Sleep deprivation/hormones = poor relationship??
Really struggling at the moment. I’m nearly at week 7 and alongside my baby who still won’t settle at night due to reflux/wind, barely settles in the day unless being held/carried, and is taking an hour to feed through crying/gagging at the bottle I feel like I’m going through intense PMS.
My mood swings are crazy and I find if I can get nothing done in the day except feed my LO, I’m so so stressed which makes me naggy with my partner when he comes home from work - he thinks just holding her while I can do other house bits is helpful (which it is, but if he could muck in and do housework too that would be great)
Me and partner are still sleeping separately, he’s downstairs on a mattress and I’m upstairs with LO trying to settle her all night. This was fine except now it’s making me feel so disconnected from my partner.. I don’t feel like we’re a team and just passing ships.
Friends have offered to baby sit for a night so we can go to the cinema, but I’d feel so guilty leaving her, has anybody else left their 7 week old for a date night?
Me and partner have barely held each other since LO was born, never mind sleep in the same bed and DEFINITELY haven’t done the deed.. as much as I’d like to be intimate again, the thought of doing this with her in the next to me?? Would that not be weird?
Just feeling a bit lost and like me and partner won’t find each other again. Someone please tell me we will, and that I will eventually exit robot mum personality and become a bit of myself again ☹️ feeling so unattractive with my new saggy unwashed body while partner resumes his almost back to normal life.
Can anybody relate and tell me this all gets easier?
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I can 100% relate to you ❤️ My baby is 7 weeks and I am going through exactly the same as you. I could have written your post myself. I'm drained from the lack of sleep. I'm up for about 4 hours each night and my husband usually sleeps throughout. He helped me out tonight with the burping and the settling but I still snapped and made it unpleasant. I'm sorry I can't tell you if it gets easier, but I'm completely with you on this one. Please feel free to send me a message - if would be nice to have someone going through the same thing x
Reflux is hard and we had a lot of it with my first, we are getting the same with my second. Honestly I feel a lot of the same as what you are feeling too. Is your husband willing to help in the night or early morning/late night feed? We found a tag team approach works for nights. He will wake up with me and do nappy while I prep a bottle, then hubby goes back to sleep while I give the bottle and settle her. If it's been a rough night and the older one has woken us etc. He will do the early morning bottle while I get an extra hours rest. Would it help to designate one feed to your husband in the evening too so it's not just holding baby but he takes over routine at that time. My husband does after dinner to 8pm so I can sort my older child out and get him to bed. This gives me a bit of a break.
It honestly does get better!! You are in the trenches right now but it will not last forever (I have a 4 year old and an 8 month old and the second time round has been so much easier having come through it once!)
I think we went on our first date night after about 3 months and we left him with my mum who has worked in childcare for her whole life so it felt safe 😂
It sounds like if it's possible for your situation, your husband could be doing more to support you and take things off your plate. It's hard but I think you should try and tell him what you need (for example, him doing the chores not just allowing you to) I know it's hard to find the time for anything except survival at this point but try and come at it like a collaborative conversation about how you best work together rather than getting into a fight. Some good advice I got was that it's you both against a problem, not against each other.
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