Lazy Parenting? Tell Me Why — Anyone Else?

I (SAHM) get really upset when my husband has the baby and he is crying. I will walk in to check on them and Husband is sitting down with Baby in his arms. As Baby cries, Husband is patting his diaper, but not doing much else. In my mind, Husband could be rocking, bouncing, swaying — ANYTHING! He says he tried all of that, but I’ve been hearing the cries escalate for 5-10mins; it’s not likely, in my mind, that he’s exhausted all of his resources in that amount of time.

It makes me so upset. I feel that he isn’t doing everything he can to comfort our kiddo, even if it’s just a bit of comfort to calm him until we can get the bottle prepared. I would, so why doesn’t he? It feels like an effort issue.

Help me out here. Alternate perspectives or validation appreciated.

in our community

Should I say something to this so called “friend”?

So I met this mom on here and it’s been about a year and a half. I’m 32, she’s 37 so little age difference plus, she’s in the middle of divorce and I’m a single mom… little backstory. Her kids are a year or two younger than mine but we all hang out and we all have fun. It’s been a while since we hung out, so last weekend we planned I will go pick her up because she doesn’t have her car right now due to an accident, and we would just go to the park with the kids. The morning of we text good morning, she’s having a good morning, I’m having a good morning and then our plans were set for 4pm so around the 12pm I texted her for her address to navigate my stops to get the snacks, her and get to the park. She responded 45 minutes later saying “ please don’t kill me, but I’m in a good cleaning groove so let’s reschedule.” I never responded. I was actually annoyed because you’re telling me that when I’ve been planning my whole day around our day…. And over cleaning? So now it’s been a week I haven’t heard from her. Should I just delete her? Should I say something? It is not fair for her to have access to me when she wants it and wants to vent but when it’s time to execute plans, she never participates and I don’t think that’s a good friend. When it’s time for her to vent, she will send me a book to read in our text messages and I read it all and I listen and I gave her the time but nothing is ever reciprocated..

Out of wedlock kids

Am I the only one that feels some type of way about giving my kids my partners last name out of wedlock? I’m pretty traditional as far as needing to be married to make a last name my partners. I just don’t feel right about not sharing a last name with my partner and then my children having his last name without marriage. My first son has my last name, my partner wasn’t happy about it when it happened and now I’m more than halfway pregnant with my second baby and I plan on giving her my last name as well. A part of me does feel bad because I feel like it is unfair to him, but also a part of me doesn’t sit right with knowing me and him don’t share a last name to begin with. I feel like he’ll be upset this time around as well but I’ve already expressed it multiple times that until there’s marriage I just don’t feel comfortable with my children having his last name when I don’t even have it. I don’t even feel right about having two kids with a man and not having his last name. Anyways a part of me feels like he just doesn’t even wanna marry me and that’s a big reason as to why I wouldn’t give them his last name to begin with. I just don’t feel hopeful about it being in the future or in the cards for us. I just feel like it’s not something that’s that important to him and it’s very important to me and we just don’t see eye to eye with marriage. We’ve only been together four years, anytime he has talked about it. It’s like a future future thing. I’m expressed that it doesn’t have to be anything expensive it’s just the principle in my beliefs that would make me feel more secure and loved. I know a lot of people might disagree and they do it for their partner anyways but for future reference, I just don’t wanna have to deal with any of my children having his last name when I don’t have his last name and anything could happen in the future as far as splitting up, and I’m not trying to deal with my children having his last name when they are children out of wedlock to begin with. I’m not an extremely religious person or anything, but my traditional beliefs as far as marriage are pretty stern and I just see myself being a woman that is married with children so I already having two children and not being married kind of feels like I failed in a sense. It’s starting to become a dealbreaker for me. I know I probably sound a little impatient, but two kids in 2 years happened really quickly and I feel like that’s much more of a commitment than marriage is. I’m not an extravagant woman that needs a $2000 ring or a big wedding or anything. It’s just a principle of the last name that changes a lot of things for me.

Am I the crazy one

So my husband emotionally cheated (sexted a friend of his who is a girl and it went on for just over a month)I found out about it and confronted him. He admitted it, apologized, and said he’d work to earn my trust back. Well last night I found out he was talking to an old ex of his from years ago and called her beautiful and asked why she hadnt become a model and said he must have a thing for nurses (she was a nurse and I’m a new nurse). I told him it bothered me that he called her beautiful. He says he’s doing nothing wrong. He’s also asked another female friend why he was only in the friend zone with her.

He told me I need to talk to someone about MY insecurities.

I told him I just don’t understand why he needs to text these women and have these types of conversation conversations with them. I told him if he just simply talked to them it would be one thing. I told him I was fine until I found out about the sexting. I also told him he said he’d work at earning my trust back but how am I supposed to trust him when he’s texting multiple women calling them beautiful.

We had mentioned getting divorced, but I told him I would rather try and work through our problems then have to put our kids through that. He said he was up for talking to a marriage counselor so I am working on that now, but haven’t been able to do anything about it for the last month because we lost our health insurance for a month because he switched jobs.

He also doesn’t like me talking to one of my guy friends who I dated like 12 years ago. Mind you my conversations contain nothing about “friend zone” or sexting because EWW and if I don’t want to be with someone I have the moral compass to leave them and not cheat. I haven’t talked to the friend/ex in over a month since he said he doesn’t like me talking to him as I’m trying to respect my husband.

I feel some days like I’m in a losing battle but other days I’m okay. I’m sure a lot of responses will say leave him but like I said I am trying my best to be an adult and work through the problem if it’s workable than have my children live in two different homes and have to go back-and-forth because they are very young.

Rawr!!

Is it just me or are kids' places immorally priced?

$20 for my 2 year old to play in some sand for ONE HOUR?! Are you out of your mind?! It's even worse if I have 3 kids! Am I missing something? How do these people sleep at night?! I'm sure it's the same situation where it just takes a few bad apples to ruin it for everybody. They have to price it with the worst kids in mind (most destructive/messy). And doesn't it seem ethical to give military discounts across-the-board? Let's take it easy on the moms/dads with spouses overseas! I'm sorry to post this, I just have nobody to talk to/share my gripes with.

Am I in the wrong?

I’ve got a 8 week old baby and my partner works full time in a job that is 7 days a week! He is home for breakfast, lunch and dinner and in from 6pm! I’m getting frustrated I feel like I do everything by myself and he has to be told what to do, he doesn’t come and take our baby out of my arms without having to be told or asking if that’s what I need. I currently don’t have the brain capacity to be teaching him how to do all of this when I learnt it all by myself. I tried to have some me time and go for a bath last night while he put the baby to bed (which I do everything night while he sits on the sofa) despite being shown the bedtime routine before he told me “I’ll sit and hold him and you can put him to bed once you’re out the bath”! Needless to say I didn’t bother with the bath because I just feel I’m always neeeded! He gets mad/upset when I try and express that I’m upset so I feel I can’t even speak to him!
Am I in the wrong for wanting more?

I just want it all the end!!!!

Im just ready to end it all. I ask for help im crazy, I reach out to so call friends and family nothing. Im drowning in my own thoughts. I talk about my feelings and my thoughts all day and all this man does is shake his fucking head. Im about ready to kick it off his fucking shoulders!!! I do not get a break from these kids. Im in the house all day every day. Im about to lose my shit!!!!