in

England

Do I have the right to be annoyed?

Long story short.
My boyfriend got a new job last month. Working in a local bar he does usually 8 hours each shift. Usually finishes at 12am so goes back to his dads because me and our children are asleep in bed and it’s not ideal traveling up to my house so late.
When he is here, he will go to sleep between 2-4 am.
If our daughters in nursery me and her wake up for 7 am. When she’s not in nursery me and our 4 month old are up around 7:30.
He will sleep in till 12pm sometimes later and it’s starting to agitate me, I’m doing everything for our kids anyway, doing the night feeds, the wakes with our youngest teething, Changes, feeds, just looking after both our children in general. I’m doing everything. Our oldest is 3 and can be a handful along with our 4 month old being in sleep regression, teething and having separation anxiety. I can’t get a minute to myself. I’m also pregnant again so everything’s just up in the air.

When I try to bring this up to him he switches to being insulted or me having a dig at him. He says he can’t help what time he falls asleep. Don’t get me wrong there’s sometimes I can’t switch off from a hectic day and when the girls are eventually asleep, I’d stay up till 1-2 am on my phone because that is my time to wind down for the night. Yet if I went to sleep at 2 am best believe I am still up for 7 am to feed our oldest, dress her for school and see to our 4 month old. Sometimes I’m tired but I just get on with it because I’m a mother and I need to get stuff done and make sure my kids are sorted.

Yesterday annoyed me a little, he was at work till 5. Came up to see me and the girls, took the remote put what he wanted on the tv and fell asleep and went to bed. Not once did he pick up or acknowledge our youngest. He was downstairs for a whole hour then went to bed. there’s been a couple times my kids dad hasn’t seen them for a whole week because he’s working late shifts and just goes back to his dads and can’t seem to appreciate or understand how tough it can be for me on my own but I STILL get on with it.

Our youngest is waking up a couple times in the night with her teething and he had the cheek to ask me how I’m so tired I explained this has been every night for almost 2 weeks now and now I’m pregnant again I’m absolutely shattered. He just turned over and started to snore again.

If I’m honest I feel like a single mother with a partner on the side. He will only do something for our kids if I ask him to. I feel like that shouldn’t be the case. These are his children too.

If you got this far, Thankyou for reading.