New single mums / mums struggling/ single mums

Co-parenting New Jersey

Hello , I’m currently 13 weeks pregnant and my BD seems to think once the baby gets here he’ll be taking her to his home a month after birth . I’m planning on breastfeeding the baby. He isn’t consistent and constantly express how his family members tell him he doesn’t owe me anything or has to help during pregnancy. He doesn’t show up when I express I’m not feeling well nor does he show concern but he wants to name the baby and also be there during birth . I just hate having to share my baby and he’s making it difficult by talking about shared time and holiday schedules . Has anyone went through this and know like what the courts typically do ?? He also smokes weed everyday and refuses to stop and stays out until past 12 am a lot which I don’t believe is great for a newborn .

in our community

Please be honest with me ..

My daughter was crying in car the whole drive home. My husband tells her to shut up and I tell him not to say that to her. He then goes on basically saying I’m a bad mom because I don’t let him parent because I told him not to tell her to shut up. (4years old) he says if he was the one staying at home (SAHM)she would be acting that way (crying all the way home) am I a bad parent who doesn’t let him parent because i tell him not to tell her to shut up? He then tries to justify it by saying growing up his parents told him to shut the F up and hit him and tells me I don’t know how your parents raised you etc .. continues to tell me do your duty teach them good values, etc..does this whole situation raise a question that I’m a bad mom? And am I just being sensitive because I didn’t like how he told her to shut up?

Would you get annoyed at your sister?

So our hot water wasn’t working, as the boiler pressure was down.
I called to report it, and the landlord was telling me that we should try boiling hot water, and putting it in a plastic container and washing ourselves in the kitchen ( as I said I don’t want to carry boiling water to the bathroom with two small kids). ( as a temporary fix while someone comes to repair).

And I told my mum who was with me ( my mum was in a group call with my sister and aunts). And my sister said they tried tricking you guys, and we said no, and she said they tricked Bethany ( meaning me).

It’s fine if she just said it to me, but they were on a group call with other aunties! I felt so undermined. I got annoyed saying what trick are you talking about! So now the aunts gonna think I’m disrespectful?

Urine sample

The gp has asked for me to get a urine sample from my 7 month old girl!
Please any tips and tricks as sitting with a pot infront of her with no nappy and waiting might send me round the bend 😂

shop run

does it make me a bad mum if i was to lock the door and run to the shop for milk? The shop is literally on my door step, no more than 10 steps from my front door.

How to grow?

How do you stay progressive when you are a mother?

It almost feels impossible at times. Almost like my goals have stopped, meaning while my partner chases his.

I feel like I'm falling behind.

I always aimed for a promotion every 2 years or would move jobs for more money.

Maternity leave was soo bad and I have alot of unexpected cost which left me in debt. I have only just managed to clear it.

But the reality is being a mum comes and wife comes with alot of mental load. Don't get me started on working a job. Theres no time to feed into myself, my goals or even think about what's next for progression.

How do you stay progressive? (level up in life?

Like at this stage of life, are you where you thought your be?

I honestly thought I would have multiple streams of income. But I'm struggling mentally with this 1 currently have.

Getting out with baby

As a first time mum, im struggling to get out the house as I dont want baby to cry. I keep seeing people out shopping or coffee dates etc but the most weve managed are walks in the park close to home. It feels so difficult getting out when baby is either unsettled or constantly needing changed or fed. Sometimes baby falls asleep on a walk but more times lately he just wails and i nothing can console him so we rush home. Baby is 7 weeks and I just dont know how we get there?