Toddler discipline...is it only spanking that works!?

Your child is 1, please don’t hit, spank, tap or pop your baby. It is not a form of discipline it is a form of abuse and teaches only fear.

A 1/2 year old is not advanced enough to even understand the concept of being naughty, they are navigating the world for the first time.

The best way to model behaviour right now is distraction. If they are doing something you don’t want them to, distract them with something else.

Right gentle parenting does NOT mean permissive parenting. It absolutely should still include boundaries and consequences. Spanking / hitting - which is rightfully illegal - is not the next step if an approach doesn’t work.

Consequences could include not being able to do the thing he wants to do, or being given a ‘time out’ (not naughty corner) aka space to feel those feelings and then when he’s ready to get back to playing or whatever he can. That’s what gentle parenting is, space for emotions. Smacking a child for feeling is just a bizarre way to act in my opinion. Like if you were upset or frustrated and then someone popped you? They’re tiny little people navigating the world as said above. Distraction, movement, explanation, consequence can all be included but physical punishment never has to become a part of it.

We use time outs and it is hard as she had meltdowns when we do but I would say persists is key.
So when she is naughty we give a warning if she does it again we put her in time out. When the time is up explain and she says sorry. It’s slowly working.

You don't need to negotiate to 'gentle parent' 🙈🙈🙈

That's why this trendy 'gentle parenting' doesn't work on kids. Cos it's permissive

Spanking is a lack of control. Good bosses /leaders don't spank their staff to get cooperation, they lead

Thry need calm, collective leadership . 'We are getting a bath as you need to be clean.' No further explanation needed. I think you did the right thing putting him in.

He is a toddler, he will test. They are built to test the boundaries. Stick to your guns and he'll know you won't budge

Distraction, not with their toys but something else.

I identify “high value” items for my 9 month old as a distraction. Currently he values: remotes, phones, bottles, cards, wallets etc.

These are things he doesn’t get to play with all the time.

100% no to spanking. The only thing it achieves in the long term is it breaks the relationship of trust that hopefully exists between you and your child.
I recommend listening to this podcast for some possible alternative approaches: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2lrPpgKMRL6z5OQMHBcbur?si=NdH4jMqsS8ibmIkC-m8jpg

He’s only young, he’s not programmed to listen yet! And tantrums are part of the deal of having young kids. It’ll come in time, you’ve just got to ride the wave. I like Bratbusters parenting advice. Deffo not hitting!!

You're talking about 3 different parenting styles here. Authoritarian - spanking. Permissive - negotiating and allowing the child to be in control of their surroundings. And authoritative parenting (gentle parenting). This is the one in the middle of permissive and Authoritarian.
As you said, he is testing boundaries, you did right by explaining its bath time and following through with the bath. To help ease that scenario, do you have a favourite toy he can take to the bath to play with. Maybe you can get in it (i usually sit on the edge and have my legs in the bath) so we can splash around ect. If he is really having am absolute meltdown (not just a regular tantrum that can usually be soothed with cuddles and distractions) then they are in fight ir flight mode so just get the bath or shower done as quickly as possible as best you can. Then work out if it was a once off or if there is an actual reason he doesnt want the bath. Is it a sensory issue (temp of the bath ect) is it not fun enough ect

Definitely no physical punishments. I think it creates a lot of confusion for the child, they don’t understand their feelings or why they’re being hurt. Getting hit teaches them that when their parent gets mad, they get hit. So maybe when they get angry too, they’ll think it’s okay to hit. That, or they live with a fear of “misbehaving”. There’s nothing wrong with being firm and giving him a bath when he needs it even if he’s unhappy.

I think it is great that you want to learn more about parenting approaches that would work for your son. But please get some parenting books and avoid Social Media as a source. There is too much noise there and long term will not help you get a clear and consistent approach.

Books I liked were "The whole brain child" and "How to talk so little kids will listen". Neither will completely erase the typical toddler behaviour, they are supposed to be difficult, but will help you cope during the phase with plenty of alternatives to spanking and shouting.

He is still very young. Toddlers are still processing and trying to control emotions, and can easily be overwhelmed. My 2 year old will decline bath time sometimes, I bath her anyway. While she cries, i sing, dance and make funny faces or reassure her. It easily distracts her from the cry. For discipline, When I say "no", I follow it up eg. No eating on the bed, I carry her to the table, thereby leaving no room for rebellion. Whatever you choose, make sure both parents are in sink, otherwise it will be a mess.

No need to bank. But also do not negotiate with Or lecture a toddler. Both of those things are for you and not them. They hit you you remove them and remove yourself and you say no. They run off when you tell them not to, you put them in a stroller and buckle them up. Let them scream. The consequence should match the action and then it’s over with. You don’t need to drag anything on and hitting the means you have no control. That’s gonna make all of your issues worse.

There's a ton of great advice here, especially the fact that permissive parenting and gentle parenting are very different. Another thing I think is worth mentioning is that a lot of the behavior changes with kids happens over a period of months. It takes time and consistency to start to see the changes. Short, to the point phrases are very helpful tools. You're going to sound like a broken record, but it's the repetition that will start to make that difference.

"In this house, we...." and then whatever the expected behavior is (take a bath every night, pick up our toys, put trash in the trash can, use kind words, use a kind voice, etc)

I saw a tip that I tried to implement, not always as consistently as I should, but I'm trying. It was a parent educator saying that you should only tell your kid to do something three times.

First, you get their attention and say it. The second time, you go over next to them and on their level and tell them. On the third time, you tell them the command again and you physically move them to follow the direction.

I also really like the respectful parenting podcast. I like her approach to things about how you should respect your child's personhood while still setting very clear and strict boundaries. The parent needs to be the one in control and that control needs to be established. And it's not about controlling the decisions the kid makes, but about being in control of the house.

Instead of spanking, we will do a time out. But the recommendation from our pediatrician was 1 minute per year of age. So it's a very short time out at this age. Honestly what we did at 2 was sit down on the rug by the door or some place away from toys and just help them count to 10 and then let them be about their business.

Giving them 2 choices that is not what you are actually trying to get them to do can be really effective. Gives them agency without risking what you are trying to do. Not, do you want to take a bath? But do you want the red boat or green car in the bath? Right now with our almost 4 year old his choice is to take a shower or bath.

Timers can help. Like in 5 minutes we are going to take a bath or go eat. Not always successful, but can be. Letting them choose the alarm tone.

Sometimes all of it fails. But again, we do a quick time out or quiet time and not spanking. Hope that helps!

It falls down to you mumma, whats your routine like? The most powerful effect is what you do. the child will follow thru. Kids are very smart. Especially at age 2. Talking to them everyday is very important. You say its hard to bath your baby 👶 put lil floaty toys in bath time routine make it interesting for them! He does understand. But it depends how patient you are? My daughter turns two in July shes a tuff girl. She draws by herself plays with her toys and eats her food by herself, breakfast, lunch, dinner. 🍽 all i do is prepare food everyday on the same time. She has her naps on same time sometimes routine can break if we have appointments but then you just keep up the traing when you get back home. My daughter she knows how to use a dust pan to clean cos she sees me cleaning alot. Kids they watch they learn. Hope this helps.😉🥰 keep up the good work dont go hard on yourself it will get better 🙏 ✨️ p.s you dont need your hit a kid to listen 😉 talking to him spend time, show love. ❤️

Spanking doesn't work for discipline. It only works for breaking your child and his relationship with you. Consistency, firm boundaries and age appropriate expectations from you works.