Sleep training
Since she is going through the 4-month sleep regression, we decided to try sleep training because I really want her to learn how to self-soothe and put herself back to sleep.
We tried the Ferber method. We let her cry for 3 minutes, then went in and tried to calm her down. She cried for another 5 minutes, so we went in again to try to settle her, and then stopped after another 3 minutes because she was crying so much and was making herself almost sick.
The main problem we have is that she wakes up almost every hour at night and wants to breastfeed for comfort so she can fall back asleep. I just want her to learn how to self-soothe and connect her sleep cycles.
But honestly, the sleep training felt so cruel. Even when we went in to comfort her, I couldn't really calm her down.
Has anyone had a similar experience? What worked for you? Should I try sleep training again tomorrow, or give her a break and try a different approach?
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At four months try teaching the skills during the day, not at night. Her sleep is going through a massive maturation (not a regression, despite what it’s commonly referred to). Use naps to teach her to self soothe so that they can start to use those skills at night time too. Unfortunately, the night time will come but it’s just going to be harder.
We do not do crying training. We’ve been using each of her naps to get her to settle herself. We pop her in her cot, let her babble etc. If she gets upset, we soothe initially with a hand on her chest, and escalate up to holding her if we need to. It only took a week or so before she went from only contact napping to now being put down awake and putting herself to sleep - three out of four of her naps a day are solo. The forth is trickier because her sleep pressure is just too low right now so I still get one contact nap a day.
Oh good, I just feel so awful now. I thought it was okay to start at 4 months, and I feel so bad for letting her cry. I’ll definitely try during the day with her naps. I won’t let her cry it out again. Thank you
They recommend to no earlier than 4 months. We started around 4 months just as the regression was starting for her.
We used the faded method. Put her down drowsy, hand on chest, rocking her hips gently, patting at the same time and shushing. Slowly we faded it all out bit by bit. Stopping the rocking first. It took about 3/3.5 weeks but now I can put her down awake and she goes to sleep herself ☺️
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“Despite what people call it, this is not a regression. She is not going backwards, she is learning something new.”
“She is a baby doing baby things - sometimes they don’t make sense”
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“I can only help give her the foundations to get through this, this is something she will learn for herself, in her own time.“
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“I will sleep again.” (Probably the most important one)
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