Advice on Co-parenting
So me and babies dad split up last November and we have been co-parenting since, my issue is though that the dad doesn’t follow my routines and basically does his own thing all the time. My little boy has been full of this nasty cough for weeks now and the dad sent me a photo of him this morning hardly dressed, basically in a baby grow and leggings, when I questioned this he replied ‘he doesn’t need to wear a top all the time, I have the heating on, he is fine’. I tried to explain to him he still needs to wear clothes whether the heating is on or not, he’s full a cold and babies need an extra layer of clothing than what we would wear. He’s ignored my message. Last time he returned him to me again, he returned him half dressed, in clothes that were dirty and wet and the same clothes that I had dressed him a few days before. Whenever I ask for updates on him, my ex always gets arsey. I know I need the break away from baby as I have him 24/7 but whenever he stays with his dad I absolutely hate it and can never relax. I just wish he would listen to me and follow my routines and take care of our child properly. Anyone else been in a similar situation and what did you do? It’s getting to the point where I don’t want him staying over but I know I can’t stop this as he has parental rights
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How old is your baby? My child’s dad was a bit crap at first, I’d say for the first year really. And I would complain like you’re doing and he’d get annoyed with me, but eventually he found his feet and does stuff properly now. He still does some things different to me and that’s his choice, but on things like safety and routines he’s fine now. Maybe he just needs more practice?
Oh sorry, just looked at your profile. Your baby is one, so yeah you’d expect he’d be pretty competent by now. How long has he been looking after the baby alone?
I dont have any advice for you but alot of dad's are like this even when not separated my girls dad doesnt know how to dress her properly even when I pass her fully dressed she comes back with no pants or no top or just in a vest he doesn't do any sort of routine with her never knows when she next needs feeding even if he seen her just be fed and and knows she goes 3-4 hours between and I think hes a dad who does genuinely try to help so try remember he would probs also be like this if he lived with you it just more difficult to manage when your not around.
My only suggestion is if your boy is old enough to follow a routine chart send it to dad's with him hopefully he will be wanting to follow it if he gets a treat at the end of the week or something which will help dad fall into a routine without you having to nag at him
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