Dealing with infidelity (rant kinda)
The past few days have been very weird for me. My partner of almost 10 years came to me and told me that in the first 3 years of our relationship (before we had our son) he slept with three different women, two of which I also know one of them being his ex where he had sex with her twice. Before he told me about this, there was another instance where he kissed another woman that, again, we both knew but he told me about that almost right away and this was last year.
When he told me this I stayed quiet and honestly I just felt numb and for the past few days we've just spoken about it. I haven't gotten angry. I haven't shouted at him or screamed at him. We've almost acted as if everything is normal and it's kind of driving me insane a little bit. I haven't been able to cry about this every time I think about it, but I think it's mostly because I just can't imagine it. Our whole relationship he has told me that I've been the only one he has had sex with and it was a lie.
I refuse to talk to any of my friends or family about this because I don't want them to know what's going on and I don't want to hear their advice. I also don't want anyone looking at him any differently because of this. I don't know if it's just my brain not letting me process it all at once because it's just too much to take or if I've just given up and emotionally surrendered.
We have one son together who is 3. I am the main one who looks after him and does everything and I don't want to have a breakdown in front of him if it comes to a point where it all just comes out at once.
How does a person deal with this? What do I do? I'm so numb it's weird
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The first 3 years… so he has been faithful the past 7? Why is he bringing it up now? Is it guilt?
I’m sorry you’re dealing with that.
It’s definitely a lot to process and maybe a marriage counselor could help.
You don’t want anyone looking at him differently because of this? Why are you protecting him?
Anyways everyone is different but for me personally cheating is a deal breaker.
I am so sorry you are going through this.
I assume you wrote this for opinions
This is mine
I think you should speak to a professional about the reasons you want to protect him & why you’ve not particularly had a reaction
It’s not healthy for you to carry this
As you said at worst it will affect your Son, If you don’t deal with this now / near future
Secondly if someone can lie like this for a number of years there is likely to be more secrets
Why tell you at all
These women yo’ve known of them so they all had something over you
When you interacted with them or whilst he interacted with them after the infidelity if it was once or a million times
He placed you in that position
He hasn’t chosen you or thought about your family (son)
Only last year kissing someone
He’s not worthy of you
Please take some time away for yourself & think about things a bit deeper
A man like this can’t be trusted
Sending love & peace
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So I have with my partner for almost 3 yrs now and we almost a 18 m old daughter about a year ago he said he wasnt attracted to.me and I found jim talking to his ex new girls and paying for porn +trying to pay for sex I have lost 30+ lbs since I started working out 7 months ago to try to save is now at the end of last month he went on a juisness trip he was trying to leave without telling me but I woke up he looked suprisedbbut told me they called him that same morning the next day he dumped me but he wanted to still live together I was heartbroken and scared ofc here's the thing he comes back EARLY like 3 weeks early as a supeise for me literally showed up at 2 am while I was sobbing and we talked he wants to try I want to try but he still wants sex cuddles kisses im just so overwhelmed im only 22 and never in my years have I experienced anything like this... pic of our daughter for attention
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Dealing with infidelity (rant kinda)
The past few days have been very weird for me. My partner of almost 10 years came to me and told me that in the first 3 years of our relationship (before we had our son) he slept with three different women, two of which I also know one of them being his ex where he had sex with her twice. Before he told me about this, there was another instance where he kissed another woman that, again, we both knew but he told me about that almost right away and this was last year.
When he told me this I stayed quiet and honestly I just felt numb and for the past few days we've just spoken about it. I haven't gotten angry. I haven't shouted at him or screamed at him. We've almost acted as if everything is normal and it's kind of driving me insane a little bit. I haven't been able to cry about this every time I think about it, but I think it's mostly because I just can't imagine it. Our whole relationship he has told me that I've been the only one he has had sex with and it was a lie.
I refuse to talk to any of my friends or family about this because I don't want them to know what's going on and I don't want to hear their advice. I also don't want anyone looking at him any differently because of this. I don't know if it's just my brain not letting me process it all at once because it's just too much to take or if I've just given up and emotionally surrendered.
We have one son together who is 3. I am the main one who looks after him and does everything and I don't want to have a breakdown in front of him if it comes to a point where it all just comes out at once.
How does a person deal with this? What do I do? I'm so numb it's weird
3
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