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Stay At Home Mamas 🤍

Husband seems uninterested in being a father or husband

Idk, this is just a rant because I have no friends or family to talk to or rant at.

My husband is so uninvolved and disinterested in the kids and even me.
When hes home he's either sleeping, outside smoking, or talking on/scrolling on his phone.
The kids try to get his attention and he'll ignore them, either completely or until they say papa like 7 times, and if he does answer them he does it in an annoyed way.
He never wants to play with them, and if he does it's on his terms, and he will criticize the kids/get kind of pissed off for wanting to play/act a bit crazy.
He's overly critical of everything, it seems lately he only criticizes and complains. He can't even wake up and just say good morning to everyone, he has to have a complaint right as he comes down. The bathroom garbage is full, the soap dispenser is empty, the walls in the hallway are dirty, one of the kids left clothes on their bedroom floor. Every single time he wakes up or comes home he has to have a complaint.
He also is the most picky eater, but denies he is, and will routinely not eat what I make for the kids or myself. Then complain theres nothing he likes in the house, but every time we go shopping I ask him if he wants anything specific, he says no. So I get things I know he likes in hopes he will eat it, but he will not sometimes. He only like 1 type of meat and its the most expensive one in the shops, so he doesn't want to spend the money on it, but then he will be upset when there's "nothing in the house for him to eat"

The one thing I expect him to do is bedtime, he's been doing it for years, but has gotten lazy with it. He wants to just go upstairs and sit on his phone until the youngest sleeps. He expects them to get ready for bed by themselves(5 and 8) without reminders and without help from him and in under like 5 minutes. Literally the older one will go into the bathroom and 10 seconds later he's yelling for them to hurry up and go to bed.
Or he decides to go out right before bedtime and just do nothing.

After bedtime he still just want to scroll his phone or talk to his friends on the phone. We're literally sitting outside together, I always put my phone down when he comes to sit with me so he knows I'm present and ready for interaction, but a lot lately he comes looking at his phone and remains looking at his phone, without even saying anything or looking at me. He will answer briefly if I say something, or try to mansplain things to me that I was talking about.
It feels like he just shits on the things I like. For example I like One Piece, I'm not obsessed but I really enjoy it and watch it every day when I'm cooking. He complains that I watch One Piece so much. One time he said "after you catch up with the current episodes thats enough" meaning I should stop watching it. Once I got to the current episodes, I started watching from the beginning again. I like to do puzzles and I make jewelry and he won't even sit in the same room with me while I do something. He doesn't like TV shows and only really likes war movies which I will sit though without complaining, but he will not sit through a movie I like without shitting on it in some way. My favourite movie he said was stupid and had no point. I stopped even wanting to try to watch something with him because he just makes me feel bad for liking the things I like.

He says he's fine, just stressed(he's been out of work for literally 5 years and is just dragging his ass now that he has to get a job)

Its sad when the guy next door has spent more time with the kids(he has a kid the same age as our youngest thats friends with my kids) in the past week than their father has. And any time he did spend with them he was not present, he was not fun, he was not happy, he was not playful, he was not engaged at all.

I feel like a robot, just doing what I have to do and not expecting anything from him except more hassle. This is a man who will ask me to call a bunch of auto shops for him looking for a car part instead of doing it himself.

Ok I'm tired of ranting now. I'ma go cry in the bathroom for a bit now.