else.
If she hadn’t come into this money, you’d have to figure out your own debts, and wouldn’t be pinning failing your children (which you’re not on the grounds of them having/not having money in their ISA’s) on her and this windfall.
I’m not saying she’s in the right by how she’s choosing to spend it and I can absolutely see why you’re hurt by her decisions, but her choosing not to give you money in the way you’d like = restricting access to your children…. That seems a bit manipulative to me, like blackmail, no? Give me money for them or you can’t see them?
Idk, just my opinion.

Unreasonable unless you plan on supporting her during her old age and contributing towards her care fees. It’s her money.
She’s not responsible for supporting you or your family and saving for their future. That’s your responsibility. Plus this reads very wrong ie threatening to withhold your children from her if she doesn’t give you money plus the whole overall tone.

I think your way is better but ultimately it's her money. It's a tough one to navigate cos you don't want to seem like a money grabber.
Making someone wait for an inheritance that they could have now is ridiculous. Why not make your life easier?
My grandad died a few years ago and all his assets were automatically transferred to my Nan who is still with us. My dad is 68. My nan could easily live for years to come. His inheritance might not even be his til he is in his 70s. Imagine your mum making you wait until you are 70 when she has the assets now and you would really benefit. It seems silly.

Her money, her choice, sorry it mignt not be the answer your are looking for. Your partner is also wrong to push you keep insisting to get some of her money. Your debt are not her responsibility.
You have the right to be upset about it,as she your mum and could help but choose not too, however, you are entitled to it and shouldn't ask for her money imo.
I suggest you to move on and forget about it, you might need to go back to work earlier, find a better paid job to tackle your debt, you'll get there. Good luck

Yeah sorry but it's very unreasonable of you. I understand where you are coming from with everything you have said but that does not mean you are entitled to that money. It's your mums money, if she does gift any to you or your kids then that's amazing but you can't expect her to do it x

Sorry to say but yes, you are being a hut unreasonable, that’s her money and she can do what she wants with it, yes it maybe annoying if frustrating that she won’t do things how you want them up be done but again it’s her money
If she doesn’t give you money for your kids that’s not you failing them she just wasn’t generous enough that’s nothing to do with you
In my opinion it’s easier to spend money that you didn’t work hard for
Don’t rely on her to put money away for your kids but also don’t count it out she might surprise you

i dont think you should be expecting her to pay of your debts , that’s wrong . if you’re worried you will fail your kids then get into some type of work and pay of the debts yourself to prevent that since it is your debt, you are there mother and they are your responsibility, not hers .judging by her character this is the first time she’s had this amount of money so to be honest it seems like it’s going to be gone fast

Can't believe what I've just read. 🤦🏻‍♀️
Using your children’s ISAs as a front to ask for £30k to pay off your own debts is manipulative and wild. You aren't failing your kids because your mom won't give you her winnings, you're failing to take responsibility for your own financial situation here and I feel like you and your husband are using your kids as a moral shield to justify a cash grab. Even considering withholding them from her if she doesn't agree. If you want to be a better parent than she was Id suggest not teaching your children that relationships come with a price tag. She's either good enough or not.

Heyy. NGL I’m in shock with the response you have received. I don’t normally reply to things like this and I’m hardly on this app. But just reading the comments, I just had to type something. It’s funny how people can talk when theyre never been in your situation before. Tbf, I have never been in your situation before and fortunately I have lovely parents. But yet I still understand you.
I personally don’t think your being unreasonably at all tbh. The only disagreement I do have with a comment you made is that you feel your failing your children if you don’t have or get the money. Let me tell you girl, your not failing them at all. Your mother not giving you some money dosent mean your failing them. You could find other ways to still create an ISA account for your kids and start off putting as small as £5 per week/ month if anything. You don’t need a large sum to start. Like you said not to be touch until thier 18. Just starting small now and letting it build can still go a long way.

Also just to add. Don’t know why some people are saying get a job and etc. when you have clearly stated your on maternity leave !!?? Are just given birth mothers not allowed maternity leave now and spend time with thier little ones ?!! Wow.
Also, is seems from your statement. Your mum has failed you from childhood and through adulthood. I personally think you could/ should still talk to her to help you out, but don’t expect much for her, because she seems that she will fail you again and again, with false promises. Wishing you all the best.

Unreasonable. IT IS NOT YOUR MONEY. Period. She made it so she can spend it how she wants it. Your children, your life, your debt and your responsibility. If she decides to give you or your children any, then great. Otherwise, let her be. If YOU CAME INTO MONEY, would you consider giving her a chunk? Probably not cause you’ll be giving excuses like, she is a gambler, she going to spend it all, she don’t deserve it, etc. I think her biggest mistake was letting you and your hubby know all about it. You sound like a vulture just waiting…