Let me know what is appropriate for an excessive babydaddy

He not respecting our privacy nor boundaries.. he wants to talk to the kids daily which is no problem(to me, I left the door open to my abuser) but I’m always busy which daily doesn’t work out for me… we just moved out of the domestic violence situation(I just recently moved out of the house).
I just got a job, yay! Also got another job left and right lol, another yay! Bills didn’t give me a break for just moving in so I ghost bills stacked up because I had nothing but help to get started. My mom left her job to be a stay at home grandma and she spent her left penny to put in for the house to keep my kids warm and pay the land rent, she bought emergency car seats and a van that also broke down…my first check hasn’t came in yet and I’m riding a bike from just outside of the city to again the other end of the same city also just outside of it again by bike!! I don’t have time and am always tired so he is upset I am unable to let him see and talk to our toddlers.. he says he will buy them a tablet so he can see and talk to them daily but.. I told him they don’t even know how to work that and he says well my mom can set it up for them but that would not be her responsibility 🤣 she’s not even going to want to do that because she dislikes him for how he has treated me so no she doesn’t have to do that. Not her problem. That’s my responsibility. I told him I am trying and to give me time to balance out my new life and find solutions for everything.. that he will see them and I am trying but I need to settle down and get it all together for the benefit of the kids. To make sure they are ok… he won’t do the coparent apps although i convinced him so he can send me money because there is no other way… he can’t send me money. I need his help but there is no way. Also there’s only one bank here and the bank we still share.. he out in debt and.. well.. I’m fudged there 🤣. But back to topic… he is being excessive and we were living with him not toooo long ago and I’ve been unable to breathe with him just wanting to do tooo much!!! Also daily is excessive.. I think once a week would be perfect for me but after he posted our kids publicly more than once.. the first he posted our location and the other times he posted our ugly pictures I updated him with.. because I have not been able to take and share nice pictures so now I can’t even trust him because he is not respecting our privacy. What I will do is watermark the pictures otherwise I’m still scared because I don’t want him continuing to disrespect us. If he wants to share to ask me if he can and if I get the chance to get nice pictures not the ugly pictures I send that are not bad but just not good quality because I quickly took them so he* he* can see them because that was the point. Not his girlfriends who I’m protecting my kids from to see because I have a restraining order against her

Let me know what’s appropriate for toddlers and fathers or what has worked for yall!!

in our community

I’m not okay!!!

A month ago my man had a stroke. I am overwhelmed and fed up by taking care of him and the 2 kids all on my own. He won’t let me have family over so I can have help. I don’t know if I can handle this. Am I a bad person?

Child caregiver concerns

I don’t know if I’m being paranoid, but I have concerns about my nanny, who works for us 20 hours a week, and I’m not sure if I should ask her to stop.

1. She sometimes ignores my instructions regarding feeding (e.g., not burping the baby twice during feeds, even though the doctor advised this for his reflux), not doing leg exercises as requested and she does when baby is straining.
2. She ignored me twice when I said I wanted to bathe the baby (she only does it once a week).
3. Before we hired her, she said she enjoys cooking, but now she seems reluctant every time she has to cook for us.
4. She wants to take days off whenever she chooses and get paid more than half in cash and the rest with invoice.
5. She often asks to come with me wherever I go, even though I decline.
6. She arrives late after dropping off her child, although she says she will make up the time later and does stay longer on Fridays.
7. She avoids doing certain household tasks (e.g., she has never taken out the nappy bin or clean the nursery)
8. She mentioned she used to attend social events with children of other families and has suggested that now the weather is warmer, we could go to the park with the baby.
9. She has become too personal- she comments on my some of my clothes and accessories, and since I’ve travelled a lot, I sometimes feel she may be envious.

I don’t want her to attend mum-and-baby events with me, as I don’t need her in that context. I need someone to help me care for the baby, not a companion or entertainer.

I don’t trust her anymore. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

I hate my baby daddy

Was a little late to cleaning today because I’m 4-5 fucking weeks pregnant and I decided to take a shower. Somthing thats literally impossible with a toddler. I managed to get a little done but it wasn’t perfect. Sure. I decide to take my 2 year old for a walk and we notice her dad is home. At first I was going to let her walk and take her to the park but she missed her dad today so I decided to let her see him. Her dad gestures to the top of her head that has a bandaid (she likes to play with them, she’s 2). He’s visibly annoyed and he shuts his car off. He tells me to go back to the apartment (no hello or anything while my daughter is really happy to see him) and I say I was taking her to the park. Usually my daughter likes to walk around and play and it gets her energy out and helps her to sleep. He wants her to immediately go to the park and doesn’t let her explore even a little bit. When we get there, she’s barely there 10 minutes before hes telling us to go home. He tells me not to play a game with her (i tickle her back while singing the itsy bitsy spider) and he yells at our daughter to climb the stairs to our apartment. She starts crying and is upset, so I put her to sleep. He then starts cleaning and is making a lot of noise. Obviously he’s irritated. He comes into the room and says he’s throwing away everything he sees, and he throws away some of my things and a lot of my daughters toys. I’m in the middle of putting my daughter to sleep, but he tells me “if I want anything I better get it from him before he throws it away”. Mind you, my child is on top of me taking her first nap of the day. I’m so upset, I’m trying not to cry too loud but I’m so sick of this shit. Literally from the minute he saw me and my daughter he was annoyed. I know I’m not doing my best but this pregnancy on top of having a toddler is draining. I hate this. I dont know why I wanted a second kid with him

Childcare for when in labour

So... Is about the time to get ready! But what are people doing for childcare of older siblings when you have no friends or family around that can give a hand?? My mum is coming from my home country in a couple of weeks... But in the meantime what if...? 🫣

Is it time to break up?

I've been with my partner for just under 2 years and we have a 10 month old baby. We're both military and he's been away for 3 months but been back home a week. The time he was away I didn't miss him, didn't really think about him and I just enjoyed life with our baby.

Since he's been back I've just felt unable to rebuild that connection with him. He's pretty lazy and won't do anything I ask, I'm working and he's on annual leave for a few months. I'll ask him to do simple tasks whilst I'm at work like turning the washing machine on, I'll fill it before work so all he has to do is press start and he 'forgets'.

He is good with our baby, he does every bedtime, stays up with him if I have work the next day etc but I don't feel a connection with him

Without sounding harsh it's like he lacks common sense. He asks where the baby bottles are although they've been in the same place for 6 months, we have a tommee tippee travel blind and he put it up wrong as in he put the blind over the net curtain and ripped the net curtain down

I can say something to him and he just doesn't listen

Our baby has been unwell this week so they haven't been at nursery and he's been looking after him. I come home and there's meds everywhere and he's just sat on his computer or watching TV whilst the baby plays on their own

I honestly think I'm just mentally done with parenting him and our baby

Any thoughts or suggestions?

I'm making apple sauce

What other fruit would be good to add?
Except strawberries, I don't have any.