I want another babyš„ŗ
So I have a 1yr old little boy and due another in December. The age gap was a lot smaller than what we had in mind originally but of course went along with it and weāre so excited for our next baby. However. When we found out we were having another so soon both me and my partner said this would be it as itās such a short space and of course will take up our next few years!
But.
I canāt help but feel sad about this being my last pregnancy. I donāt want it to be. Iāve hinted and joked about having another in the future and my partner positively shuts it down and says weāre not having anymore. I know I havenāt had this one yet but I can just feel that Iām not done, however Iād never want to force that onto my partner either. Iām 27 in April and didnāt want anymore babys after 30 originally so do you think maybe he could change his mind over time? 2 under 2 is a lot to process especially when it wasnāt the plan but I feel like once things are settled and weāre into routine I see no reason why not š„¹ā¹ļøš
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
I have a 1 year old a 2 year old and Iām due my 3rd and final little boy in 6 days and I couldnāt be happier I always said I didnāt want more kids but at the same time seeing how close my boys are seeing how exited everyone is to meet the new baby I woudnt change my decision for the world Iām not having anymore tho after this one but having 3 under 3 is like a dream come true
Why dont you want more after 30? I had my 1st at 41 š
Just dont rule it out, give him some space and reintroduce the idea in a few years
You've only got a one year old right now. You don't even know what it's like having two š or a toddler haha. In my experience partners are often more open to having further children when they're more out of the baby stage- toddlers talk, play more, they're not just a responsibility that you have to look after you know? Which makes them more interesting, they get more out of the relationship. I'd just try to focus on the children you're about to have and give it time while you adjust. You don't want to be in the 2 under 2 trenches and going on at him about wanting more, I actually think that would achieve the opposite.
I'd personally table it until they're both older and bring it up then. If he still doesn't want more, then you work through it together, unless you want more kids more than you want your relationship then you think about what you want to do with the future.
Heās more likely to change his mind once the kids are a lot older, and Iām talking like 5-10 years, so you need to be open to being an older mum for the next onešwhatās he going to do, get the snip? If heās not going to actually take action to prevent the babies then maybe heās more open than he makes out x
Trending
in our community
Guilt over leaving children so late
Hi all - itās 4am and Iām crying over feeling guilty for leaving children so late in life (40). Itās my biggest regret, but it wouldnāt have been the right time for me any earlier. My baby is 6 months.
Iām feeling guilt that my child potentially will only have me until their 40s, maybe 50. That Iāll leave this earth while he still needs his mother. Iām being stupid because I canāt do anything about it.
Anybody in the same boat with any words of wisdom?
2
13
Partners
Does anybody else / has anybody started to resent their partner?
We have 2 babies 11 months apart, he does 4 on 4 off at work, (2 days & 2 nights) anyway, Iāve started to not like him being around him or anything. For the fact of I do everything for the kids with no help.. he never gets up with them, brings them out for the day, lets me have a break even for a few hours.. I canāt remember the last time I was able to breath on my own š. (Btw I love being a mam!) but it would be nice to have a little help.. I feel like a single mum in a relationship with there dad š
2
5
How do I talk to my partner about how im feeling
Ive always had difficulty expressing how I feel and talking about things. Lately ive felt more irritated at my partner because of the things he dose or says. For context he works sometimes long hours as a plumber and he is the only one able to work right now. We got pregnant pretty soon into our relationship and didnt move in together until a month before our son was born. He was behind on bills due to his ex and had alot of debt because of that. He also had to get a new car, so the bills just kept coming. We live in my parents basement that is an apartment so we dont have ro pay rent thankfully but we are still hardly making it. With his car payment and insurance and credit card debit, being paid weekly really puts us in a bind. I have no clothes that fit me except for a few things and both of our shoes have holes in them. I have been telling him for months to get new shoes but he just refuses. Says it to difficult to find because of his shoe size. We was going to use our tax return to pay off most of this stuff but we have had such a difficult time with that and still haven't gotten it. Hes always making comments like " we are never going to get it so why even think that we will" or we will always live paycheck to paycheck it is what it is.
We try to budget and do what we can to save but its just not enough. Lately he has started to make comments about our sons birthday which is less then 3 weeks away at this point in time and saying things like we are going to have to host it here we cant rent a place when there is to much we need here at the house. And people are just going to have to use their imagination because we are not going to have anything there. I personally have been planning his party abd have been putting money away so we can get a few things like a smash cake and decor for his high chair. Now he is saying he wants to use that money to get him shoes because he cant keep putting it off and that has me really irritated because I have this hole plan and been saving for about 2 months so we can have some things. I dont know what to do. I definitely dont want to have it here. We had our gender reveal here and it was so stressful. I just want to rent a place for 2 hours have our village show uo and celebrate our son. How do I talk to him about this without my irritation coming though.
1
8
I donāt think my husband *likes* me
Some context on our dynamic.
I met my husband shortly after my daughter was born from a previous relationship. He was so kind and perfect, and we got married after three years. Everyone told me I was settling. I have a great career, and heās unemployed/ does odd jobs. I bought our house (before we were married, in my name only) and I pay all the bills, fund all his hobbies, and I also take care of the kids (when he watches them he calls it ābabysittingā) and do all the house work (after our marriage her decided all house work is the āwomanās jobā). At first he maintained the harder things, like cleaning the gutters and cutting the grass, but now I do all that as well, because he bitches and refuses to, and it needs to be done.
All he does is call me lazy and worthless and says Iām not āpresentā enough but Iām working myself thin. I work 60 hours a week and had to take on a second job because he wouldnāt work one job, yet he keeps racking up our debt and making a point to bring home new pets without talking to me and then using the kids to keep me from yelling at him, and then the conversation is just over. We have 6 dogs now, and 3 kids, but the thing is Iām solely responsible for all of them, financially, emotionally, and physically. Every pet he brings home means more mess, more pet hair, more time walking/feeding/bathing/etc. and I do it all. I have no friends, no time to be myself, and no time to relax. Iām on my feet from 5am to 11pm every day, while he takes a 3 hour nap, eats everything in the house (a month worth of groceries can be gone in 1 afternoon) and recently he just keeps making large purchases without talking to me (he bought a boat last week).
Now hereās the thing. I donāt even think he likes me, let alone loves me. He wants to everything alone. Everything we shared while dating (hobbies interests etc) he keeps but doesnāt want to do with me. I suggest a sitter so I can have a night off and we can do date night and he says Iām a bad mom for pawning the kids off and that it was my choice to have kids (two are biologically his, and he made the choice to be with me knowing I had a child). He doesnāt want us going with him camping like we loved to do when the kids were younger, and he only goes alone or with friends. He acts like sharing a bed with me is a chore, every win or success I have he gets incredible angry over and acts like Iām the problem. He knows I donāt have a family, but tells me to cry to them everytime Iām upset. I try to talk about my day and he tells me to shut up/he doesnāt care. He tells me all the time he wishes he the kids and I didnāt exist. Says we ruined his life. Calls me spoiled when I ask for *anything* (could literally say I need to go to the doctor and he flips out and says Iām selfish and spoiled). He tells me everyone hates me and thatās why his friends and family donāt come to our house anymore.
I really believe he genuinely hates us. But then when I bring up separating or tell him how I feel, he acts SHOCKED that I feel this way, tells me he loves me and itās ridiculous he even needs to say that because Iām his wife, and then when I try to explain why he turns it around with this whole āoh Iām always the problem!ā Speech that he has memorized.
I tried talking to his mom, who said heās always been like this and she has no advice. She said she thought he changed when he met me because he got a lot better (the man I loved) but that after our kids were born she noticed him slipping up and going back to old self. I told her I canāt do this anymore but I donāt know what to do and she said she has no advice for me. Idk what to do
1
18
My son is pooping in the bath
I need suggestions i think ive waited too long to start potty training and my son keeps pooping in the bath even when I try to get him on the toilet he just cries and pushes away, then eventually poops in the bath. What should I do? ive potty trained kids before but never encountered this.
6
Boyfriends family
My boyfriends family keep getting in his head about me being a stay at home mom. Him and I both agreed this is what we wanted because we dont want to send the baby to daycare. His family is making it a big deal about him bringing in the only income. My boyfriend makes more than enough to support us so we are not struggling at all. Anyone else dealing with this situation and how do you deal with it. Its messing with me mentally and makes me feel horrible on a daily basis.
16
Download the Peanut App
