Baby daddy's porn addiction
Long post incoming...
My husband and I (both 35) have been together since we were 18. It became apparent a couple of years in that he liked to watch porn (specifically pregnancy-related porn), and by our mid-20s this had manifested as a full-blown addiction - keeping him up all hours of the night - that almost destroyed our relationship. A few years after that he was diagnosed with ADHD, and with medication and a psychiatrist he has been much better since (though not exactly"cured"). Then after several years of trying/IVF, we finally got pregnant, our sex life was great for the duration of the pregnancy, and we now have a 2-week old son who my husband adores.
We're both on parental leave for the next several months, which has been good as I've been recovering from a C-section, but over the last few days my husband has been slipping back into his old habits - staying up well past midnight to watch porn and wank, and even doing so during the day when he originally planned on doing something else (so he'll tell me he's going upstairs to shower, for instance, then get distracted by his phone and not shower at all). All the while I'm sitting on a different floor of the house, holding the baby, trying to trust him and ultimately having that trust betrayed time and again (I don't even care about the naked ladies, it's simply the fact that he does it when he says he's doing something else and will not stop when I ask him to - in fact he'll often have a go at me for making him feel bad).
No doubt his ADHD management has been severely disrupted by our new lack of routine and lack of sleep, not to mention the fact that we can't have sex yet *and* I'm not a sexy pregnant woman anymore, but surely he should be making more of an effort to rein in his behaviour?? He does have a psych appointment in two days' time, but I don't want to wait until then to see any sort of change. I don't want him to forget about my existence every time he goes into another room, or to tell me "I'll be with you soon" and then continue for X amount of time until I pester him again. Simply put, I want him to treat both me and himself with respect, and I'm really f***ing upset that he literally couldn't last 2 weeks - half of which was spent in hospital - before falling back into his addictive ways.
Does anyone else have partners who have struggled with ADHD/addiction of any kind, particularly soon after birth? How have you dealt with it?
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Question , how do you always know he’s watching Porn while doing the things he’s suppose to do. Do he do it in front of you?
This is way more than ADHD - it is just an addiction to porn and- I am so sorry you’re going through this. I think you need to come to terms with the fact that this isn’t going to change without him really wanting to- simple as that. So probably not going to- if he would rather watch porn that spend time with his newborn and wife then this is a serious problem. This has been an issue for seemingly over a decade it’s not going to change in two days before his psych appointment. If you’ve said everything to him, tried couples therapy, then you need to decide if you can live with it or if you need to leave him because his behavior is making you feel like shit and those feelings will only build over time
I just wanted to say you are a very strong woman. I am proud of you! But , personally leave him))): oh no babe
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