In law anxiety
I’m a FTM and since my LO was born (he’s 10 weeks currently) my MIL has insisted that she wants to spend the night with him, and keeps saying ‘you can leave him with me, just give me some bottles’. I’m no longer expressing and only direct BF and I have also told her that I am not comfortable yet with my baby spending the night away from me. I have also told her I am no longer expressing so that wouldn’t be an option anyway. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around why she would assume I would be comfortable being away from my baby so soon. Its giving me anxiety that if and when I decide to wean my baby that she will expect me to be okay with this and I still don’t think i’ll be comfortable with this in the future. Has anyone else experienced this?
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I am also a FTM and EBF. My in-laws are lovely & very supportive. They have mentioned that when he is taking bottles they are more than happy to have him over for the night or even take him for 1-2 hours in the meantime. I'm not comfortable with that.
My mum has also said she is very happy and ready for a sleepover when I am ready.
I am lucky in that they don't pressure me in any way and are understanding, but this is your baby. Try not to feel anxious about it, these are your decisions to make and it's a big deal. This is a tiny human that you have grown and then has been dependant on you for their entire existence. Don't feel rushed by someone else to be ready. You will be ready when you are ready (and even then it will probably feel anxiety inducing and wrong and will take time to build comfortability with!).
If she doesn't respect that then that is a different conversation that needs to be had and hopefully your partner can also support with this x
I am sorry I have an opinion on that, I just think its soo weird and backward. When our parents, especially my inlaw said that to me !! I mean I dont sleep next u !! baby would not want to sleep next to u! the baby can not concent to anything. how on erth am I ever going to be ok with that ? even when he is teenager, I would not be ok with that. especially if its forced
Not a chance... baby this small needs your closeness and smell to settle and feel safe. The little one doesn't know yet they are a separate entity from you. If your inlaws can't understand it then it's their problem... your mil is not entitled to the baby as she wishes just because she's grandmother. The nights aren't just giving bottles and it's not as easy as she remembers. My in-laws didn't express a want of having a sleepover but expect us to move our baby's routine when they want us to visit, for example last year's Christmas they wanted to have the festive dinner at 8pm (we are celebrating the Christmas eve). In their understanding we should bring everything to put baby to sleep, set the baby monitor, have dinner and adjust to them, not the 4 month old at the time...
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In law anxiety
I’m a FTM and since my LO was born (he’s 10 weeks currently) my MIL has insisted that she wants to spend the night with him, and keeps saying ‘you can leave him with me, just give me some bottles’. I’m no longer expressing and only direct BF and I have also told her that I am not comfortable yet with my baby spending the night away from me. I have also told her I am no longer expressing so that wouldn’t be an option anyway. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around why she would assume I would be comfortable being away from my baby so soon. Its giving me anxiety that if and when I decide to wean my baby that she will expect me to be okay with this and I still don’t think i’ll be comfortable with this in the future. Has anyone else experienced this?
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