Drowning in marriage life ..
I been married to my husband for 8 years now, things feel dead . He think it’s okay to disappear after work , be gone all night or even days without contact . He’s done this a handful amount of times .. each time detaching me even more. I have no trust for him so his words mean nothing to me.. he says he’s not wired to be in a marriage .. blames me for how he is and the things he does. Idk what he does when he disappears ..I’m broken for awhile .. tells me he goes to the bar all night or billiards .. idk I don’t believe anything .. he says things stating he doesn’t want to be here but doesn’t want to get a divorce.. claims he does have love for me just like he does his mom and grandma .. he’s just always on his phone through the days and nights when he’s here .. I feel alone and hated . I’ve given and have treated him with so much love and forgiveness.. I feel defeated , stuck , anxious, hurt , lost , and angry . What you you think of this. ? Maybe it’s me , I don’t know how to help or what to do if he’s not willing to put effort into building trust .. or if it’s even worth it considering I don’t feel loved or respected. I feel even that he might be cheating ..😵💫
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At that point an ultimatum is appropriate. Does he want a divorce or counseling/therapy? You don't have to tolerate this. If he isn't willing to work on the marriage then talk to an attorney.
Girl you deserve a man who wants to give you the earth, moon, and stars, not this pathetic of a guy. I know you love him but you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. I’m not sure if you have a boy or girl but regardless you have to do what’s best for them and they deserve someone who is present. If you have a little girl they CANT grow up thinking this type of marriage is normal. If you have a little boy they CANT grow up thinking his behavior is acceptable. Girl run for the hills and find yourself a man who will be your BETTER half. He either buckles down and does the work or goodbye. You can’t keep living like this it will only put on more stress not knowing what is going on.
Sometimes when people disappear without contact for periods of time, there are drugs involved. He could be using and enjoying being high and away from all the responsibilities.
This situation sounds miserable and I’m so sorry you’re living with this kind of relationship.
Do you think about leaving him? What kind of future do you want for yourself? What type of relationship do you feel you deserve? Would staying with him be a betrayal of yourself? Just questions to think about. I know this is the hardest thing ❤️🩹
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Overwhelmed mama
Hey all,
This is just a rant I apologise in advance and I’m posting anonymously because I’m carrying so much shame for this but I need to say it out loud… being a mama is tough!!!!
Doing it solo since my LO was 6 weeks old and I’ve got so many positives happening right now, a new home I’m decorating and getting ready to move into with my little boy, life should feel lighter. But the to do list, with an 8, almost 9 month old who’s been battling a cold for a week, sleepless nights, grumpy days, I’m burnt out.
I’ve tried talking to my own mum but she questions how I’m going to cope being on my own with him (we are currently at my parents) and when I try to talk to her when I get a little overwhelmed, she responds in ways that highlight why I shouldn’t be struggling and it makes me shut down and say less.
Please tell me I’m not alone having hard days? I’m like a bottle of pop constantly being shook with nowhere to put it, so I’m posting this on here whilst crying on the toilet. 🤦🏼♀️
Please be gentle.
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Questions for SAHM
Are you guys genuinely giving your baby your undivided attention all day?? My baby is fine with independent play on his mat so often times I let him just play (obviously I’m nearby paying attention) but if he’s not crying I just let him be. I use this time to clean whatever room I’m in or just relax for a second. Is that bad?? For 5 months he’s where he should be milestone wise I think. Rolling both ways, rocking back and forth getting ready to crawl, sits up mostly unsupported.. I just feel guilty like should I be playing with him all day?? Or is independent play a good skill to have?? And yes I do play with him, and if he’s crying I pick him up and comfort him and play with him in my lap.
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Behaviour
I have a 5 year old daughter and her attitude and behaviour is so bad lately is that normal
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Upset
So my bf has told me "you've let yourself go" and "im not attracted to you " I had my baby 5 months ago. I do everything on my own (hes gone 5 days a week) I have no family here. When hes home he doesnt do much. My baby doesnt take a bottle so I cant even go to the nail salon. I am a stay at home mom. Im starting up my business with a 5 month old. And my bd just sent me a photo of me when I was prepragancy..... he didmt say anything just sent a mirror butt selfie I had taken. Im upset. I was 196 when I got pregnant and im down to 217. I cant count calories due to breast feeding and I've just expressed that for the last 4 months I've had the baby blues. Like how you yall feel?
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BS!
Does anyone else's baby daddy husband boyfriend fiance whatever your with say they'll help take care of the baby will take them for maybe 30 minutes and then let them just start crying untell you come get them or they'll take them for the day and by the time you get the baby back their diapers completely full to the point they've probably been sitting in it for anywhere from an hour to two and they have not changed it and their excuses oh I didn't know or oh they must have just pooped when it is clear they have a diaper rash to the point you know they were sitting in the diaper for over an hour I had to go to a doctor's appointment that took up most of my day on Friday and I came home to my son his diaper completely soaked through him wailing out of hunger and needing his diaper changed and he had a diaper rash so bad it was bleeding in one spot
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Drowning in marriage life ..
I been married to my husband for 8 years now, things feel dead . He think it’s okay to disappear after work , be gone all night or even days without contact . He’s done this a handful amount of times .. each time detaching me even more. I have no trust for him so his words mean nothing to me.. he says he’s not wired to be in a marriage .. blames me for how he is and the things he does. Idk what he does when he disappears ..I’m broken for awhile .. tells me he goes to the bar all night or billiards .. idk I don’t believe anything .. he says things stating he doesn’t want to be here but doesn’t want to get a divorce.. claims he does have love for me just like he does his mom and grandma .. he’s just always on his phone through the days and nights when he’s here .. I feel alone and hated . I’ve given and have treated him with so much love and forgiveness.. I feel defeated , stuck , anxious, hurt , lost , and angry . What you you think of this. ? Maybe it’s me , I don’t know how to help or what to do if he’s not willing to put effort into building trust .. or if it’s even worth it considering I don’t feel loved or respected. I feel even that he might be cheating ..😵💫
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