Feeling excluded by other mums
I work for the police force, however I am not a police officer, I work in CCTV and surveillance.
There's a group of mums that attend my daughters playgroup and sometimes after playgroup we would all go for a coffee at the cafe around the corner.
I noticed recently that I stopped being invited, I was driving out the carpark a couple weeks ago and saw all the other mums walking down the road towards the cafe. It got me a bit upset honestly and I had a little cry on the way home but I tried to just convince myself they'd forgotten to invite me or maybe decided to go last minute when I was already in my car. But tbh I did feel like a couple of the mums didn't like me, I tried my best to chat with them but they weren't very warm or chatty to me.
We were all at playgroup yesterday and I was talking to one of the mums who I'm closest with and I asked if they were going for coffee afterwards and she seemed a bit awkward and she was like "well S is organising it, maybe ask her"
S is one of the mums who doesn't seem to like me very much.
It felt so childish like surely we don't all need her permission??
I went along anyway and immediately felt out of place and like everyone was actively trying to ignore me, even the mums who I am friendly with. Like I was definitely crashing the coffee date.
The only reason I can think of is my job. I had mentioned it a while ago and one of the mums said "oh watch out, don't say too much in front of this one!!" And then another had mentioned in a joking way that I might know S's man (at first i thought maybe through work but I quickly realised they were implying that he's some sort of petty criminal)
They were all laughing about it and never really brought it up again but since them I've noticed a shift and I can't think of any other reason to exclude me.
Honestly it's got me really down and I've spent a lot of today thinking about it and I'm trying to look for a different playgroup to go to with my daughter. I had a wee cry to my husband last night and he says I've just to ignore them and keep going because our daughter really enjoys it and it's so close by, but I don't think he understands that most of the reason I go is to try and make mum friends.
If you financially didn't *need* to work, would you still?
I'm not talking millionaire status, but if you had enough money to live comfortably, maybe your partner earns enough if you're in a relationship, or you have savings or something, plenty to live a comfortable life, go on holidays/vacations and buy your kids nice things. Would you still work or would you be a SAHM? Even if you have a small baby/toddler?
