hey girlies! i wondered if anyone has been in a similar or is in a similar position to me.
i do not get along with MIL at all, when i was pregnant she made a lot of possessive remarks about my son and i brushed them off as during this time we were quite close but as soon as i gave birth to my son she started becoming way too much which broke the relationship between us.
she’d always make me feel like i wasn’t doing anything right when it came to my son, she also would take my son and say “you’ll love me more than your mum” just remarks that were madd to say to a mother who is postpartum.
there’s a whole lot more but we’d be here for days if i listed everything this woman said and did to me.
luckily we moved away (we were initially
living with her) but now she keeps begging my man to have my son once a week and i really don’t want my son around her especially one on one.
with how she acted when we was living with her and the things she’s said to me and behind my back i don’t trust her with my son. even though he’s too young to understand what she’s saying the thought of her sprouting negativity about me or playing mum with my son makes me feel uncomfortable.
i’ve managed to play the im breastfeeding so he can’t be away from me card but my man is starting to get persistent which is leading to arguments.
he knows how i feel about his mum and he knows all the things she’s said to me during the period we lived with her but he just keeps saying that’s still his mum and my sons grandma.
i understand that but she’s too obsessed with my son and it’s not right that she thinks it’s acceptable to talk down on me. she has no respect and i don’t want to be around her at all.
she made the first months of me being a mum so miserable, made me question myself a lot and just made me feel so shitty.
when i confronted my mans mum and his sister (his sister was also trying to play mum with my son) about the way they spoke to me and made me feel they didn’t own up or apologise and instead made it seem like it wasn’t that deep.
i just don’t know how i can get through to my man , i’ve expressed so many times how i feel and he just isn’t hearing it.
my man works very long hours so he doesn’t get back from work until around 9pm and he’s recently expressed that he will start getting his mum to reach out to me about our son.
she hasn’t yet messaged me but i plan to not reply 😭
i just don’t know how i can get through to my man. i don’t want to even do supervised visits because it will just be me and her and when we’re alone she uses that chance to start with her remarks.
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I can relate to the MIL - son toxicity.
She sounds abusive.
You can certainly refuse contact if you’re worried, keep all the proof of her actions.
What does your man say about it all? PM if you prefer

Your baby, your rules. You need to agree an arrangement with your partner that you both feel comfortable with. If you cannot agree then things should stay how they are now, no contact with MIL.
I have a little boy and there is no way he would be happy being left with a family member he has never seen. Let alone me being comfortable with it.
I would continue to have conversations with your partner and express your feelings. Could you maybe trying meeting in a neutral space all together? Maybe just for a coffee? You have no obligation to leave your baby with your MIL and I definitely would not based on past behaviour.