Advice please
So basically, I am 4.5 months postpartum, me and my partner haven’t had sex since last October, so we’re coming up for a year now.
When I was pregnant he couldn’t get an erection, and said it was because I was pregnant, so I just had to deal with that, didn’t feel great but I dealt with it. I’m now 4.5 months postpartum and he still can’t, his testosterone tests are all coming back fine, no problems.
He’s refusing to take Viagra but won’t give me a reason why, I’ve tried everything, date nights, new lingerie, talking about it, medication, changed his diet and cook separately for him, encouraged him to go workout in the gym, taken over all the household chores and parenting, literally you name it I’ve done, but we’re still no further forward.
Every time I try to talk to him he belittles me, and makes me feel bad for missing him, I’ll get comments like ‘now you want me you didn’t before’
I’m slowly losing my desire for him, it’s fizzling away I can feel it. He won’t engage in any foreplay or anything, so literally NOTHING in nearly a year.
Any advice on what I can do to help? Has anyone been in a similar situation, how did you navigate it?
The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of Peanut.
Learn more about our guidelines.
Im sorry but he sounds like a right dick… he shouldn’t make you feel bad about anything you were pregnant and postpartum of course the last thing you could think about is sex and he’s too childish to understand… I would tell him straight that him belittling you is pushing you away and your want for him 🙄
Does he have a reason for not trying at all? It sounds like he's not interested, how is his mental health? It sounds like you have tried everything
Sounds like you have tried everything except looking into if he is getting it somewhere else. I hate to say that, but this behavior at THIS time for YOU, If he isn't already I'm sure he is looking. No man truly doesn't want sex. That is just what they say to the one they don't want to be with anymore. I'm not saying he doesn't love you in some way. But for you to have done everything you say you have and for him to still wrap it back around to your fault. That at the very least is gaslighting which is a form of abuse. So either he is a cheater or he is abusive. (Small chance it's something medical but if you tell him he is about to lose you and he still refuses to go get help, then you know the truth) many times the reality of fatherhood can freak a man straight to his core (sometimes moms too, lets not be one sided here) Maybe a separation is needed. For both of you. Not saying divorce him with zero proof. Just take a temp leave from him. Nothing wrong with sperations.
Trending
in our community
Sex Drive - does it ever come back?!
I’m 17 weeks pregnant and since finding out my partner and I have only done the deed twice. I suffered with HG up to about 15 weeks so that definitely hasn’t helped.
I’m feeling better in myself now but still don’t really have any desire to have sex.
I love my partner probably more now than ever so it’s not that.. does the sex drive ever really come back?
6
Any girlies in South Brisbane keen for a coffee?
I need girlies who are interested in yapping and not ghosting 😭
7
Should I quit before my maternity leave ends?
My 3mo was hospitalized the past couple days due to RSV. This has been one of the most traumatic experiences I’ve ever had. Last Wednesday my baby started having a dry cough, it wasn’t intense but I was monitoring him. The following day he was sneezing and cough with mild congestion. Friday was a bit worse so I took him to his pediatrician and they said he had a cold but was ok. I was a bit in doubt but continued to monitor him. Sunday was extremely bad, I took him to urgent care and they had to get him transported to the ER. Watching my baby get loaded into the ambulance was a nightmare. I cried the entire way to the hospital. They confirmed he had RSV and was going to be admitted. Watching my baby in such a weak state and get treated, had me feeling horrible. I was praying to take the pain away from him.. I was reminded that my maternity leave ends in 2 weeks but I can’t even imagine leaving my baby now, especially after what he’s gone through. I want to quit my job and be there for him. Everyone’s saying I’m over exaggerating but am I really? Could someone please tell me what they’d do in this case?
5
Advice please
So basically, I am 4.5 months postpartum, me and my partner haven’t had sex since last October, so we’re coming up for a year now.
When I was pregnant he couldn’t get an erection, and said it was because I was pregnant, so I just had to deal with that, didn’t feel great but I dealt with it. I’m now 4.5 months postpartum and he still can’t, his testosterone tests are all coming back fine, no problems.
He’s refusing to take Viagra but won’t give me a reason why, I’ve tried everything, date nights, new lingerie, talking about it, medication, changed his diet and cook separately for him, encouraged him to go workout in the gym, taken over all the household chores and parenting, literally you name it I’ve done, but we’re still no further forward.
Every time I try to talk to him he belittles me, and makes me feel bad for missing him, I’ll get comments like ‘now you want me you didn’t before’
I’m slowly losing my desire for him, it’s fizzling away I can feel it. He won’t engage in any foreplay or anything, so literally NOTHING in nearly a year.
Any advice on what I can do to help? Has anyone been in a similar situation, how did you navigate it?
1
3
no judgment pls & tyyy
sooo I slept with one guy & then my ex (from 4ish years ago) bang on a week later, and I’m now 38w with one of theirs baby😅I originally thought it was the first guy cause the timing just made a bit more sense but now i just really dk cause I could’ve ovulated late or something like who knows. I never tracked my ovulation or period or nothing. anywayyy, the first guy I haven’t spoken too since I told him…like not even a word. my ex however has been so good about all of this and he only found out about 3ish months ago that im pregnant. he said he’d do a dna test & we’ll figure it out from there but I haven’t seen him since I slept with him and the only time I’ve seen him within the past 4 years is when I slept with him😅
How do I go about the DNA test??? do I invite him over to do it? do I quickly go visit him to do it? do we meet up somewhere and him do it quick? like all he has to do is swab his cheek but idk how to arrange it so it’s not awkward and I don’t really want him meeting the baby till we know if it’s his or not cause I feel like that’d just make him upset if he meets him & then it’s not his yk? what would you do, how would you go about it?
4
I’m crying with joy
I just received my divorce paperwork and it’s finally finalized after a 2 year long process . Thank you Jesus . I was married for 15 years . Very toxic , verbal and all . I’m so happy I got my last name back 💕
7
4
Download the Peanut App
