Getting partner off

I feel like both of you should be focusing on your baby’s needs right now and not thinking about his needs. Any man who doesn’t respect your health and needs and your baby right now is just down right wrong. Please wait until your 6 week check up and be cleared to have sex. Don’t risk your life, having sepsis, infection etc for sex. It’s not worth it. Focus on your baby.

The conditioning women have to feel guilty if we aren’t “providing” sex to our partner is so real… it sounds like he is not adding to that though, which is crucial (and would be a red flag if he were). You just gave him a child, honey. This is your time to focus on your needs and your babies needs. He can take care of himself in the shower if he really “needs” to. Maybe you can even just name that not doing anything makes you feel guilty, and let him know what you are feeling.

If you are uncomfortable and it doesn’t sound appealing to you (won’t bring you joy and connection), then it won’t bring him joy or connection either. Instead of thinking it’s all or nothing, or feeling bad, I would try to prioritize other kinds of emotional intimacy! One week postpartum is such a sacred time for you to bond with your baby and partner. When the baby sleeps you can cuddle. I also like to give my husband affirmation (like telling him how grateful I am for him taking care of me, how good of a dad he is, how I’m still attracted to him and can’t wait to connect physically as a couple again, etc.) Communication like that goes a loooong way. And you can let him know that you’re not super into manual stuff right now (although bjs are always an option if you’re into that 😅). Anyway don’t feel bad. Rest. Heal. Love. Be loved. Be held. Hold each other.