Has anybody had a 2nd child and it made their life better or worse??

Hi everyone. I’m really debating having a second child but I’m scared incase when I do it actually makes things ten times worse. I already have a 6 year old whose hard work and I just remember as soon as I had her me and my ex boyfriend (her dad) hated each other and it was awful he cheated on me when she was 6 months old so I swore I’d never do it again. My boyfriend has a 14 and a 20 year old so I’m not sure how they would take it etc. he still comes and stays with us 2 nights a week etc. my 6 year old always says to she hates babies and they are annoying 🤣
Also the cost of living to I’d be scared incase I can’t afford another one etc but I’m so broody at the minute I would love another one haha

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If you think you can't afford another one, I wouldn't. If you think you can, I'd start with talking with your boyfriend. Does he want another?

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Me and my husband thought we could afford another, as soon as he was born in 2022 inflation hit. He cried all the time and my mom refused to watch him anymore while I worked. I had no one else. We had to sell our home, move into a trailer. I had to quit a job I loved.
Then we ended up moving to SC to be closer to my sister so that I could get some help because we were drowning and I had to go back to work. All in the midst of me and my husband truly talking divorce. We were so good before. He couldn’t handle the pressure of all of it, and he did so many things to break my trust throughout this whole thing. We’re getting back to us but it’s still a struggle everyday.
All this to say, if you think you can’t afford it I am telling you as a friend don’t do it🥺 I cannot express to you how hard the last 4 years of my life have been.

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My second is 7 months. My first is 6 with suspected ASD. I only had a second as my first begged for a sibling and I felt awful with him being alone esp if anything happened to us (I also blame working in the funeral industry for making this feeling worse). I absolutely love both of my children but I should have stuck to being one and done. Trying to balance my eldest meltdowns which can become aggressive and physical and usually directed at me with the needs of a baby has made life so much harder plus the sleep deprivation.

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Am I the asshole here? What should I do?

Ok, so I need some mum advice please. I’m 33F and mum to an adorable 5 month old boy. Over very much become the default parent in our house. My finance (M36) works full time while I work 3 days a week and stay home the other 2 week days and look after our son. I am also currently enrolled and studying at university to get my degree. I don’t mind being the default, the reality is I spend more time with our son, so it makes sense that it would naturally happen. But today I tried to have a conversation with him about how I feel like I’m drowning in the mental load of running our house and looking after our son. I said to him that I needed him to just listen to me, and try to not get defensive because my goal was not to attack him or make him feel like shit, just that I need him to try and understand that it feels like I’m doing most of this on my own. For context, he does not take initiative at all when it comes to our son or housework. He relies on me to tell me what needs to be done, like when feeds need to happen, or naps or what kind of solids he can have, when bedtime needs to happen (which involves him having a shower with our son each night) he’s never the one to instigate these tasks. And from a housework point of view, about the only thing he “owns” is mowing the lawn and even then that happens rarely. I do the cooking and cleaning, I wash our bedding, do all the grocery shopping and make sure the animals have food and their medications.
Anyway, me asking for no defensiveness did not work and he immediately got angry that I would even bring it up. Whenever I have tired to have conversations like this in the past, it’s inevitable that he will bring it back to money. That’s his reason “you don’t understand the financial stress I’m under, I work full time so that I can pay our mortgage and the electricity and gas and water bills”. And this is true, I don’t contribute financially to our mortgage or the utility bills, but I do pay for our sons childcare and 90% of the groceries including formula and nappies, as well as all the babies clothes and accessories like bottles, his toys and bedding.
I don’t feel like what I’m asking is unreasonable. Today he told me “you’d be homeless if it wasn’t for me” and that nearly broke me. I don’t feel like I have a team mate or a partner in this anymore, it feels like he expects me to just lump it because he pays for the house and I should be grateful. I don’t have any family support in the same state as us and I have no close friends here either. I don’t know what to do. Am I being unreasonable for wanting him to contribute more at home?

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When do the breakdowns at nursery drop offs stop? 😭

This will be her second week at nursery, and she only goes 2 days a week, but my daughter screams and cries and tries to cling onto me every drop off, even though they'll send me a pic every time of her being fine within 10 mins of me leaving, and then she's fine for the rest of the day too. How long did this phase last for everyone else? She's never really been away from me so I was kind of expecting it lol

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Lunch/dinner and pressure

I make my 1 year olds food everyday from scratch. I don’t give him anything pre-made from the supermarket and make everything myself from scratch. He won’t even be allowed mayonnaise or any sauces like that. Am I putting too much pressure on myself not giving him anything from the supermarket or is this normal?

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Feeling so awkward

So im 38wks pregnant and have 2yr old with my husband.

I dont want to miss out on time spent with him so have ended up going along to a soft play today with them both.

However, I fele like such a spare part, bored out of head, wish I never came. Im just sat on my own aimlessly scrolling on my phone. As they are both all over the place and by the time I find them they are gone again as our toddler is so excitable bless him.

He's having a great time. But I feel so sad sitting here wish I stayed at home 😪

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5

My husband said this and not sure what to say or how to help..

I don’t feel like i’m a good Dad, don’t think I’m cut out to be a Dad & i hate myself for it

Has anyone else been in this situation and did it get better with time? Baby girl is 16 months and wasn’t planned

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Has anybody had a 2nd child and it made their life better or worse??

Hi everyone. I’m really debating having a second child but I’m scared incase when I do it actually makes things ten times worse. I already have a 6 year old whose hard work and I just remember as soon as I had her me and my ex boyfriend (her dad) hated each other and it was awful he cheated on me when she was 6 months old so I swore I’d never do it again. My boyfriend has a 14 and a 20 year old so I’m not sure how they would take it etc. he still comes and stays with us 2 nights a week etc. my 6 year old always says to she hates babies and they are annoying 🤣
Also the cost of living to I’d be scared incase I can’t afford another one etc but I’m so broody at the minute I would love another one haha

Avatar

1

4

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