Advice

I can’t say I have. I was only off of work for 14m with my son though. My husband only ever goes to work. He doesn’t do anything else (like he doesn’t go hang out with friends nor does he have a hobby that takes him out of the house). And most of the time he worked from home, only 2 days in office occasionally.

I was also very active while home with my son. I went out every day. I had a Mommy Connections group I went to every week with 10 other moms. I did Stroller Socials every other Wednesday when the weather was nice. The alternating Wednesday was Movies for Mommies. I did an infant music class every week. If I didn’t have something planned, I would reach out to my mom friends/mom groups and ask if anyone wanted to go for lunch, grab a coffee or a beer, go for a walk, walk around the mall, check out a park, an indoor playplace, etc etc.

I HAD to get out every day. It made me feel social and normal. I had those adult conversations and stimulation. It made mothering feel easier

I felt this way for a very long time. But tbh at this point, maybe it’s just been so long that I’ve gotten used to my solitude and kinda like being to myself and don’t really want to do what he does.

But yeah, totally know what you’re going through.

Yup , me right here. I told him this several times and got to plan my evenings out to the gym or anywhere I could go and just be for a couple of hours while he stayed with our three girls under 5 and he gets it now 💕

It’s easy to go out when it’s only one child , but I have three now sooo to go out with them myself takes at least 30 mins to get out the door… not including planning or bringing anything with us but diapers n water lol

I used to. But now my little girl is 15 months it's a lot easier to take her out with me and chill out together. Her dad also looks after her if I need time to myself

Yes same here! The phrase “I’ll just pop out” grinds my gears, I wish I could just “pop out” without having to plan 2 weeks ahead just to go out and buy a new pair of socks 😂😂🤣

I stopped caring about the house, cleaning or cooking. I maintain the bare minimum. And i agree with everyone that going out, with other moms or alone, helps a lot.

I will add he’s a deep sleeper too so whenever she used to wake up guess who was on night duty 👋🏼 luckily she only woke up the first month now she’s three months old and sleeps through x

I felt this way and he also has a huge friendship group who have all known each other since they were in primary school. They’re now all in their 30s, and I did resent the fact that I’m home all day and then even when he is home baby only wants to be on me. We did talk about it and we do try to spend some more time together sometimes , even if it is not very often. Also making more mum friends is very beneficial, or even just going out for coffee, museums etc gives you something to do, passes the time and you then also have something to talk about when he comes home. Starting a routine away from cooking, cleaning etc will massively shift your mindset and it can wait, how you feel about yourself and your relationship definitely takes precedent x