7 weeks pregnant and beyond depressed.
hey im julissa, i currently have a 10 year old and a 5 year old, I stopped dating men roughly after my son father, (5 years ago) and been with a woman every since. Recently my girlfriend and i had broke up requiring me to move from ATL back home to NY. I enjoyed a fun night out since i didnt have my son. Upon getting home, completely discombobulated and disoriented my mom suggest i ride with her to pick up my son from his father. Although i didnt want to, i was carelessly out of it and wasnt gonna be the one driving figured id go to sleep in the car. Upon getting there my mom tells me to go retrieve my son, again im not even in my right state don’t even remember how i got out the car. Long story short, upon me going inside trying to gather my son my mom pulls off. Im really out of it so I sat on the couch and to my now knowledge dozed off. LONG STORY SHORT weeks go by and no period but im not really thinking anything just February was a short month maybe its late. To my surprise I found out i was pregnant. My son’s father literally took advantage of me in a vulnerable moment. Pulls my pants down, ejaculates inside me, then when I tell him like hey? wtf im pregnant he’s all scared and tryna tell me to get a abortion? But im the one who has to answer to God, you took advantage of me while I was out of my clear state then wanna pressure me to kill a baby. Not to mention my girlfriend hates me now and I just feel so alone over something I didn’t do or wanted I already had 1 abortion after my son and i still feel like God is disappointed in me because of that, So i tread getting another one. Plus it took an emotional toll on me for years I still cry when i to k about what i have done. I just don’t know what to do
Almost 3 years of loneliness
I wonder if any experienced mamas can give any advice.
My little boy is almost 3, and I've suffered from being lonely since he was born really.
My family and my husband's family live very far from us, and my family are not very dedicated or committed, so I rarely get to spend much time with them. My husband's family we see 1 or 2 times per year due to distance. My husband's job is very long hours and he's at work most of the time.
I feel that I've followed all the advice I can and yet I'm still spending the vast majority of my time alone with my little boy. I have made a few friends, but people have their own lives and families so seeing friends maybe only happens once or twice per week maximum for a couple of hours, and sometimes I can go for weeks without seeing these friends. My pre-baby friends are none existent now. I take my little boy out every day for multiple hours to parks or play groups, just so we're not alone in the house. But I find even this is becoming such an effort now, because I just feel so lonely.
I keep thinking about returning to work just for some adult company, but then I think that's unfair on my child and selfish of me as he'd have to go to nursery for long hours.
It really feels hard on weekends when we're alone and we go out and everyone is out with families and friends, and we don't have that.
