Postpartum depression

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some perspective because I’m really struggling after an argument with my partner about parenting.

For some background, I have been diagnosed with postpartum depression. When my son was just over 3 months old, I was hospitalized for 6 weeks for treatment. I’ve worked incredibly hard on my recovery and continue to do my best every day to be the best mum I can be.

This morning, our son was unwell and needed to see the GP. My partner said he couldn’t take him because of work. I asked if he could feed our son breakfast while I made something to eat for myself, as I had a migraine and needed to eat before we left.

He tried to feed him quite forcefully, which made our son upset and frustrated. I took over feeding him. By that point, I was also overwhelmed. When our son started crying, I lost my temper, kicked his high chair, and threw a bottle cap at the wall. I regret reacting that way, and I’m not proud of it.

Later, at bedtime, our son’s usual bedtime is 7 p.m. He generally settles easily with me, but he rarely settles with his dad. Instead of actively trying to soothe him, my partner left him awake in the crib and didn’t try to settle him. I ended up taking over again because I didn’t want our son to become more distressed.

After I told my partner that these situations left me feeling like I was carrying the responsibility for our son’s care on my own, we had a heated argument. During that argument, he questioned why I’m not like “normal mothers,” asked why I am “mental,” and said our son would be better off without a mother like me. When I asked him to repeat that last statement so I could record it, he refused and then said he hadn’t said it.

Those comments have completely shaken me. Given my history of postpartum depression, hearing those words from the person I expected to support me has been devastating.

I’m not posting this to prove who’s right or wrong. I know I handled my own frustration badly this morning, and I take responsibility for that. I’m genuinely looking for constructive advice. Am I expecting too much in wanting parenting responsibilities to be shared? Has anyone else experienced something similar, particularly when recovering from postpartum depression? How would you handle this situation?

in our community

WWYD in this situation? (Trigger as racism)

I come from the gypsy community but married out of it. I would still class myself as a gypsy with my morals, values and the way I hold myself. I’m still in contact with all my family who are English gypsies.

So my husband. I told him what I was from day one and he was fine about it whatever. I’ve recently had a baby and I’m dressing my baby traditionally and buying him jewellery ect and I will raise him speaking our language and hold him to the same values and tradition that I come from.

My husband is now making comments “why is it always from your side” “I’m not raising my child that way” another stupid one is I wanna be called mam but he REFUSES to call me it and calls me mummy or mom.

My husbands family are the same they will use racist remarks and I’ve heard them say “that’s so pikey” which is a racial slur towards us. When I told his family I’ve been looking at jewellery to get him they said “uh isn’t that a bit chavvy? Is that the gypo in you coming out” and I said well yeah he is a gypsy boy and they went to say “yeah HALF HALF”

It’s driving me mad. I want to raise him how I was raised and I told my husband this but now it’s becoming a serious problem in the relationship. I don’t mind him having some “normal” behaviours as his family are already making plans to do with my son in the future (another issue as they think they have so much control over him but didn’t give a shit when I was pregnant) but to me family come before anything and I want my child to be close to both parts of his family not just mine. I don’t see the issue with raising him half and half but it seems to me now that my husband and his family have a massive problem with it to the point where I’m ready to tell them all to fuck off. How can they use racist terms that reflect their own grandchild?????

What would you do? I’ve already said my child is half and they’re still having issues. Me and my husband are still very much inlove and we do get on well he’s nothing but good to me in all other terms this is the only issue that we have.

I just now feel stuck.

I feel like we already have a lot of racism towards us I don’t need it coming from so called family too :)

Daughters key person is my high school bully 💀😭

So my daughter has been at the same nursery since she was 11 months old (now 3) and it’s an absolutely brilliant setting and has been since she started, her older sister left last year for primary school and when the preschool kids left, so did some of the staff (one went on mat leave and another retired) so they’ve had a reshuffle of staff and obviously taken on new staff… we recently got letters to say that my daughters key person was changing to a new person (for the sake of this I’ll call them Jenna).

It’s a very rare name and idk how I didn’t catch on to it being the same person because I had just forgotten she existed for the last 10 years but I dropped my little girl off on Monday morning and lo and behold, it’s the girl who terrorised me for 5 years straight in high school. And I’m not just talking your basic name calling, I mean like actively attacking me on the way home essentially daily for years, telling me to SH and started countless rumours about me being a boy because I was flat chested amongst other things 💀

I recognised her straight away and as soon as I said something about my little girl, she looked at me and asked if she knew me because she recognised me 💀 i just stood there like… ummm, maybe we went to school together but otherwise idk? Idk I panicked 😂 obviously she didn’t say anything but I was just stood there like 👀 so now I’m sort of in a weird limbo of never mentioning it because that would be stupidly awkward and just sort of saying I recognise her and getting it over with because I have to see this woman every day now until my daughter goes to primary school and I just cba 😭💀

Has anyone dealt with this before and what did you do 💀

Screen time

Hey everyone! I need some advice/ help 😂
So we’ve got to that stage where my 20 month old will have meltdowns if she’s watching something on our phones and we take it away from her. I know in the first place we shouldn’t give it to her but the reason why we have is because we’re out in a restaurant and she’s just moaning and it makes me feel guilty for other customers in the restaurant. I have tried books, colouring/paper, toys etc etc but she’s not interested in that, just wants to watch something 😖 she also won’t eat dinner (even at home) unless she is watching something which is a bad habit we’ve got into and we’re trying to get out of it, any tips/tricks/ help/ advice would be very much appreciated! 😂😩

HEEELP😭😭😭😭

I was holding my baby with one arm and eating with the second one when he arched his back and thrown his head backwards. I quickly grabbed him but he started crying so bad and I’m not sure if it was the fork I thrown or his back but I heard a click. He settled down in a few minutes but I’m scared I hurt my baby.
He’s been awake over an hour when it happened, then I fed him and he fell asleep and he woke up after 10 minutes. He’s fussy and I’m not sure if it’s because he wants to sleep or he’s in pain. He’s with the dad now.
Please someone tell me it will be fine, I can’t stop crying 😭😭😭😭

Wanting to be completely alone during birth

Is it weird/selfish that I want to be completely alone during birth? For my peace. I just want silence and to enjoy the moment. And I mean.. phone on complete “do not disturb” and no visitors, (including friends and family).

The father is 10 hours away he plans to get a flight or drive down during my labor, I just moved here last month to escape dv from him so tbh I’m not so comfortable with him there. I almost lost this baby multiple times because of him. I’m not gone go to much into it. I know it’s his son as well and I shouldn’t take that moment from him but I really need peace and don’t want my birth to be ruined or to be stressed.

Should I just allow him to come or would I be selfish if I didn’t?

Nursery age

What age did everyone put their lo in nursery and do you recommend that age? Or if you’ve had multiple children starting at different ages which worked best?