Anyone available to text rq

Idk, I’m being emotional or what… but opinions on having your baby outside in the cold for 30 minutes to please family members.

On my end, I’m against it completely, but I know my husband feels guilty about us declining his parents' invite. But tbh, their invites are inconsiderate and always somewhere public and crowded, like a school game, when my son was only a few weeks old. They are teachers hence why that.

And yes my son got his shots but it's only been a week and he’s still recovering from a cold. And it feels unfair because I’ll be the one dealing with the sickness not them. My husband does help but when he’s working I don’t bother him during the nights and that’s when it’s the worst.

His parents are doing some kind of outside party thing for the end of the year. I decline to go because I’m too angry to be fake around their friends. I just feel like they don’t care and just want to show us our son just because. He just left and I’m crying over it. It’s literally cold and it’s getting to that nighttime air as well.

And I know he’s definitely going this time because I said no last week when he had a fucking runny nose. And his parents were weird about me not wanting my sick newborns out there.

I’m crying and I’m trying not to be angry, this time around it was on my husband. I didn’t help with the diaper bag packing and told him if he wants Jr. there he has to pack it. I did make sure he had his mittens, Vaseline on his face to protect him, and things like that..

I dunno I feel all over and hurt. Especially when he knows how I feel about that and then outside. I’m trying to be fair but literally don’t do that on my side of the family, I set hard boundaries. And I’m not trying to cause issues with his family but he is literally dumb shit. Like why do y'all think it’s okay to have a baby outside after recovering- who still hasn’t gotten all his shots because he was too sick to.

On top of the fact I keep expressing he’s too young and that if something happens it’ll be hard because he’s too young and weak.

Read more on Peanut

The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.

Learn more about our guidelines.

Add a comment

I just came here to say that what you choose to do with your baby is a decision between you and your husband and no one else. Everyone has different comfort levels and family and friends should respect that. We had our baby on a cross country flight at 3 months, some people wouldn’t agree with that but he did great.

Hi momma.

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Your feelings are completely valid, and you’re not being dramatic or unreasonable. You’re advocating for your baby’s health, and that’s your job as a mom—especially when he’s so little, recovering, and vulnerable. I would be anxious and upset if this was my son.

Wanting to protect your child doesn’t mean you’re trying to cause problems with his family—it means you’re prioritizing what matters most.

You did what you could to keep your baby safe, and it’s okay to feel angry, sad, and overwhelmed right now.

Keep doing what you’re doing momma and don’t take your baby out on this cold weather.

Stay strong. You got this girl.

GIRL you’re not being dramatic! I feel completely the same way. And people call me weird and yeah I miss out on things but all well ig I am weird but at least my son is happy and healthy. And yes my son has all his shots as well but moms are the ones who have to deal with the sickness and nothing is worse than knowing your baby is hurting. So please don’t feel bad bc you’re not alone. Sometimes my husband throws a fit but over all he knows that I’m the default parent and at the end of the day I know what’s best for baby/family and myself.

I think you’re right and you need to talk to your husband, if he gets angry, it’s his problem because there’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying, he needs to respect your opinion and I agree, a baby doesn’t need to socialize and be exposed like that.

Always do what you feel is best and safest for YOUR kids. Since having kids I’ve learned if we get invited to something but it’s going to be too cold or my kid is sick, etc. I’ll just let my husband go and stay home with the kids, no one makes a fuss and I’m glad. Today we had plans to go to my sisters and his dads house but my 3 year old is getting sick and has an ugly cough and I don’t want to risk my 5 month old also getting sick. So everyone is just coming here because they don’t want me taking them out in the cold. That’s how family that loves the children should act. Tbh I don’t understand your in laws and I’m so sorry you have to deal with that and your husband not supporting you. My husband would go crazy if one of his parents demanded we took our baby out in the cold when they were already sick.

Don’t let other people bully you into doing what they want because they want a cute baby around. I find that people can be surprisingly inconsiderate of baby’s needs even if they’ve had kids before especially if it’s been a while or their kids are grown.

You are the mother and primary caregiver and you know what’s best. Even more than your husband as he is not the primary caregiver and is succumbing to the pressure from his family, which he is more susceptible than you. Just remind him that babies are very vulnerable and even if exposure is okay only in moderation and if you’re comfortable with it. It’s not right for him to pressure you, he should be supporting you.

As the father his new, young family’s needs trump the needs of his adult, childhood family. I know it’s tough and I’m sorry family can sometimes be super manipulative. Hang in there mama and stick to your guns.

I just want to say thank you all for your insight and help. I no longer feel crazy or dramatic. I am trying my best as a first time mom and also a newly wed. I know once I’m calm to have a healthy conversation, he will understand. I just don’t want to repeat myself on this same topic with him.

Or at the very least considers all my concerns before deciding.

As a mother to a four month old living in Chicago, I had to get over being too scared to leave my house and it was cold. I take my baby out every single day sun, rain, snow doesn’t matter. BUT I refuse to take my baby around large crowds of people and sick people. If it’s a get together with more than five people, I always ask everyone if they’re feeling sick and if anyone says yes, I immediately say we are not going. AND when we do go out, I have a baby carrier and she doesn’t get out of it unless she’s being changed. I told my partner and all of our extended family from the very beginning that my baby wasn’t going to be passed around for show.

I think you’re the mom that is your baby, you do what you need to do to keep them safe.

in our community

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Jealous of my husband

I’m so jealous of him and it’s making me resentful. We have a ten week old and I’m jealous that he is at work all day. I’m jealous he can leave for lunch and actually eat an uninterrupted lunch. Take a phone call uninterrupted. Chat with a friend he runs in to uninterrupted. Even go to the bathroom when he wants uninterrupted. He comes home from work when he wants. He’s not on a set schedule. Some days are late some are early. It depends on when he’s done. I’m jealous he can come home at 10pm and shower, eat and go right to bed uninterrupted because I already have the baby asleep. He doesn’t have to worry about anything house wise or baby wise because I’ve done it all. Meanwhile I’m covered in puke and crap and smell like rotten milk. When he is home he is VERY active and helpful. So it’s not that. I’m just jealous his world hasn’t changed and mine has I guess. This isn’t something he’s doing wrong so I’m not sure how to get past this. I wish I could keep him home all day because that’s how helpful he is, but I understand he obv needs to work.

NHS job

Anyone work for the NHS and does 12 hour shifts? How do you work around childcare and your partners job?