please tell me it gets easier

i have a 2years and 4months old, and a 9 week old. My partner works shifts, this week he’s been on late lates so i’ve been doing basically everything myself as he’s not home until 10pm-1am. I’m loosing my mind. I’m completely alone; loosing my rag at my toddler and i can’t bear holding the baby while he screams at me. They are both incredibly low-sleep-needs-children and I cannot bear having so little time to myself. I’ve not brushed my teeth for about four days. Not showered in a week. The only time I get to myself I genuinely just scare at the ceiling and disassociate. I hate every part of this phase and if i hear “you’ll miss it one day” i think i’ll actually bounce my head off a wall. I’m not enjoying it at all, i don’t feel like a good mother and im barely getting through the days. if i had anyone around that i could call so i could just leave for a few hours i would but theres no one around me.

If you have two babies, please tell me it gets easier, will it be when the boys can start interacting more, or playing together? I don’t know how long I can be in this tug of war of them both needing me constantly and i feel like a complete fucking failure. I’m at a point where I just don’t want to do this anymore. Is that normal or am i a really really shit vile mom?

in our community

No village , what do we do ?

My husband and I moved from Florida to Minnesota in Dec 2023. We had been trying for years for a LO and just left it to fate. If we were meant to have one , it’ll happen. Well it did , one year exactly after moving here. She’s 14 months now and the sunshine of our lives. The thing is we are alone here , we have our best friends but they are DINKS. So they aren’t too sure what to do or say to help us. What did you do ladies to build up a foundation ? It’s so hard breaking into these groups that have grown up together and making new friendships as an adult feels impossible. It has really made my husband pause and think should we actually try for a second baby? I would love another child , but he’s worried about us being here alone. I don’t want that fear to stop us from adding another best friend to our family. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. A picture of our sunshine ☀️

is this bad

i don’t really talk to my kids my kids are 4 2 and 1 i don’t even talk to them like often i don’t even know how i don’t know if part of it is that i have social anxiety no friends and introverted i just have nothing to say and idk what to talk to them about lol is that just me or something i notice when they go to my moms house she talks to them constantly and plays games with them like something out an episode of bluey😭i just don’t have it in me to do all that and i would never make anything like that up

Need advice

Hi,

I hope you're all well.

I'm looking for soma advice if anyone has been in the same situation.

My little one is 3 months old, my partner has just started a new night shift job to try support me more ( hasn't worked out yet as he's sleeping all day because he's tired) and has reconnected with some old friends. He's told me that they take cocaine all the time, even at work. This weekend he had gone out with them, I'd asked him about the cocaine and he had said he's not doing it, even got defensive and mad telling me to leave it.

After checking his phone he did get some, and even went to get more spending £110. I'm really upset with the fact he's lied to me, I'd been at my mum's over the weekend so today he collected me, I'd tried to talk about it and tell him I know what he's done and I'm not happy about it, he's lied to me and hurt me. He just gets defensive and dismissive and turns it round on me that I've been on his back about the job, sleeping all day, I'm checking his phone ( I literally checked one chat to confirm my suspicions) and I've been at my mum's slagging him off. It just turns into an argument and he doesn't listen to what I have to say. I really don't know what to do, I feel so resentful towards him and feel as though I cannot continue the relationship anymore but I love him so much.

He struggles with an addictive personality and smokes weed daily, even had begun trying to lie about it so I'm worried this will turn into another addicion.

Just the fact that this is the only time we have together now and he would rather go out and do this than spend time as a family has also really hurt me.

I'm not sure how to go about this.

Any advice?
Thank you

Would you be annoyed?

So I was just putting my pumps on and I look out my window and next doors kid is in my garden I’m assuming getting the ball back! Now in my opinion I would NEVER let my child let themselves into someone else’s garden! If you kick your ball into someone’s garden that’s your own fault, leave it there and they will throw it back when they realise! It wouldn’t annoy me as much but these children are FERAL and the parents never once tell them to quiet down(even if they are out at 9-10pm) they constantly bike on my drive because there is a hill which they have nearly been hit by cars MULTIPLE times because they have no road sense! It seems the parents just don’t care what they do if I’m honest.

I just wanted to know if people think it’s unreasonable of me to go round and ask them to not let their children in my garden or are we letting peoples children do as they please?(coming from someone who has never had neighbours before)

1 year old still not really eating

Baby just turned 1 a few days ago and still won’t really eat anything. He will eat crackers voluntarily but everything else I give him he will taste it once occasionally and then just play with it. I’ve tried purées, hand food. I tried feeding him in the highchair and also just let him walk around. I tried feeding him while I’m eating. At this point I don’t know what else. At his 8,10 month appointments the Pediatrician just said stay consistent and keep trying and doing different things but at this point I don’t know. It’s just very discouraging now. He also has low iron and was prescribed iron drops and I’m sure that’s because he doesn’t eat anything. Any suggestions?

PDA (pathological demand avoidance)

Does anyone else here have PDA and struggles to let their partner make decisions? We're 6(ish) weeks away from twins and arguing so much about all of the decisions and purchases we have to make. He likes expensive and two of everything, I like cost and space efficient, more of a buy one, then decide if we need two when they are here..