Am I too secretive?

So hear me out, I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant 2 weeks ago. My husband excited, I was excited. Now we lost a baby in the past. 1 stillbirth and 1 miscarriage. So I feel like I don’t want to share with any family or outsiders that I’m pregnant because of all the negativity and I want to feel more secure in my pregnancy before I discuss anything. We also have been having issues in our marriage with him being in an emotionally enmeshed relationship with his mother and having stability issues. So we been working on trying to attain this house and a new car and have a better grip on our finances. My husband and I discussed keeping the pregnancy, the house and the car between us until things manifest. I’m big on letting life build and manifest before we go telling people. His mother and me are also not cool. She hasn’t been a fan of me from the very beginning of our relationship. Again she wants him as her 2nd husband, (if you understand emotional enmeshing and triangulation, this has been her relationship with my husband) she also thinks she is this big prophetess woman who has dreams and God tells her everything. She has been avoidant towards me and has been hoping our relationship ends. We have a five year old daughter together and a 19 month old son. So why would she want the relationship to end is beyond me, except so that she can pretend she had a dream about it and that she predicted this to his family. ANYWAY fast forward I started having cramps last week and have been bleeding for 8 days. More than likely I had a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy because I know the baby haven’t had a heartbeat yet (my doctors appointment is next week) Now again we agreed to keep this all private until things manifest. So his mom going through her own divorce and issues and she been blowing up my husband phone for days. Now when he talks to his mom he gets so wrapped in her world and her emotions and then thinks she is so wise, so he said to me he was going to learn how to be more responsible and grow as a man. Of course he gets tied into her web again, talks to her, gets to drinking and tells her all of our plans about the house, the car, the pregnancy , our conversations about divorce, all our marital issues! And his mom loves to gossip and laugh at our situation. I found out he told her all this because he was talking to her on the phone today on speaker phone and he like “man we better get this house and the car and blah blah”, and then she was like “now what about the baby?” And he hurried up and took her off of speaker. So when I wanted to talk to him about how I feel like he violated our agreement we had about his relationship with his mother, about our private life until it manifests , about the pregnancy and everything. He said he was like “I don’t be knowing what to talk about with them and f**k it I told everything and that you’re too secretive.” ‼️Now, I don’t feel like I’m secretive, I feel like a husband and wife should live life of their own, have their own private life and share what they want to share when they both agree to. So I feel like he violated our trust and keeps continuing to bring his mother and family into our relationship without my consent, and she is already hoping our marriage ends because hers is ending. Am I being secretive or does husband and wife really keep things between each other and he just violated our trust?

3

in our community

Do you wash your hands after changing a nappy?

I've been to quite a few baby groups where I've noticed a lot of her mums don't wash their hands after they change their baby. they just change them in the room and then carry on with the class. Personally, I find it gross and the same as going to the toilet without washing your hands. I wondered whatever everyone else thought.

1

15

Left over nappies

What do people do with leftover nappies when their babies go up a size, I have lots of size 1,2 and 3 from when my baby sizes up and im not sure what to do with them , binning seems wrong , charity and food and living banks only take them when it’s a sealed brand new pack , what do you do with your leftovers

14

Head bump

My 10 week old had a head bump yesterday 2pm we went hospital cos she was sick twice at 6pm. They said she seems completely fine and not concerned. When we got home she went straight to sleep and slept continuously from 10pm-8am… 10 hours with no wakes she has never done that we usually wake 3/4 times a night. I woke her up at 8am just to see how she reacted to lights n stuff and to try feed her but she’s not interested in feeding. (EBF)
Is this usual? I’m a bit concerned? But drs said she was fine so idk

8

Insensitive husband.

So overall my hubby is kind & supportive of most things but at times a bit of a joker and can be quite immature (like most men)

I had a Vbac with my second but it was really traumatic so I’ve decided on an elective Section which is booked for 3 weeks time.

I’m obviously nervous like anyone would be as it’s major surgery but my husband has said things like “you do have life insurance don’t you” or “just cos you’re having a planned procedure doesn’t mean things can’t go wrong” 🙄 I said you shouldn’t be saying things like that you. He was trying to push me to have another normal birth but I have my good reasons not to & I still don’t think he’s on board!

I think maybe it’s cos he knows he will have to do more after a section than a normal delivery 🤷🏻‍♀️
Men are so insensitive sometimes. I mean do you think there’s any logic in what he’s saying?

8

Am I too secretive?

So hear me out, I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant 2 weeks ago. My husband excited, I was excited. Now we lost a baby in the past. 1 stillbirth and 1 miscarriage. So I feel like I don’t want to share with any family or outsiders that I’m pregnant because of all the negativity and I want to feel more secure in my pregnancy before I discuss anything. We also have been having issues in our marriage with him being in an emotionally enmeshed relationship with his mother and having stability issues. So we been working on trying to attain this house and a new car and have a better grip on our finances. My husband and I discussed keeping the pregnancy, the house and the car between us until things manifest. I’m big on letting life build and manifest before we go telling people. His mother and me are also not cool. She hasn’t been a fan of me from the very beginning of our relationship. Again she wants him as her 2nd husband, (if you understand emotional enmeshing and triangulation, this has been her relationship with my husband) she also thinks she is this big prophetess woman who has dreams and God tells her everything. She has been avoidant towards me and has been hoping our relationship ends. We have a five year old daughter together and a 19 month old son. So why would she want the relationship to end is beyond me, except so that she can pretend she had a dream about it and that she predicted this to his family. ANYWAY fast forward I started having cramps last week and have been bleeding for 8 days. More than likely I had a miscarriage or chemical pregnancy because I know the baby haven’t had a heartbeat yet (my doctors appointment is next week) Now again we agreed to keep this all private until things manifest. So his mom going through her own divorce and issues and she been blowing up my husband phone for days. Now when he talks to his mom he gets so wrapped in her world and her emotions and then thinks she is so wise, so he said to me he was going to learn how to be more responsible and grow as a man. Of course he gets tied into her web again, talks to her, gets to drinking and tells her all of our plans about the house, the car, the pregnancy , our conversations about divorce, all our marital issues! And his mom loves to gossip and laugh at our situation. I found out he told her all this because he was talking to her on the phone today on speaker phone and he like “man we better get this house and the car and blah blah”, and then she was like “now what about the baby?” And he hurried up and took her off of speaker. So when I wanted to talk to him about how I feel like he violated our agreement we had about his relationship with his mother, about our private life until it manifests , about the pregnancy and everything. He said he was like “I don’t be knowing what to talk about with them and f**k it I told everything and that you’re too secretive.” ‼️Now, I don’t feel like I’m secretive, I feel like a husband and wife should live life of their own, have their own private life and share what they want to share when they both agree to. So I feel like he violated our trust and keeps continuing to bring his mother and family into our relationship without my consent, and she is already hoping our marriage ends because hers is ending. Am I being secretive or does husband and wife really keep things between each other and he just violated our trust?

3