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Moms in their 30’s

Friendships in motherhood

Wondering if others are experiencing this too.

A group of us have been friends for 10 years or so. In our 30-40s. Now we all have kids or expecting, roughly the same age. We all live far from family. Seemed like the kids were going to grow up together. Be each others village. But no.

Parenting approaches are wildly different for us all, We judge each other, some silently and others very openly. The kids don't get on and I don't want to force my daughter into a friendship where someone is just nasty to her. There is a lot of competition which is draining my energy - whose kid is a good eater, whose kid has more activities, who spends more time with their kids and go on more expensive holidays, an so on. I continued to work, they tell me I am missing on the best years. I now can afford to stay home (second kid and other circumstances changed), they told me I will hate being a stay at home mum - "it's not as easy as it looks".

I have decided to distance myself as it is totally toxic environment and I don't need these friendships, but is this common? I feel like I am grieving relationships I never even had in the first place if that makes sense.