Advice please anyone. I'm 28 weeks and live 6 hours from family. Throughout my pregnancy family have been very quiet and none have visited at all, I on the other hand have booked and paid for 2 seperate holidays for my mum and my uncle.. flights, hotels, hold bags, meals out, day trips, the lot, and a concert, and made the journey up to them each time driving them about, I dont have the money, but as it was a big birthday this year for my mum I wanted to make it a special year and used my savings and credit card to do so, my uncle came along and i didn't realise i'd be paying for him too, but that's how it landed. I get called on often to be vented to (as im outside the circle) but very seldom if ever am i asked how I am. Truth is i have really struggled and I have tried to mention it, it falls on deaf ears, i'll be a 38 year old first time mum, this pregnancy has been full off nausea and scares and worry and I have 6 years of failed pregnancies before now, so it's really been really scary and quite lonely and upsetting that noone has bothered to check in. Infact, for over a month i was completely ignored by my mum right before the last holiday. Then the holiday came and went, i drove 6 hours to pick them up then 4 hours to the airport, then the same on the return, then after getting home, she told me how bad the last few weeks have been because she has car insurance to sort out and asked me to pay for it, I had to say no because I genuinely didnt have it, then somehow an argument started and I had to end the call. So eventually 2 days ago, i just broke, and broke down to my other half, cried all day at how invisable i feel and how nothing i do is ever enough for my family, and he messaged my dad ( who is seperated from my mum and the rest of the family) who then called me.. and then out it all come to him. Apparently he then spoke to my mum and now, i have just found out that since yesterday it was decided and i'm now supposed to drive 6 hours up to them 6 weeks before my due date, because now out the blue theres going to be a baby shower for me. All of a sudden (within 2 days or talking to my dad) aunties are messaging asking how i am, my mum is being very sweet. She sent me a video of her either all the family and saying 'all say hello' (to me) and it was so forced and awkward and they all started to talk about how much weight i'd gained when they'd seen me last, it was horrible to watch, sweet in a way on my mums part, but just uncomfortable as everyone else seemed so 'why are we doing this'. Anyway.. at this point, Am I being petulant, or can I just say no to this? I cant help but feel this isn't for me at all but to make them feel better, and noone even asked, they just told my partner to bring me up and sort it out, meaning us paying for fuel, a hotel, taking time from work, sorting the dog out etc.. and all 6 weeks and 3 days before i'm due. It really annoyed me when i found out, am I just being hormonal? Or spoilt? Or am I rightly annoyed? I feel like just hibernating from everyone at this point. The whole thing just feels so awkward. I never wanted a fuss from anyone, certainly not gifts, I just really felt the lack of compassion.
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As someone who grew up in a dysfunctional family with emotionally unavailable parents, I can seriously relate to this. My advice? Step away. If not for your emotional well being, then for the family you're creating. For your sake, I genuinely hope they were just blind to their ways and will make genuine effort to make you feel loved and included, but they may not. In my experience, the appeasement will last a short time and is often followed by guilt trips and coercion. That's why I chose to distance myself and my children.
You are not being ungrateful for wanting your family to care about how you are or to simply try and connect as a functioning family should. You are also not being unreasonable to have expected their attempt at consideration to be... well, more considerate. I would feel the same way in your shoes. However, it will be on you to draw the boundaries and enforce them should you want your relationships with them to change.

I understand that feeling, and it is mentally draining to the point that it leads to physical exhaustion.
I did not begin distancing myself from people until I had my second child. They made me feel guilty, and I struggled with that at first, but once those feelings passed, I found a sense of peace. I began asking myself whether a situation brings me peace, and I use that to guide my daily life.
I believe your mother is making an effort in the best way she knows how, though I certainly understand that having to exert extra effort can be frustrating, especially regarding finances. Once your baby arrives, it will require a significant amount of your time. Enjoy this period before the birth because 6 weeks will be here before you know it. Put yourself first.

Girl listen! So we both know the baby shower only came about because of your dad saying something so if you don’t really need them for anything let them be! Enjoy your last 6 weeks stress free girl! You don’t need all that fakeness and negativity around you! Like the weight comments and stuff were uncalled for and so not needed! They can find a way to make the 6 hour drive if they really wanna do a GENUINE baby shower! Be easy my girl!!! I’m here if you wanna vent some more!
My husband and I moved from Florida to Minnesota in Dec 2023. We had been trying for years for a LO and just left it to fate. If we were meant to have one , it’ll happen. Well it did , one year exactly after moving here. She’s 14 months now and the sunshine of our lives. The thing is we are alone here , we have our best friends but they are DINKS. So they aren’t too sure what to do or say to help us. What did you do ladies to build up a foundation ? It’s so hard breaking into these groups that have grown up together and making new friendships as an adult feels impossible. It has really made my husband pause and think should we actually try for a second baby? I would love another child , but he’s worried about us being here alone. I don’t want that fear to stop us from adding another best friend to our family. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. A picture of our sunshine ☀️

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i don’t really talk to my kids my kids are 4 2 and 1 i don’t even talk to them like often i don’t even know how i don’t know if part of it is that i have social anxiety no friends and introverted i just have nothing to say and idk what to talk to them about lol is that just me or something i notice when they go to my moms house she talks to them constantly and plays games with them like something out an episode of bluey😭i just don’t have it in me to do all that and i would never make anything like that up
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Hi,
I hope you're all well.
I'm looking for soma advice if anyone has been in the same situation.
My little one is 3 months old, my partner has just started a new night shift job to try support me more ( hasn't worked out yet as he's sleeping all day because he's tired) and has reconnected with some old friends. He's told me that they take cocaine all the time, even at work. This weekend he had gone out with them, I'd asked him about the cocaine and he had said he's not doing it, even got defensive and mad telling me to leave it.
After checking his phone he did get some, and even went to get more spending £110. I'm really upset with the fact he's lied to me, I'd been at my mum's over the weekend so today he collected me, I'd tried to talk about it and tell him I know what he's done and I'm not happy about it, he's lied to me and hurt me. He just gets defensive and dismissive and turns it round on me that I've been on his back about the job, sleeping all day, I'm checking his phone ( I literally checked one chat to confirm my suspicions) and I've been at my mum's slagging him off. It just turns into an argument and he doesn't listen to what I have to say. I really don't know what to do, I feel so resentful towards him and feel as though I cannot continue the relationship anymore but I love him so much.
He struggles with an addictive personality and smokes weed daily, even had begun trying to lie about it so I'm worried this will turn into another addicion.
Just the fact that this is the only time we have together now and he would rather go out and do this than spend time as a family has also really hurt me.
I'm not sure how to go about this.
Any advice?
Thank you

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So I was just putting my pumps on and I look out my window and next doors kid is in my garden I’m assuming getting the ball back! Now in my opinion I would NEVER let my child let themselves into someone else’s garden! If you kick your ball into someone’s garden that’s your own fault, leave it there and they will throw it back when they realise! It wouldn’t annoy me as much but these children are FERAL and the parents never once tell them to quiet down(even if they are out at 9-10pm) they constantly bike on my drive because there is a hill which they have nearly been hit by cars MULTIPLE times because they have no road sense! It seems the parents just don’t care what they do if I’m honest.
I just wanted to know if people think it’s unreasonable of me to go round and ask them to not let their children in my garden or are we letting peoples children do as they please?(coming from someone who has never had neighbours before)
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Baby just turned 1 a few days ago and still won’t really eat anything. He will eat crackers voluntarily but everything else I give him he will taste it once occasionally and then just play with it. I’ve tried purées, hand food. I tried feeding him in the highchair and also just let him walk around. I tried feeding him while I’m eating. At this point I don’t know what else. At his 8,10 month appointments the Pediatrician just said stay consistent and keep trying and doing different things but at this point I don’t know. It’s just very discouraging now. He also has low iron and was prescribed iron drops and I’m sure that’s because he doesn’t eat anything. Any suggestions?

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Does anyone else here have PDA and struggles to let their partner make decisions? We're 6(ish) weeks away from twins and arguing so much about all of the decisions and purchases we have to make. He likes expensive and two of everything, I like cost and space efficient, more of a buy one, then decide if we need two when they are here..

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