Mil / gmil drama

So first time posting but any advice on in-laws who do nothing but tell you you’re not enough call you lazy a bad mom and a fat b!tçh bc I’ve had about all I can take and my fiance and I both have cussed these people out tried to cut ties and they just wiggle back in bc to my fiance he (squashed it and it’s over) but it never is and never changes any time his grandma comes over there is something wrong with the house or the kids or I’m not doing anything right and I’m tired of it . For example I just had a hysterectomy 2 weeks ago today and not supposed to do anything for at least 4-6 weeks and his family watched the kids for 4 days day befor during and after my surgery and then brought them to me on the 4th day after saying I was a lazy pos bc my boys had a cold and his grandma don’t like the dr we take them to it’s a whole story she went as far as saying they would die in their sleep from infection bc I don’t take them to the dr she wanted. Anyways she has posed on fb talking about me and my fiance being bad parents ect and when my mother seen it and finally had enough of her doing this kind of thing she comments on the post and that leads to her dishing out more hateful degrading comments toward me well this then spirals into me personally messaging her about it and her calling me leading to me going off the deep end on her and my fiance doing the same just for a few days to pass and her trying to act like it’s not a big deal and shouldn’t matter now and my fiance acting the same but then a few days ago his grandparents call and ask what we’re doing to which he told them he was working outside while I did what I could in the house and instantly was met with the comment “she’s probably in there sitting on her fat f-ing aşș” idk if we can cuss on here but my fiance then goes off on them for the 10000x now and yet agin here we are with them all acting like it’s fine. Idk what to do anymore im tired of being disrespected and the it brushed off as a casual conversation even if my fiance is defending me. Ever since i had the surgery I haven’t had any time to rest or heal and have been told 2x now my my surgeon and dr that if I keep up like this I can seriously harm myself leading to another surgery or worse and even with that lingering around my emotional state is horrible rn I’ve been struggling severely with depression and anxiety since the surgery and all this on top of that has me feeling like I’m drowning and not able to figure out rationally on what I should do about everything. Any thoughts or advice is welcome.

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

Is this clever or cruel?

My husband and i were talking and with social media and the internet in general being a terrifying dumpster fire, we are trying to figure out the best way to keep our son safe while still teaching him how to safely be online and moderation.

We landed on the idea of giving him the 90's kid treatment. A computer in the living room for us to keep an eye on what hes doing online, and once we feel hes mature enough to hang with friends without adult supervision he gets a flip phone. When we feel he is responsible enough and he earns and saves up the money for the physical phone, case, and screen cover, then we will be happy to take him to get a smart phone.

I thought this was air tight, but now my brother says its cruel to give a kid a flip phone, and besides he can just use his friends phones at school.

My husband and i remember a time before the internet, and we remember having complete access to something no one understood yet. We saw unspeakable things and are always battling with the urge to put the phone and social media down. I dont want that for my son, especially with his brain so vulnerable still.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!

Nursery funding

My child turned 9 months last week. I applied for government funded hours nearly 2 months ago and so well within the required timeframe for the April term, however upon receiving my first invoice without the funding applied and having questioned this, I have now been informed that the stretched funding doesn’t start until 4th May.

Has anyone else been told it won’t start until May?

The government site states it should start from April 1st, and so I intentionally set my nursery start and return to work as the start of April for that reason, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to afford the nursery on my sole income without the funding

Partner no longer wants baby #2

Before our son was born we originally both wanted minimum 2 kids but we were hoping for 3-4. My partner found the birth traumatic to watch and also struggled a lot with the newborn/baby stage. He no longer wants to have any more children and it’s completely breaking my heart. I need another baby. We’ve spoken about it a lot and the options. He said he wasn’t COMPLETELY closed off to it so I asked him to try and work through his feelings and reconsider his decision. He eventually said he definitely doesn’t want another. I know that I will always want one and my feelings will never change. Do we have to break up or does anyone know anything else I can do to help change his mind? Has anyone else’s partner said this and then changed their mind? I don’t want to break up because I adore him and our life together and I’d hate to split up our family for “selfish” reasons and make my son miss out on having both of us together but I just don’t know what to do